little story, need advice and opinions.

[inlovewithblair]

so, i'm still pretty young and have yet to have a serious boyfriend. a couple of months ago, i met this guy. he was really into me and i liked him, too. the only thing was that i knew of his 'bad boy'/'party boy' type of reputation - most people warned me to stay away from him.

he ended up being a complete sweetheart. always texting me 'good morning' and 'goodnight' and 'i miss you, can't wait to see you, you're sleeping over this weekend'. stuff like that.

then a couple weeks ago, i got 'okay, goodnight love you xo'. and he went on vacation during the christmas holidays and he called me from his destination, which obviously costs money and whatnot.

i even told him that i finally have someone to kiss on new years and he wouldn't be here and he misunderstood me. he said, 'you have someone to kiss?'. like he was a little surprised i had someone to kiss...but i reassured him that he was the person i was going to kiss.

and another time he said, 'i miss you' and i said 'thanks', and he said, 'you don't miss me?'.

what i'm trying to get at is that i can't be completely fooled here. like, he's obviously into me, right? are guys complete assholes to the point where they will lead you on this much...for no reason?

best thing is that i haven't had sex with him. thank god i haven't.

 

[Audio Tech]

By the many accounts on this forum, yes, some guys will lead you on until they get what they want.

Just be aware of that possibility as your relationship progresses. Just DON'T let ANYONE talk you into unprotected sex. EVER!

Other than that.... see where it goes.

 

[boynappedjosh]

It seem you still have a good change its just the little things that seems to being being picked up on like like not responding how someone would like you to in a text.

A the kiss think is just new year and many people just kiss friends or who is next to them he should be over that my now

Wishing you all the best he dose sound sweet stick with it for a little longer...

 

[rotary]

most people warned me to stay away from him.

Be cautious and see where things go. You can usually spot the "bad boy" problems pretty easily.

 

[Seasoned]

I will reiterate what others have already said. Play safe no matter what and never let another person control you in any way. Some people like virgins. I hope he wouldn't be a guy that would play you and drop you. I try to trust everyone until I have a reason not to.

Have you spoken to him about his reputation and your concerns because of what you heard? I'd try that tact.

Enjoy the ride. Hope you havefun with it.

 

[jaysizzles]

You've been together for a few months...and he's still around even though you haven't been intimate yet...idk...but it seems that he likes you. If he was just after what was in your pants, he'd probably have bailed a while ago.

Some guys have that exterior bad boy persona...but when they are with someone they really like...they let down their guard and are real.

I'm curious as to the extent of your relationship. Are you both out? Do you go on dates...in public...with friends, etc...or is it all just all private, phone and texting? Does he show the same type of affection in public as he does in private or via phone? Does he seem sincere and does he treat you with respect...or are there red flags that make you question his sincerity...other than what your friends are telling you?

You know a lot more than we do about him...so trust your instincts. Are your instincts questioning his motives and that's why you posted this? Only move forward in this relationship as you are comfortable with.

 

[TX-Beau]

What do you mean by "Bad boy?"

If it's just a reputation for partying, I don't see what the issue is. Young guys like to play, he'll probably grow out of that.

If by "Bad boy," you mean crime, abuse, or a trail of smoldering wreckage, be careful.

 

[rareboy]

Jesus.

How long does it take to actually grab the guy, jam your tongue down his throat and see if there is anything there except for some wan, almost colourless texting and telephone cyber relationship.

Jump in.

Take a chance.

Live.

 

[KaraBulut]

The real question here is whether this thing with your new guy is the real deal, no?

The answer is that we don't know. And unfortunately, you will have to find out over time. And unfortunately, you're going to have to put some skin in the game and take some emotional risks to find out.

Nothing wagered, nothing gained.

Realistically, it's still early and there's still a lot you don't know about him. No one is perfect; the question is whether their good traits outnumber their imperfections.

Just a personal aside: if your friends warn you about someone, it's usually something that you should give some thought to.

 

[inlovewithblair]

What do you mean by "Bad boy?"

If it's just a reputation for partying, I don't see what the issue is. Young guys like to play, he'll probably grow out of that.

If by "Bad boy," you mean crime, abuse, or a trail of smoldering wreckage, be careful.

Mmm, he usually parties from Friday night to Monday morning...Usually gets like, five hours of sleep in between that and frequent to constant drug use.

 

[TX-Beau]

Mmm, he usually parties from Friday night to Monday morning...Usually gets like, five hours of sleep in between that and frequent to constant drug use.

So it's the party thing that people are warning you about?

OK, there are all kinds of drug abuse. I was a major party boy back in college, and even for a few years after. But I always knew when to stop, I didn't fail out of school, I didn't lose a job, or party myself broke every month, and eventually I grew out of it.

So here's how you evaluate this. Is his usage keeping him from being productive? Does he function as a person? Can you deal with it? Is it play? Or is it escape?