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Just need some advice....

S

swarley

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The thing you don't mention is, do you feel anything sexually towards him? Could you see yourself kissing him or having sex with him? And is this the only guy you notice or could you see yourself having these feelings for other guys?
 
noelie said:
What I find interesting is how you go into detail to describe how you love Joe but Ally just gets a veritable byline in comparison. Was that deliberate?

Sounds like you're at the very least bisexual but possibly gay.

What do you want the answer to be?

That would tell us and you more about the situation.

(*8*)
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I thought the same,

you only mention her slightly and yet to talk much more of Joe. So I think it would be best if you try to identify as best as you can, and that may not be possible yet what you really want. Being bi makes it harder for you as you dont know which way to lean to. As that can cause problems because you get more attached to one or the other yet dont want to let go of the other one.

What you dont say if your g/f knows of your bi side. If you dont want to hurt, cheat, piss off some one. Its a bit late for that. So I guess once you find out what you want then you'll be more comfortable w/your self.

But only you can decide that on your own time and in your own way.


Personally (for me only) I could not cheat on someone that I love.
 
noelie said:
You need to scratch that itch bi-pie - some day - sooner rather than later. I've been there - the longer you leave it the more regrets you'll have and the more frustrated you'll become.


:kiss:
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I was going to say the same---you are young and now is the time to experiment and it's best done before you get serious with anyone male or female---wish I had had the courage to do that when I was your age.
 
If you don't explore yourself at this time then you will wonder for the rest of your life what might have been. I am not saying to cheat on or with someone but before you get serious with someone know what you truly want and need.
 
Well what would you do if he said he felt the same way about you? It is a tough call. What do you want to happen when you tell him?
 
If you love your girlfriend and your girlfriend loves you, then where's the dilemma?

If you're asking whether you should experiment or cheat on your girlfriend, the answer is "No".

If you're asking if you should make a play for your straight best friend, the answer is "No".
 
ok, I guess I have some experience with something remotely similar to this. I'm not openly gay, but I know 100% that I am attracted to men, and never have had thoughts sexually about a woman. Being that I'm not openly gay, it was always hard for me to find relationships because, well obviously I wasn't looking for a relationship with a girl, and guys usually didnt know that I was gay.

Anyway, it turns out one of my very, very good female friends had had a crush on me. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to hurt our relationship, but I wasn't at a point in my life where I could tell my friends that I was gay. Anyway, when I thought about being in a relationship, and possibly spending the rest of my life with this girl, I realized that I could see myself with her... There was no sexual attraction but I loved her attitude, personality, we had the same taste in lots of things.

Well, needless to say, I just put it off for a while until she found someone else. Luckily I have found someone too, and I'm glad I made the decision I did. But in the end, I realized that, even though I am gay, I may have been able to have a relationship with her because we got along so well. IT probably wouldn't have worked out because I couldn't ever see being as compassionate about her as I am with my current boyfriend, and maybe thats what you need to look at. Why are you attracted to each other? Do you have a clue to wether you are gay/straight/bi...

You are a young guy, so you have plenty of time to look into things. I love my best friend, and I am not afraid to say that, but there is no sexual tension between us at all, and there seems to be something between you and Joe.
Sorry I kind of rambled here, but I feel like i know where you are coming from.

In the end, knowing that I was gay, it was an easy decision for me to make. It seems like yours is gonna be quite a bit harder, but I'm sure it will all work out. Good luck, and remember to do whatever makes you happiest, live with no regrets!
 
You're in love with a gay version of your best friend who would be totally cool with you having a thing for him and possibly like to have a relationship with you. Shame that guy doesn't exist.

Stick with your girlfriend for now. Presumably, you'll break up pretty soon, and at that point, you can experiment with a guy. But not Joe.

Lex
 
Well, Jesus, if she's so open about this sort of thing, what's the problem? Keep your eyes peeled for a gay guy you can experiment with, let her know once you find one, and invite her along to watch if she's into that sort of thing. :)

Lex
 
>>>maybe, but she did say that i can only do that if she thinks that guys hot too.. and she don't think Joes hot :'(

At the risk of repeating myself...

Joe is straight.
It is not going to happen with him.

Go find someone else. :)

Lex
 
>>>i know, i know..... but i can't help feelin the way i do can i??

You can't change the way you feel.
But you can change the way you think.
And you can change the way you act.

You can't stop your heart from beating a bit faster when Joe comes in the room, but you can stop thinking about him as a potential boyfriend/bed partner, because it ain't happening. And you can start actively looking for a guy you CAN go to bed with, which will help you stop feeling so gaga over Joe.

Lex
 
one year, 8 and a half months, eh? i think if you can remember that then you're probably gay.

don't push it on your boy. if anything tell him you and your girlfriend are looking to 'open up' your relationship. it may go somewhere interesting.
 
bi-pie said:
just a question... do any of you guys think that someone can actually love more than one person, and if so at the same time???

it's just a thought thats been going through my head...... :/
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Yes, of course. It is definitely possible to love more than one person at one time.
 
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