I went to my therapist a few days ago after almost a month of not seeing him. I'm still taking the antidepressants even though I still don't like how it makes me feel. I felt high on it the first month but lately it just makes me feel restless and lonely. When I didn't take antidepressants, I was perfectly fine being alone. I loved my alone time. I always had my mind to keep me company. I would get depressed when I had to deal with people.
Now, I tend to have these blank thoughts and it just makes me lonely. I told my therapist how I use to always go to the bars and clubs for many years to drink and distract myself. He said it would be a bad idea to do that again right now. He said even using apps again will be too much of a distraction. He said there are certain life things I have to focus on first. So basically I'm just alone now most of the time. At least I started writing again. I stopped writing when I was 22 and came out. I just focused on sex and relationships mostly after that.
Before that, I wrote all through high school. I even won one of those essay contests for Newsweek back then. Anyway, I'll give the antidepressants another few months but it definitely feels lonely.
Now, I tend to have these blank thoughts and it just makes me lonely. I told my therapist how I use to always go to the bars and clubs for many years to drink and distract myself. He said it would be a bad idea to do that again right now. He said even using apps again will be too much of a distraction. He said there are certain life things I have to focus on first. So basically I'm just alone now most of the time. At least I started writing again. I stopped writing when I was 22 and came out. I just focused on sex and relationships mostly after that.
Before that, I wrote all through high school. I even won one of those essay contests for Newsweek back then. Anyway, I'll give the antidepressants another few months but it definitely feels lonely.