to make a long story short, I just found out that my boy friend "steps out" on me. I have the email to prove such. I know that tactics for the way I got this email probably arent right, but whatever. I dont care. If he gives me reason, then I have reason enought to go behind him. I just cant believe that He leaves these emails, and doesnt delete them. Is he trying to set me up? Im not a stupid or dumb person. I trusted him before this, and if hes testing that, then, what do I do. Ive never cheated and will never cheat. Why would he, especially when his last 3 boy friends did him wrong???
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just found out my boyfriend cheats on me
- Thread starter intheric
- Start date
Its up to you, but probably if it was me and a BF was cheating repeatedly I would dump him, especially as there seems to be some premeditation with emails and the such. Also depends how long you have been together, anything more than a year and the chances are higher I would dump him, if you are newly together, I would check if he really understood where the relationship was in your eyes, everyone gets a chance at the begining, but as I said if it was longer, I would be harsher in my judgement.
SilverRRCloud
I'd rather be a Sexgod:)
Only he really knows, why he cheats.
Most guys cheat simply because they really cannot help it. They are simply wired that way.
Obviously, this is not everyone's thing. In particular, if you had agreed on monogamy in the first place.
Yet, some of the people reading this post may want to pause, take a deep breath and really ask themselves, why are we reading such posts several times a week, and why is cheating so prevalent?
IMHO, because men are men. Their programming tells them to spread their seed as far and as wide and as often as they can. And because men are not women, and are not having much of a program telling them that they will have to raise the consequences of their sexual pleasures in the sweat of their own faces and, if push comes to shove, at their own expense.
When you really come to think about it, marital monogamy makes sense in hetero relations for a host of well-known reasons. Advocating such a monogamy in m2m relations is an uphill struggle, in the least. Save for the STDs, most of which can be prevented by the use of a simple condom, there is really no fundamental reason for two men to wish to impose monogamy on each other. Most men clearly differentiate between love and sex. And though most men do not quite understand that mimicking hetero-induced Judeo-Christian marital fidelity in m2m relationships hardly makes any sense, they cheat left and right, as we all very well know.
SC
Most guys cheat simply because they really cannot help it. They are simply wired that way.
Obviously, this is not everyone's thing. In particular, if you had agreed on monogamy in the first place.
Yet, some of the people reading this post may want to pause, take a deep breath and really ask themselves, why are we reading such posts several times a week, and why is cheating so prevalent?
IMHO, because men are men. Their programming tells them to spread their seed as far and as wide and as often as they can. And because men are not women, and are not having much of a program telling them that they will have to raise the consequences of their sexual pleasures in the sweat of their own faces and, if push comes to shove, at their own expense.
When you really come to think about it, marital monogamy makes sense in hetero relations for a host of well-known reasons. Advocating such a monogamy in m2m relations is an uphill struggle, in the least. Save for the STDs, most of which can be prevented by the use of a simple condom, there is really no fundamental reason for two men to wish to impose monogamy on each other. Most men clearly differentiate between love and sex. And though most men do not quite understand that mimicking hetero-induced Judeo-Christian marital fidelity in m2m relationships hardly makes any sense, they cheat left and right, as we all very well know.
SC
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I agree your boyfriend is a shit for cheating and you might as well toss him out to the curb now because your relationship is sooooooo over, but I just want to note that about 90% of everything you've written is really scary.
Frankly, if you think you own someone, you deserve to have a hard landing when you fall flat on your ass.
If you think you can impose something on a relationship, I think it demonstrates that you don't understand the basis of relationships at all. You are just looking at a relationship as a means of controlling the other person.
The reason he's leaving the evidence is to let you know that you don't exercise complete control over him.
You can accept this, or your head can explode. I frankly don't think he gives a shit.
He's just waiting for his freedom.
Spend some serious time evaluating how you deal with people in all aspects of your relationships with them and see if you can develop a healthier approach.
theFallenGod
P-Chan love
Dump him....
If hes not man enough to overcome his animalistic tendencies for the sake of your love... hes not worth it...
He cheated... his cheating has exposed you to a whole host of other issues...
since he cares nothing about putting you at risk... hes an asshole....
If hes not man enough to overcome his animalistic tendencies for the sake of your love... hes not worth it...
He cheated... his cheating has exposed you to a whole host of other issues...
since he cares nothing about putting you at risk... hes an asshole....
Does it really matter why he cheats? You now know that he cheats. Either you can deal with that by confronting him about it and working it out, or you can't, in which case you confront him about it and dump him. The way I see it, the question you're asking is not as important as the decision you now will be making.
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I was actually addressing both and probably should have separated the two.
I apologize if I took the statement too literally about ownership.
....and no, I don't cheat my ass off. I believe that the relationship is based on love and mutual respect. When a partner cheats, one of those two things are missing.
I have almost zero tolerance for cheaters but I also notice that the op seems to have done some spying to get his evidence. I have almost zero tolerance for that as well.
I stand by the premise that one never 'imposes' rules on a successful relationship.
I apologize if I took the statement too literally about ownership.
....and no, I don't cheat my ass off. I believe that the relationship is based on love and mutual respect. When a partner cheats, one of those two things are missing.
I have almost zero tolerance for cheaters but I also notice that the op seems to have done some spying to get his evidence. I have almost zero tolerance for that as well.
I stand by the premise that one never 'imposes' rules on a successful relationship.
S
SantaCBear
Guest
Too many guys like to impose monogamy on their partners yet prefer 'openess' concerning themselves.
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Do I hear a song coming on?
"It is all about ME.
Oh why can't you see.
It's all about me."
Partnership and relationship is about mutuality.
Converse about things,
and listen to one another.
Negotiate what the understandings are,
and even sign the agreement.
Be loving,
for you will expect and want love in return.
Shep+
"It is all about ME.
Oh why can't you see.
It's all about me."
Partnership and relationship is about mutuality.
Converse about things,
and listen to one another.
Negotiate what the understandings are,
and even sign the agreement.
Be loving,
for you will expect and want love in return.
Shep+
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
You didn't trust him enough to go through his e-mails, and he didn't think enough of you to cheat on you.
Finis.
Lex
Finis.
Lex