Just had gay sex for the first time. Didn't enjoy it.

[bruce379]

ever tried being a top?

did you even like the guy you had your first time with? that alone is a killer of any satisfaction from sex in the first place.

not all sex are enjoyable. some of them are just awful.

most of all, try to find a guy you like in the first place and who is attracted to you too. chemistry is key, otherwise, what's the point?

 

[Rolyo85]

OP. Please educate yourself. The risk of HIV is relatively low from swallowing....and no sex is without some degree of risk. If blowjpbs are your thing, then don't worry about the anal...or stick to being a top.

In fact, swallowing REDUCES the risk. Just saying. #sexed

 

[KaraBulut]

In fact, swallowing REDUCES the risk. Just saying. #sexed

There's no study that supports this statement. Rareboy's statement is correct based upon what we know- oral sex is a low risk of infection but we don't really know the exact means of infection (e.g. non-intact skin, gum disease, etc). There have been reports of infection from blowjobs from precum only, so it is possible that the sole method of infection was exposure via the mouth- no ejaculate, no swallowing in these cases.

Stated another way- the risk of exposure is related more to the amount of virus (i.e. viral load) than to whether you took a load. If the person had a low viral load, the risk is much lower than if they had a high viral load.

Either way... it's a red herring in this thread. Whether or not he swallowed has little bearing on his feelings about the experience.

 

[Rolyo85]

There's no study that supports this statement. Rareboy's statement is correct based upon what we know- oral sex is a low risk of infection but we don't really know the exact means of infection (e.g. non-intact skin, gum disease, etc). There have been reports of infection from blowjobs from precum only, so it is possible that the sole method of infection was exposure via the mouth- no ejaculate, no swallowing in these cases. Stated another way- the risk of exposure is related more to the amount of virus (i.e. viral load) than to whether you took a load. If the person had a low viral load, the risk is much lower than if they had a high viral load. Either way... it's a red herring in this thread. Whether or not he swallowed has little bearing on his feelings about the experience.

Actually, from what I've read, there are no recorded cases where it can be proven that a blowjob was the cause of infection. That said, the risk comes from the presence of cum/pre-cum in the oral cavity, which increases the chance of it mixing with open sores, bleeding gums or any other access to the bloodstream.

That said, once the deed is done, NOT swallowing means pushing the cum back to the front of your mouth (where most sores/bleeding gums are), and some of it will remain in your cavity until gargling with mouthwash (not recommended) or whatever. Swallowing means it all goes directly to the back of your throat and then your stomach, where it gets dissolved.

So, while blowjobs are only low-risk and now risk-free, once you're DONE doing it, swallowing is safer than spitting.

 

[KaraBulut]

Actually, from what I've read, there are no recorded cases where it can be proven that a blowjob was the cause of infection.

Apologies for the hijack but I always want to ensure that accurate information is presented in the forums, so here are citations:

Over a decade ago, UCSF identified several cases in the literature of HIV transmission from receptive oral sex (ROS) (i.e. specifically giving a blowjob). Ergo, they amended their safer sex guidelines as follows:

There are a few known cases of people getting HIV from giving oral sex (licking or sucking). There are no known cases of someone getting HIV from receiving oral sex (being licked or sucked). Experts believe that oral sex without protection is less risky than other kinds of sex, but all agree that it is possible to get HIV from giving oral sex to an HIV-infected partner without protection, especially if the HIV-infected partner ejaculates in the mouth. Certain factors, such as the presence of any cuts or sores in the mouth, are thought to increase the riskiness of oral sex.

A more detailed discussion of the cases is here in a 2003 forum with several of the investigators:
http://hivinsite.ucsf.edu/insite?page=pr-rr-05

Related research:
Page-Shafer, et al (1997); Case-control study of risk of HIV seroconversion in MSM who report only ROS
Campo J1, et al (2006); Oral transmission of HIV, reality or fiction? An update.
Gottlieb, Liu , et al (2003); Unprotected oral sex can transmit HIV
Del Romero J et al (2002); Evaluating the risk of HIV transmission through unprotected orogenital sex.

 

[Rolyo85]

I stand corrected.

 

[skinIsIn]

As to the point of your supposed asexuality, but you possessing a high/healthy sex drive and robust masturbatory routine.

Cut back on jacking off! And do not compare real intimacy with highly-edited, over-produced porn you find throughout the Internet.

However, if you cannot use a healthy imagination and must have visual stimulation watch truly amateur porn made by everyday joes you'd most-likely see and meet in your everyday life.

Lastly, do only the things you enjoy the most, in bed.

But what do I know?

 

[Sammael]

The first few times I had sex were also just ok, not really worth going all the trouble of finding someone, preparing before sex etc. But later I've also had some amazing sex. Yes practicing is important but who you're with is also important. Sometimes I thought a guy is very hot, but the sex turned out to be boring. Sometimes I thought the guy is just ok but the sex turned out to be amazing. When I was in your situation, I stayed away from sex some time but later all the desires came back and I tried with other people, and some of them gave me lots of pleasure.

 

[cgymike]

Try to focus on the person first instead of expecting instant lust with all the fireworks. It's probably not him but your expectations letting you down. Anal isn't for everybody anyway and for many isn't the focus of good sex. Sometimes if you know the person before and even discuss what you both like in sex it turns out better. Plus online hookups are pretty sketchy...most there just want a quickie and it sounds like you want more in a way...maybe more than he was willing or able to offer? He's likely already forgotten about you and so should you. It's just a hookup and as you said quite unmemorable.

You may want to consider meeting people other ways. But if you are just looking to hook up go for it.

 

[IamNoah]

loool. I'm not crazy about bottoming either. I find it pleasant I guess. And do it whenever it's requested by my spouse, but...meh

You should try topping. Nothing beats turning a grown man into a begging, pleading, pussy boy. God...

 

[Harker]

Maybe you don't like bottoming. Maybe you don't like swallowing. Maybe you don't like sucking a cock. Maybe you weren't really into the guy you were with, or he wasn't a good lover to your or the right lover for you. Maybe you are asexual or somewhere in between. The only way you will know the answer to any of those questions is to explore your sexuality and see what you like, what you don't; what gets you going and what leaves you indifferent. Have fun and, very importantly, stay safe!