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Lost in thought

U

Unconditionallover

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Hi guys not sure if I'm after help or what but your welcome to try help me.
Thing is I've been with my bf for over 6 years and he means the world to me but I don't know where I stand he has cheated in the past and said he wouldn't do it again I can't prove it but I think the whole time we have been together he has been seeing other guys just little things I pick up thing is I don't know what bothers me the most that he cheats on me or lies I'm a pretty open guy and don't think it would be a problem for him to see other guys as long as we discussed it and he didn't hide if from me I want to know that I'm safe from STD's and it only for the sex or thrill and nothing more I guess really the thing that's bothering me most of all is I love sex and he isn't all that interested in doing what I want to do and I have been considering seeing other guys but don't think I could cheat because I'm happy with my bf I just wish things where different would it be wrong of me to cheat ?
 
I would either confront him about the cheating, leave him, or accept that things aren't going to change.

Can you tell us about what is good in the relationship?
 
Yeah tryed confronting him it just caused issues for me he just got angry about it all leaving him I don't think I can do it's something I guess I just have to live with the not knowing what's going on and how he really feels towards me is doing my head in and it's all because of love to answer whats in it for me well he is my everything I worship the ground he walks on when I'm down and noone can make me smile he can when something is bothering me he knows and try's to help I don't know what else to say besides he is my world and I love him I'm just lost and confused I don't know what to think
 
Yeah you could be right I figure someone looking in from the out side might have some ideas don't know if it makes any difference but he is the only guy I've been with befor him I was "straight" lol been with a few chicks maybe I'm just blind because of love I don't know
 
Unconditionallover said:
Yeah you could be right I figure someone looking in from the out side might have some ideas don't know if it makes any difference but he is the only guy I've been with befor him I was "straight" lol been with a few chicks maybe I'm just blind because of love I don't know
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Yes, I think you're blinded by love.

A lot of times we build our first loves up to more than who he or she really is.

He may have great qualities, but there's no reason to put up with cheating (if he really is cheating) when you can find someone with his great qualities who is faithful.
 
Unconditionallover said:
...I don't know where I stand...
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Unconditionallover said:
.... he has cheated...
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Unconditionallover said:
....I think the whole time we have been together he has been seeing other guys...
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Unconditionallover said:
...he isn't all that interested in doing what I want to do...
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Unconditionallover said:
...I'm happy with my bf...
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One of these things is not like the other. It's what would be considered cognitive dissonance.

Underlying all this is that you're not getting what you want/need from this relationship and you don't trust him. And you're working really hard to believe you're happy with him and happy with your relationship with him.

Sorry, love isn't enough. It's a hard lesson to learn but loving someone doesn't mean that a relationship will work or should work. The point of a relationship is that both parties put something in and both parties take something out. In your case, what you're getting out is not what you want, you're not satisfied with the relationship and that makes you think that your boyfriend is seeing someone else.

It's not about his cheating. It's about your dissatisfaction with the status quo.

It's up to you to decide whether you want to stick with this and make it work. Or whether you want to go find someone else who can provide the things you need from a relationship. Like sex. Like fidelity. Like certainty. Like trust. Like happiness.
 
Well my friend, the best way to sort this out is to only practice the safest of sex until he can prove to you that he is trustworthy.

If he can't or won't prove himself then you know where you stand.

Oh and by the way, start looking for a new boyfriend unless he sorts himself out real quick.

Yeah, there has definitely gotta be consequences for his actions and or attitude.
 
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