Just got dumped!

[iamthesean]

Well,

things haven't been the greatest, i've been dating a quiet bi guy for 7 months as of yesterday...however as of late he's been more distant than usual.

Well today he msn'd me to ask if he could come over...which automatically means something bad, or that I'm not going to like.

I assumed it was to dump me, and I assumed right...in retrospect, i wish i had bet money on it.

He said that he wasn't happy, and that he hasn't been for a while, and I said "well is this you telling me because you aren't happy and think we can fix it, or because you're not happy and want to leave?" and he said leave....so i'm here alone now.

I don't even know how to feel right now...I REALLY loved this guy, and like I promised myself I wouldn't get into another relationship without putting my whole ass into it (as opposed to half-ass ), so it's hitting me.

It doesn't help that I got S.A.D., and not feeling too great at this time of year anyway, but the odd thing is, I feel completely numb about it.

anyway, I got some friends coming over to get my plastered...i'll talk more later if anyone is interested to hear any more.

 

[operafan]

Sorry, baby. Is it the bi-thing or he just wanted to move on?

 

[maxxximum]

getting plastered isnt such a bad idea for you right now. helps with the healing process. not your loss, really.

 

[dave_63]

He said that he wasn't happy, and that he hasn't been for a while, and I said "well is this you telling me because you aren't happy and think we can fix it, or because you're not happy and want to leave?" and he said leave....so i'm here alone now.

That sucks, iamthesean.......Sorry to hear that.

At least he had the balls to tell you and not leave you wondering....

 

[NightDancer]

Hi,

Well first of all -

I'm sorry to hear - You seem to have liked this guy very much.

Have fun tonight with your friends and come back to JUB if you need to talk.

 

[luminum]

Well,

things haven't been the greatest, i've been dating a quiet bi guy for 7 months as of yesterday...however as of late he's been more distant than usual.

Well today he msn'd me to ask if he could come over...which automatically means something bad, or that I'm not going to like.

I assumed it was to dump me, and I assumed right...in retrospect, i wish i had bet money on it.

He said that he wasn't happy, and that he hasn't been for a while, and I said "well is this you telling me because you aren't happy and think we can fix it, or because you're not happy and want to leave?" and he said leave....so i'm here alone now.

I absolutely hate it when guys pull that crap. If you weren't happy for a while, why didn't you say anything so it could be addressed! I got that from an ex who would lecture me about how "up front" he was and how he believed in honesty at any cost. Yeah, right.

I know you went out with him for a long time and you put your heart into it, but it's clear that communication was off between you two. You'll find someone better. Screw that.

 

[iamthesean]

yeah, i got soooo wasted last night, and my friend and his firend (i just met him that night) crashed in my bed...not in the sexual way, in the too drunk to go home from my apartment with too little furniture way.

yeah, i woke up this morning wishing it was all just a bad dream...spent the night dreaming about him...

thanks luminum, yeah I REALLY wish he had addressed it earlier, because I KNEW something was up, and by him not being up front about it, it made me more and more paranoid, and seemingly 'controlling' because i felt like he was keeping something from me...which he apparently was

www.myspace.com/iamthesean

yeah there's my myspace if u guys know any cute sweet guys

ugh...i wanna talk to him today about it. i didn't really get to say much to him yesterday, i was mostly shocked, and just numb.

not srue what i wanna say...that i truly did love him...that i'm sorry things worked out that way, that i wish he had told me so we could have figured things out...i don't know
maybe ask him if i really was just an experiment that ended up taking up more time than he planned.

 

[antdak]

so sorry to hear! I'm sure it will work out for you in the long run.

 

[BoSoxFanVa]

After three years, my partner got drunk one night and let it fly. It was over in less than an hour.

I couldn't breathe for weeks. I didn't see it coming.

I think you should avoid the urge to discuss this with him further. I know it's hard especially when you are already dealing with depression.

Take a few weeks then express your feelings in a heartfelt letter. Don't be bitter or mean. Be classy and strong. It will make you feel better.

Keep us posted.

 

[iamthesean]

well thanks for all your support guys.

I'm going to have to see/talk to him eventually, i work with all of his friends, and he still has a good deal of my stuff.

I still don't know what to say, still hoping it was a mistake, that he didn't mean it, that he's just scared or something else. i don't know.

 

[JackFTwist]

we break up with everyone until we marry - and then we can divorce

it is never easy, is ofren depressing and angst ridden and utter pain

and it always sucks

trying to get 'all the answers' can be impossible - some things just are

your friends care and lean on them

 

[mojoe54]

So sorry it didn't work out for you guys. Just remember you are young,attractive,intelligent ( yes I did read your myspace profile) and well-spoken. I know there are alot of guys out there who would be glad to have a bf like you. I know it's hard after you've been dumped, but try to keep your heart open, and sooner or later someone will come along to fill it up again. Take care. bb

P.S. This might sound kind of silly and off-topic, but if you have a tanning salon anywhere near you,make use of it. It will help with the S.A.D.ness.

 

[iamthesean]

i wanna get one of those S.A.D. lamps...my friend said costco has it cheap now.

for the record, i ended up talking to the boy this afternoon. he asked how i was, i said not the greatest, i asked how he was, he said bad, i asked why and he said he is sad. I told him i would like to talk to him, but that i was too tired to do it right now, so if he wasn't busy asked if we could later, then made a dinner date out of it.

we went to our fave restaurant...talked and had a good time, but didn't talk about anything to do with the breakup..it was kind of like old times...sort of awkward as well.

when we were finishing up, i asked if we could talk somewhere after, ended up at his house. (he only lives a block away, and i was driving)...told him that i was sorry for the things i knew were bothering him, told him i wish he had told me he wasn't happy earlier, and then asked if it was things i did or being in a relationship with me that made him unhappy...he said he was sad, and ended up crying today, and kept fighting the urge to call me and say he didn't mean it, and wanted me back.

so i said maybe we took things a little quickly, and things got out of hand, and we both did stupid things which made the other react in a way that created a nice little vicious cycle.

So...things are better between us...whether or not we are going to be back together or what is still up in the air i suppose...but at least i feel a little better about it, and have some hope.

thanks for all your support guys. this is what a gay community should be.

<3 Sean