Kind of Down

[hartra34]

OK I'm filling down on myself a little and this seemed like the most accepting gay site of any Ive looked at, first of all I'm sort of big, I'm about 230 pounds and 5'9", well it seems like anytime i meet another gay guy i can be extremely flirtatious or even just talk to him but he always seems to look completely over me, is it me or what, I'm working on losing the weight if that's the issue but even then i fill like i might have just ruined my body through out my child hood and that it'll never ever be good enough.
ill even post some pics of me and see what you guys think:

I mean am I really just that undatable and please be honest.

by the way these pics were taken over the course of 6 months and yes i change my hair often

 

[Seasoned]

Hi and welcome. You have a nice looking face and smile. Most guys get ruled out anytime superficiality enters the picture. With so much porn available I think people are picky with whom they hook with. The more we are different from the current norm the greater the chance of being rejected. I suggest you find gay groups to join and meet people. Match ups are possible with someone who enjoys you for who you are in totality. Hang in there and good luck to you. I like your hair in the first picture the best. Good for you for working on your weight. The health benefits will make it worth the effort.

 

[spencer]

nice pearly whites. meet as many people as you can, keep on putting yourself out there.

 

[giftart]

You look cute. All the best to you!

 

[G-Lexington]

Welcome to JUB! Lemme let you in on a little secret. Plain-looking guys? Non-hotties? Fat guys?

They go on dates.
They get laid.
They get boyfriends.

I'm nothing much to look at. And I'm not kinda big - I'm fat. WiiFit tells me every morning "That's obese!", and I wouldn't be surprised if it started adding "Seriously - get the fuck off me." But still, I've had boyfriends, and gotten laid.

Don't confuse "dateable" with "fuckable". "Fuckable" in this case meaning the hot skinny-but-not-too-skinny guys in the designer clothes. The sort of guy who gets dragged home from parties for a hot night of monkey sex. That's never happened to me. I'm not fuckable in that regard.

But that doesn't mean I'm not dateable. And then, eventually, fuckable. How'd I do it? The boring way. The slow way. Getting to know people. Interacting with them. Clicking on some level. But there's an advantage to doing it the slow way. It seems doing so lays a much better foundation for the relationship, and so there tends to be less drama, less misunderstanding, and more stability to the relationship.

So stay social. When you meet another gay guy, don't work on immediately getting into his pants unless you get some signs that he feels the same way. Just chat with him, and see if you click with him. And do keep your options open. I've run into some other overweight and/or average-looking guys bemoaning their fate about how the hot guys never give them the time of day. Then, if I suggest talking to other average and/or overweight guys, they've gotten pouty and said, "I'm not interested in another fat guy - I want a hot guy!"

Don't be that guy, K?

Lex

 

[rareboy]

Smile often.

Lose the weight until you are at a comfortable size for your height. Exercise.

The fact that you are working on yourself is a good thing.

Be a good listener and use your sense of humour.

You'll be quite datable.

 

[Muscles4daze]

Welcome to JUB! Lemme let you in on a little secret. Plain-looking guys? Non-hotties? Fat guys?

They go on dates.
They get laid.
They get boyfriends.

I'm nothing much to look at. And I'm not kinda big - I'm fat. WiiFit tells me every morning "That's obese!", and I wouldn't be surprised if it started adding "Seriously - get the fuck off me." But still, I've had boyfriends, and gotten laid.

Don't confuse "dateable" with "fuckable". "Fuckable" in this case meaning the hot skinny-but-not-too-skinny guys in the designer clothes. The sort of guy who gets dragged home from parties for a hot night of monkey sex. That's never happened to me. I'm not fuckable in that regard.

But that doesn't mean I'm not dateable. And then, eventually, fuckable. How'd I do it? The boring way. The slow way. Getting to know people. Interacting with them. Clicking on some level. But there's an advantage to doing it the slow way. It seems doing so lays a much better foundation for the relationship, and so there tends to be less drama, less misunderstanding, and more stability to the relationship.

So stay social. When you meet another gay guy, don't work on immediately getting into his pants unless you get some signs that he feels the same way. Just chat with him, and see if you click with him. And do keep your options open. I've run into some other overweight and/or average-looking guys bemoaning their fate about how the hot guys never give them the time of day. Then, if I suggest talking to other average and/or overweight guys, they've gotten pouty and said, "I'm not interested in another fat guy - I want a hot guy!"

Don't be that guy, K?

Lex

I agree with Lex, I say continue to lose weight but do it for yourself and your health, not because you want a boyfriend. You want someone who loves you for you, not cause you have six pack abs.

 

[KaraBulut]

... it seems like anytime i meet another gay guy i can be extremely flirtatious or even just talk to him but he always seems to look completely over me, is it me or what, I'm working on losing the weight if that's the issue but even then i fill like i might have just ruined my body through out my child hood and that it'll never ever be good ....

The past, the past, the past, the past....

The great thing about the past is that it is over. Or it should be over.

If a guy looks at you and judges you solely upon your appearance, he's doing you a favor because he's an asshole and assholes aren't someone that you would ever choose to date.

Instead of focusing upon all of these negatives, focus upon being the guy that you would want to date. That might mean you get in shape (for yourself). Or it may mean that you start working on yourself and believing in yourself.

It's not all about how people look. Yes, you have to bait the hook with something they will want to bite. But if you want to catch them, you have to have the hook, too. And sometimes a nice guy with good values who believes in himself is more likely to be the one that you want to wake with after a night of hotsweatybuttsex.