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Last little while hasn't been goin well for me...

jeffhardylover8472

jeffhardylover8472

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Wish I knew why I never brought this story up, but anyways...

I've known this guy from Montreal for about 2 years now and... well we've been kinda on and off as for talking. I gave him one more chance to prove he could be a nice guy, which he's done well for the last few months.

Just a few days ago, I decided to tell him that I may wanna see him sometime next year and he seemed to be on board with that. Just now, he turned into a complete a** and started bad mouthing me. So I told him that I wasn't giving him another chance. I called it quits with him.

The guy is just a couple years younger than me and he's done that to me in the past. But this time, did I maybe scare him? Does that sound like it's just the way he is? Is it just a temporary thing?

I'm really upset right now, cuz anyone I meet either in person or online is either not worthwhile for me, too far away, taken, or has already had experience in that field.
 
I'm a bit unclear as to what is the central point of your post. It seems as if you have had difficulty in meeting people you find worthwhile. I'm a believer in knowing a lot of people and being close to a few. Different people meet various needs. Someone might be a good movie bud, someone else a nice dinner companion, while still another a good workout partner. There could be sex partners and eventually a boyfriend. I can't tell if you have very high expectations for everyone and expect all friends to be best friends. If you do I'd advise you to examine that issue. Take care.
 
Sounds like he's pretty unstable. I'd just drop him and move on. There are so many more guys you can be with.

Seasoned brings up a good point, as he always does and writes so well. Male friendships are usually based on doing something together. How often have you heard, "My fishing buddy..." or "a golfing buddy of mine..." I think it was Mike Royko who noted this and said that it explains both the space shuttle and blowing up mailboxes. No one person is going to be everything to you.
 
Sorry you are having a rough time. To give much helpful feedback though, it would be great if you could explain a little clearer what is going on. You say he is bad mouthing you? What do you mean by that? Is he telling rumors about you to other people? Or insulting you? Or just being insensitive? And this has happened before? What exactly happened before?

It is true that it is hard to meet nice people, but they are out there. Don't give up.
 
I guess I should've been more clearer...

There have been times he's said I was, like, the hottest thing ever, then the next time we talk, he'd be like "oh you're not my type. i'd never date you." That's been goin on for like 2 years now and I'm sick of it. He either likes me or he doesn't. I don't do head games. So the way I see it, it's 3 strikes you're out... and he blew them all...
 
Sounds like he is keeping you around as a back-up plan. I think you are probably smart to move on. He won't make you happy if he doesn't value you, and there are guys out there who will. It may take time, but you will find them. He doesn't have to hold you back anymore. Best of luck!
 
I told him the next time he gets dumped not to come crying to me, cuz if he does, I'm just sayin "forget it."
 
And now the trick will be to stick to your guns as difficult as that may be. Sometimes getting something seems better than not having anything. If we know it's going to hurt us in the long run and we do it anyway we give a huge mixed message and set ourselves up for a whole lot of eventual anguish. We tempted get your fanny back here and we'll remind you of this post, ok? Take good care of yourself.
 
Tell me if you believe this story or not:

He messaged me on Facebook claiming that he was drunk and he wasn't paying attention to what he was saying. Not only that, but he also said he was just nervous about me wanting to go out to see him.

Now, I feel I can only believe the 2nd half of that story, but does it sound like he wants another chance? Just askin...
 
I don't know how far away from him you live, but form the sound of things it would be at least a hassle if not of a financial investment to go see him. Considering the way he has treated you, the fact that he hasn't properly apologized for his last outburst, and the fact that this sequence of events has happened several time before, I think you would be better off finding another guy to spend your time and money on... someone that treats you with respect. There are people like that out there, they just take some finding.
 
And to answer your question, yes, he probably wants another chance. From the sound of things though, it wouldn't be a second chance though. More like a third or fourth chance. And it sounds like he wants another chance without having to apologize or make any attempts to change his behavior.
 
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