loneliness

[irudesan]

I think im getting tired of loneliness...
I know its kind of silly, because ive been alone all my life (never really had a partner) but now i dont know why i feel the urge to be with someone... the hard thing is that ive been thinking about a female friend that i kinda know has a crush with me, but i dont want to hurt her, i mean, ive never thought that im bi, but i dont know if i could give it a try... besides things with men havent been good for me at all.
Dont know what to do

I think it has to do with the fact that im 24, recently moved from my parents house, and living alone. Like alone without talking to anyone but people from work. I d just like to have both worlds, i mean, id just like having a girlfriend, i think i am able to have sex with a woman but i dont know if i could really love her, you know, like romantic love... She d never had a boyfriend before, she has a nice body and everything. But i know that im gay, thats the problem, ive never thought of myself as bi, because ive never really fell in love with a woman.

The only guy i had a "relationship" of 8 months told me that he never told me we were boyfriends and everything, that i was pressuring him, and that he couldnt continue with our relationship and blah blah (just because i told him that id like to define our relationship... of 8 months hanging out, having sex, knowing his family and everything) that was 6 months ago, and i dont really care now...
And then theres that amazing girl that cares about me, i sometimes feel guilty of not being able to, you know, love her in that way. I dont know, im kind of convincing myself lately that i could try...... i know its bad, that it makes me a bad person but... its just...

...that i feel the need to share something with someone that cares about me in my life...

... it no excuse but i spend all day in the hospital, i have those 32 hours shifts like 2 times a week, then come to my apartment, sleep, and then the next day its all about the same. In the hospital i feel good, doing the work talking with patients and everything but then i come home and its all about me again, sometimes i think my life is escaping from my hands, like if im not doing anything with my life besides you know, working and helping other people

Well, ive written enough for today, just needed to get it out of my chest... and i dont have any gay friends... and cant talk to straight friends because they simply dont care or they dnt know im gay...

i need someone to tell me im not a crazy asshole

 

[spencer]

You're not alone. You've had parents around for you for 24 years, you have a girl that fancies you (even though you don't like her that way), but it means that people can fancy you. And if she can, so can any guy. You did have someone for 8 months who didn't want to settle, but that's just because he's the wrong type of guy.

You have to learn to be happy with yourself (alone even) so that people can see how good of a person (and catch) you are.

You're just out on your own, so you're feeling it more than usual. Just don't think you're alone. Think of it as working on yourself. And that person will in turn attract a great person.

 

[kevinsexh8]

Ur not crazy asshole, It's better be alone, people chance their mind, just don't share ur feeling with people

 

[syoBsUtsuJ]

I'd already sent you my Yahoo! Messenger ID and hoped to chat with you privately, but you obviously want everything aired openly, and so be it:

I firmly you to be ...

 

[Centexfarmer]

i need someone to tell me im not a crazy asshole

m'Kay.

You're not a crazy asshole!

From what I read you have a pretty hectic work schedule, and when you're at work you don't have time to brood over your current social situation.

You think that you might be "bi," but me thinks that you're probably on the fence between a possible sure deal, and the unknown, which appears to be what you really want/desire.

You're 24.

What's your rush?

Just relax. Calm down.

A few months from now, a year from now, things will be different.

My advice would be to visualize where; financially, physically, mentally, spiritually where you'd like to be this time next year, and with whom (gender specifically), and start thinking about what you have to do to get there within the next 12 months.

Meanwhile, keep self-reflecting, and doing what you're doing, and just go with it.

Despite (Or to spite!) my best efforts to the contrary, my heart has always shown me the way.

 

[haberfuckingdashery]

don't do this thing with the girl. it sounds good but it's hell!

i fell in love with a girl (emotionally in love) and we were together for 5 years. i loved her and i still do but it's not that kinda love and it proved to be emotional hell for us both. the sex was sex because of the hormones of a 20 something.

stop rushing, find some space and wait expectantly and patiently for something good to come your way.

 

[Stitch627]

You are definitely not a crazy asshole.
Really

 

[Coffee]

hey man there are may guys like you. Me for example.
But don't rush into anything complicated, just wait for the world to change

 

[irudesan]

Thanks for the words guys, yesterday i was a little down... well, sometimes i need to know that im not the "only one" that s gay hehe.

And i started to think that because that girl was specially affectionate yesterday... guess she was ovulating or something (its not sexist it really has to do with it!)

Guess i still have to mature in a lot of things.


Bye!