Lazy, Ill-discliped and utterly utterly ashamed of it.

[lunarus]

What does your partner say? Or is he the one you feel kept by?

I too have at one point or another felt utterly useless and completely bored out of my skull. What I do, I'll list it.

Write, I am a writer and I do love to write.
Photography, love that too.
Landscape or upkeep.
Clean indoor or out.
Play a video game I really like.
Have sex, hey can't hurt.
Chat to others in real life or online.
Watch an informative program.
Read.
Think of new stories to write about.
Computer graphics.

Anywho I think you get where I am going with the list. But with all of that there are days I want to do nothing at all.

Try not to fall into 'what society thinks is a valuable person'

And lastly how did you think your life would have been like by now? Hell I thought I would have been well off with everything I wanted...couldn't be further from the truth, and you know what? I really do not fucking care anymore. LOL.

I am sure you are not worthless. But I do understand how we all want to feel like we contribute to society.

 

[lunarus]

Well you could just focus on your education, which seems to be the main thing at the moment.

Can I ask how old you are. You just may be feeling young and restless. What is it you feel like you should be doing?

Does your partner work full time or is he a student also?

I will be the first to tell you it is a bitch sometimes finding your niche in life. But have no fear I am sure you will find yourself and what it is you want to do.

And remember we are the hardest on our selves.

Plus you always have us here on JUB to vent to.

 

[lunarus]

lol you are going to hate me but I need to ask more questions.

How long have you and your partner been together, do you feel like he is somehow holding you back and how is your relationship with him. Does he make you feel worthless? Does he not offer emotional support or encouragement? If that is too personal you needn't answer it.

If you could could you explain how your life was before you started back to school? And why did you started back? Better career opportunity? Do you wish you were more like the college students?

Have you discussed with him(your partner) or others about your desire to work aboard? What type of job are you looking for and where(abroad?)?

Sorry I know, I am asking a lot of questions. I would just like to try to understand your situation a bit better so that I/we here could give you better advice.

My advice thus far:

When we start another chapter in our lives we sometimes wax nostalgia and pine for the days gone by. This can and could be exacerbated by beginning and or maintaining a long term relationship. When we change our home/work/educational surrounding we sometime long for the comfort and or stability we had in the past. I hope I am helping you a little, if not just tel me to shut up, lol.

 

[lyconthrope]

mkay.....I am a tad bit younger than you but I actually went through pretty much the same thing when I was 17.
my doctor tried to prescribe me anti-depressants and change my diet, and when she got to her wits end with me she suggested a therapist.

I hated college so I left, and got a lousy job at a clothes store bored out of my mind every damn day........so I went here

http://www.gvi.co.uk/pages/expeditionDetail.asp?expedition=32

best decision I ever made in my life. have been on a similar trip ever year (sometimes twice a year) since then (its now the basis of my MSC)

I also use this website when I want to work/study someplace else

http://www.traveltree.co.uk/pages/traveltree.asp

it sounds like you have settled into a routine.......and now you hate it, so break it. no need to stop the studying, just take time away in between

 

[lyconthrope]

I punched the last therapist that tried to tell me I was crazy (come to think of thats why I was sent hehe) I can get the same advice and counsel from my friends for free.

oh believe I know how you feel! work days I have to force myself out at bed so that I am not late (despite the fact I actually enjoy my job)
my days off I stay in bed if I have nothing else to do (once stayed in bed till 5pm, just for the hell of it)

hhmmmmm ok, what exactly was it you were working towards before you came to your "grinding halt"? maybe its not a halt......just a small diversion

 

[lyconthrope]

hhmmmm ok, I am gonna try to avoid getting too therapist on you (psych degree, cant be helped) but do you know why you flunked so many times?maybe you just dont like the subject as much as you thought so keep failing because sub-consciously you dont see the point.
can you change courses without leaving the university?

I study from home and have switched my course so many times because the one I was doing wasnt what I hoped for, and now I have changed my future careers plans (yet again ) so the course I am in the middle of is now of very little use to me.

what was the original career plan? has it changed or are you just fed up of studying and not working?

 

[lyconthrope]

hhmmmm I am the same, much better with words than number. I originally started archaeology for the love of it, took me 3 years and a lot of cash to admit I wasnt going anywhere

sorry to say I have no idea how to help with that.

can you switch to another university or will you still lose the apartment that way?

is there nowhere you can train and work at the same time? like an NVQ? or someone that will take you on with the experience you have now?

 

[lyconthrope]

yet one more reason I am glad I study from home.
why wait till after christmas? get the resumes in the post now fella

 

[lyconthrope]

but if you apply now your top of the pile shows your eager