losing erection during sex

[blahman16]

Hi, I am 22 years old and I have no trouble getting an erection during masturbation or foreplay. I can get really hard. However during sex I cannot maintain a really hard erection as I do during foreplay and masturbation. At some point I feel getting softer. Also sex does not feel very stimulating to my penis. I feel that I would never reach an orgasm no matter how long I continue. Partner seems to be enjoying it though. And if I attempt to stop, to change position or because penis was accidentally removed my erection is easily lost and without removing the condom it is hard to get it back.

I am really confused cause I know there is nothing wrong with me physically and mentally. I am a relaxed type of guy. no worries. i enjoy my life. I dont understand this.

Any advice and help is welcomed.

Thank you!

 

[kevbo]

How often do you masturbate?

 

[soulseeker]

I think it could be you masturbate to porn a bit much. It can desensitize you. Lay it off for a three days and see how it goes. Try masturbating to the image of the guy you're seeing. Might help. Nothing wrong with you. Just you're brain requires different stimuli to get an erection.

 

[Seasoned]

Try masturbating less especially before you know you'll be seeing someone. You could also try masturbating differently, other hand, fucking your own thighs, fleshlight, with a condom, etc.

 

[KaraBulut]

Moving this to H&W...

 

[KaraBulut]

Up in the top of the H&W forum there's a sticky titled "All About Penis" that has a section called "The Hard and the Soft of It" that has some earlier threads about staying hard during sex.

From your post, it sounds like you're topping your boyfriend?

When you masturbate, what position are you masturbating in- are you always laying on your back or are you standing?

Do you lose your erection with your boyfriend in all positions or just in certain positions?

 

[alibihh]

I also suffer from the same problem - it has been haunting me since my first sexual encounter and i basically have never been able to cum while fucking someone or during oral sex. It seems curious that you posted this just now - was thinking about starting a similar thread (i sometimes think more about it and at the moment it is bothering me very much).

I have thought a lot about this problem in the past and over the past years i have tried several things - none of which worked. So, before everyone blames it on masturbation or porn -> that's not always the problem (sorry, but i have heard these arguments way too often)

That said, there is of course the possibility of vigorous masturbation and excessive porn consumption which can have an impact on sensitivity and your ability to "perform". I would recommend reading "Elusive Release" by "Dan Savage" - sorry, can't post links - and doing some research in that field. If you want, you can try cutting down on masturbation, using a fleshlight or anything else that you find helpful (but i wouldn't be too optimistic).

So, what to do when this doesn't help (as in my case)? Unfortunately there is no miraculous wonder-cure or a cream that can help. While you can get your hormone-levels checked out and should also visit an urologist (just to be sure) - it's more likely than not that you are one of the unfortunate ones who have a somewhat insensitive penis (sometimes made worse by a circumcision).

If you want to talk (i can also send you a few articles on this and related topics) - just drop me a line.

 

[saymyname]

Happens to me too, sometimes. Not with a steady partner, though... just randoms. I always thought it was nerves. I agree, masturbate less. Try taking it a bit slower - let your body enjoy itself.

 

[milboy]

Maybe you're really a bottom instead of a top? That's the same reason why I'm a bottom...and I love bottoming.