Keeping my cool...

[hotlatinchulo348]

Hey guys, here's my problem: I try to move too fast in relationships. I barely started talking to this really amazing guy and I find it so hard not to text him 24/7 haha. Plus i'm so nervous that he isn't as into me as I am into him...it just makes me nervous. And I think it's this nervousness that makes me try to go full throttle with guys and this doesn't ever end up well. How do I stop this madness?!?!?!

 

[rareboy]

It is called 'self-discipline'.

Put the txt machine away.

Be still.

 

[MaxMouse]

I hear ya. It's really hard...the last thing you ever want to do is text someone too much...it blows your cover. and if you want anyone too much, they won't want you anymore. a text to talk about future plans or about something you have in common that he thinks is funny is OK...but beyond that, nope

 

[G-Lexington]

This will simply be a reflexive thing.

"How do I stop texting him?"
"Practice self-control."
"How do I do that?"
"Just stop texting him."

If you have to, create some artificial boundaries. Whatever you think those might be. "I'll only text him four times a day" or "If I respond to his text, I won't start a new topic" or what have you. And then, it'll be up to you to stick with it.

Lex

 

[Monastery]

As you probably know, being told to "don't text him" and "relax" doesn't help much. You've probably told yourself that before.

Get behind the anxiety and deal with it. You might need a therapist or something to do that to help you understand what's really causing the underlying anxiety.

The fear he isn't going to like you and the resulting over-texting is a symptom of something else. Fix that, and you fix the annoying texting habit.

 

[hotlatinchulo348]

Lol. I think you guys missed the point. haha. I would LIKE to text him 24/7 but I rarely text him unless he texts me first. I'm just not used to the other guy NOT texting ME as much. Maybe he's just the first normal guy I have met. haha. I just can't tell if he is into me as much as I am into him...

 

[Eagle653]

I doubt you're going to get a clear reading on his feelings by using "texting" as a barometer. I know a lot of people do--how fast one responds to texts, what they say, how long they are, how often they send them. It's almost becoming a generational litmus test on the health of a relationship--budding or established.

That's sad. One of the reasons texting is a false indicator is that it's so subjective to the user's time, interest, personality, and other distractions. If you are anxious about how he feels about you, make time to actually see him face to face in real-time and three-dimensionally, as old fashioned as that sounds. Spend some time with him and watch him react to you, to others, guage his sense of humor, explore his interests and share yours. Only then will you (and he) know if there's a match or just a false-lead.

Good luck to you. If I might be so bold, can I suggest your next text to him be: When can I see you?

 

[Fishstix]

Lol. I think you guys missed the point. haha. I would LIKE to text him 24/7 but I rarely text him unless he texts me first. I'm just not used to the other guy NOT texting ME as much. Maybe he's just the first normal guy I have met. haha. I just can't tell if he is into me as much as I am into him...

If he's the one who always has to text you first then I have a feeling that he's thinking the same thing as you. You need to start it a few times, it doesn't have to be much or else he might think he's bothering you and you aren't as interested. But texting 24/7 would be too clingy so keep it at the right amount. You don't even have to text that much, just make plans to hang out.