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Little sister's (male) friend wants to visit?

if he comes out shortly after seeing you and his parents disapprove of his sexuality and at the same time, know you are gay, they will have a HUGE problem with it and blame you.

I know this from experience. Not personal, but i've witnessed it.
 
RukkuS said:
if he comes out shortly after seeing you and his parents disapprove of his sexuality and at the same time, know you are gay, they will have a HUGE problem with it and blame you.

I know this from experience. Not personal, but i've witnessed it.
Click to expand...


Don't worry, he's still not planning on coming out for a long time, trust me.
 
So now that things are said and done, I have to say, that if a cute 15 year old found his way into my bedroom at 3am, I'm not going to play possum.

:didisay:
 
I didn't really read the thread much, but it seems like he has this image that, viewing gay people just being cool with being gay in a like a zoo-type way.

Does this not bother you at ALL?
 
ItsJono said:
I didn't really read the thread much, but it seems like he has this image that, viewing gay people just being cool with being gay in a like a zoo-type way.

Does this not bother you at ALL?
Click to expand...

No, for all first impressions are the shit, they give you such a false idea of a person and an idea. Yet you can't get rid of it. Every first impression is a "zoo-like" experience. It is only after we learn more about the person/thing that our awareness expands, we realize its is silly to sterotype and how stupid this logic is "since I seen two cats with black fur coats that must mean all cats have black fur coats."

He needed a first experience even if it was a trip to the zoo. A trip at a zoo is always better than reading a book about a trip to the zoo. The kid will gain more experiences with time.
 
Trip to the zoo??? what the hell are you guys talking about?
 
Adam2299 said:
Trip to the zoo??? what the hell are you guys talking about?
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I think what ItsJono is trying to say is your 15 year old friend probably had stereotypical associations with gay people prior to meeting you this is because he never met any out open gay people near his age and only has the media/reading/hearing other people tell him their opinions of gay people. Those stereotypes are now gone with him meeting you, but at the same time he sorta replaced those stereotypes with new stereotypes.

I am saying this happens whether you want it or not, initially for this is how people process information. The more information he experiences the less stereotypical he will think, the more he realize gays are very pluralistic we have qualities, personalities, and relationships that are as varied as straight people. You can't put us in a box.
 
Congrats Adam. You did good!

I wish I had an experience like that when I was in High School. Instead, I waited another 10 years to come out.
 
Does you sister know he's gay? Does she know you're gay? If so, why not have both of them over for the weekend. It would be a good opportunity for both of them to become more comfortable with gay life.
Rally your roommates and ask them to lay low for one weekend. Explain the situation, and remind them that they were all probably stuggling with their sexual identity at one point in their life and this would be an opportunity for them to help someone who is struggling with coming to terms with his identity. And remind them how nice it would have been to have had people like you to mentor them when they were dealing with these struggles. They may surprise you by being more responsible than you think they are.
And having your sister there would also be a positive influence in acquainting her with the diversity of the gay lifestyle, which she, too, will carry into her own relationships in the future. Knowlege is important for all young people. It makes the world more tolerant one generation at a time.
Make specific plans to take them to cultural type places like museums, etc., a concert or show, or a ballgame. Something that would make it seem like it was the focus of the trip.
And then you could have him ask for parental permission to take this weekend trip. If they were going to leave him home alone...they probably won't have a problem with him and his friend visiting her older brother for a cultural weekend. Then you won't have the worry of them finding out that their minor aged son was hanging with an older man for the weekend without their knowledge. Especially since he is a minor. Be smart here. Honesty is always a smart choice. And you, as the adult, need to show him this path.
Just my thoughts.

In any case, this boy is lucky to have a person like you in his life. You seem like a great guy.

Hope it all works out.
 
I didn't realize that I didn't read the entire thread before commenting and that the weekend had happened already.

In light of this...I'm glad to hear that it went well and repeat that he is lucky to have someone like you as a mentor. Wish I had one at that age.

You sound like a great guy.

Hope all continues to work out.
 
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