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Looking for Advice

crazieguy

crazieguy

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Hi
First of all, I'm new too the board and just from looking around, it seems like a very awesome tight-nit place, and that you guys have a lof fun.
So let me just get the greetings and salutations out of the way. :-)

I am 20 years old, starting my junior year of college.
Up until the last year or so, I never really "questioned" my sexuality at all.
But as you know, growing up getting older, and going to college, you get into the 'party scene' and I did that quite a bit. And at one of these parties I ended up making out with a really good guy friend who " wanted to show me what it was like to be frenched by another guy." (He's not curious at all, and there's very little that I don't know about him - and he definitely didn't know that I was curious so, it was kind of a random thing.)
Anyways, a few weeks later (again, at a party), the same thing ended up happening. We ended up making out.
Now, as you can imagine; This is where the dilemma begins to unfold, my questions begins to arise, if you will.

It wasn't until something like that happened that I began to really think that I "could" be gay, you know.
So it's been on and off my mind for the past year or so.
Here's the thing. I enjoyed the kiss(es). I wasn't repulsed or grossed out by them, but I enjoyed them.

And with my best friends who are all straight/macho-type, we'll just goof around and sometimes when we get hyper or whatever, we start fighting or wrestling. And used to, that didn't really bother me, and it doesn't now, it's just that, I put so much more thought into things like that now; sometimes it feels awkward, lol.

I notice myself observing guys more than I did in the past - like just out and about.

Idk, its confusing.
It's like I don't know if I have mustered it up in me to tell myself that I am or could be or whatever.

Just really weird feelings over in my neck of the woods :(

Has anyone experienced anything like this ?
Comments/ tips are GREATLY appreciated.

I feel so good to finally get this out somewhere - its not exactly the kind of the thing for I'd write on MySpace or something. Just a therapeutic sort of thing.

Soo, blah blah blah that's it.
I'm done. Thanks for reading, whoever.

:D
 
Hey crazieguy

Welcome to JUB. I'm glad you found us and thanks for posting

While I can't relate to what you've describe I know the guys who frequent this forum will provide you with lots of insight and advice
 
Hi and welcome to JUB. :wave:

My advise would just be give it time and start to accept this yourself first and take it from there. Posting here and sticking around will give you some initial contact with the gay world, if you like, and then you can decide what you want to do and proceed as quickly or slowly as you want.

Self acceptance and coming to terms you are gay, is a very important step, but it is an individual process and everyone is different in terms of speed and age, you will see here some guys who have accepted and known they were gay from 10 years old and others who have had to wait till they are 50+ to come to terms with it. So don't worry, take your time, question your sexuality, and see where the thought process leads.

Take care.
 
I think you're sexuality is just opening itself up to exploration. Have you previously had a generally strong appetite for the opposite sex? if yes, you might just be curious or bi. If not, then maybe you're starting to discover your sexuality. Regardless of whether or not you're curious, bi, or gay, it's all good. Just go with the flow and don't let it stress you out. The worst thing you can do is overthink what should come natural to you.
 
Appreciate the feedback so, far everyone - it means alot.

I can already tell I have surrounded myself in good company :) :)
 
Not really confusing at all friend. Don't make it harder than it really is. :D
Not all guys at the age of 20 know what their sexuality is, hell man.... it could be a while till you finally decide. But don't try to hide or bury anything inside. Just go with the flow.
I knew at 15 that I was attracted to guys. You seem uncertain though. The best thing I can say to you is don't stress on it. Date girls if you want, just don't propose marriage until you are sure. And don't let your 'macho' friends or your family make you don anything that you are not sure you want to do.
You are a nice looking young man my friend and I think you are sincerely introspective. Good for you. :D:D:=D:
I wish you the best of luck in the future. You seem to be a very good guy and will no doubt be successful in whichever route you take in life. That I'm sure of.
A friend,
tony
 
Welcome, CB! Certainly nothing wrong with not knowing your sexuality yet. I didn't even get an inkling until I was 20, and didn't come out until I was 22. If anyone asks, and you feel comfortable answering something besides "None of your business" (it isn't), you can say, "I haven't quite worked it out yet." Until then, just keep your options open. Keep your eyes open for guys AND girls. When you masturbate, try not to force your fantasies any particular way - let your brain go where it wants - men, women, whatever. Eventually, you'll get a better idea.

Quick sidenote. I've never known any of my straight friends to make out with other straight friends "to show each other what it's like". Maybe my friends are more uptight than yours are, though.

Lex
 
The kissing is a pretty strong indicator. Most guys - given the right context - drunkeness, horniness, secrecy etc - will get sexual with another guy, but it's unusual for kissing to form part of that scenario.

This is because the kissing, being more intimate and literally in-your-face, is more likely to stimulate homophobia. In short, you can fuck or jack with another man cos it's just a couple of horny dudes getting their rocks off, but if you kiss it has to mean you're a fairy fag.
 
Thanks again everyone. Much appreciatred. :D
And thank you, tonyboy, for the compliment :-p
 
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