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  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

just need to get it out.

aaronp

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i've prepared myself for this, or so i thought. falling for someone only to find out they are positive, and being negative i want to maintain that, and knowing how to avoid and prevent contracting. i just thought i'd be stronger when faced with the situation, but i'm not. we fell head over heels, and realized why he tried keeping a distance when he explained his status. and now here i am, cowering , confused, and what ever else you want to describe me as. but nonetheless, im just looking to be yelled at and supported. my emotions are across the board. thanks for reading. really.
 
There are ways you could express affection that would not put you at risk (cuddling, kissing & manual stimulation [provided there are no open sores]). If you know that you could both limit it to that, then it shouldn't be a problem--for now.

I know some people would disagree, but there is no need to stop seeing him altogether.

Just my two cents.
 
Many mixed status couples live happy and satisfying lives together. Talk with this guy and find out what you would be comfortable doing with him.

On the one hand I understand your concern for safety. But as long as you both use condoms and get tested 3-6 months the risk is minimal.

I went through the same thing with my current guy I'm dating (hes neg, I'm pos)
We've both talked with our doctors and assessed the risk.

It's probably difficult for him to get close to you cause of the rejection. I can fully relate to that and sometimes it is very hard to disclose with someone you want to date.

I hope you guys figure out a solution.
 
I agree many positive guys are in long term relationships with guys who are
negative and seem to me to be very much in love .
Though i do understand your take on this as well ,even now i still get surprised
by the amount of stigma that positive people face .
The other poster made some very good points and you have to respect the guy for telling you his status .
Though as i said i truly understand where you are coming from probally the first
thing for you to do is sit down with the guy and explain your fears , i think that it
would be really unfair if you get some unfair responses i think that you have done
a very sensible thing by posting for advice and help . You come across as a decent
guy and i really hope that it works out for you .
In the meantime please accept this (*8*) and i wish you the best fella .
 
thanks guys, it's not that i've necessarily rejected him or he rejected me, it's just that we have kind of passively agreed neither of us is comfortable with the situation. again, thanks for listening and all your kind words.
 
I would take this to experts if I were one of you guys. Sit down with a doctor, nurse or HIV counselor. I think it would be helpful if you both heard the same things at the same time.

Best wishes to you both b
 
Awww, I don't even know you two and I want you to stay together.


As long as his viral count is low and you two are playing it safe it's no more of a risk than any other sexual encounter (Where you don't know the status)

He obviously respected you enough to keep that distance until he was ready to tell you what was going on
(That's a keeper)

I personally would have zero problem being with a guy that is positive

As what others have said just go see a consular/nurse/Doctor preferably together and talk it out.
 
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