GayBoiJared
Slut
Well, I was thinking today that life goes by so quickly, I mean today is the last day of March 2006, already! I have been putting off finding a boyfriend cause of what my family will think if they suspect something or find out, but time isn't waiting for me, a quarter of the year has gone by already and I can't even remember where it went.
I have also realised that before I can move forward and find someone new to love, I need to close a chapter of my life that happened about 5 years ago, when my best friend and I fell for one another.
I had been in love with him for months, and I always thought to myself that he would never love me back, well, until he did. It is a long story, so I am not going to repeat it, but basically we ended up together, and 3 days into our new relationship, I was the happiest person in the world, I will never forget that feeling, it is indescribable. Every moment is wonderful, you just wanna shout out loud. And just as quickly as it happened, it went away. On the 3rd day of us being together, I was sitting next to him on the couch, and we were kissing and cuddling, when his younger brother came home, so we stopped when we heard him come in. A little while later his brother asked if there was something going on between my best friend and I, cause we were all weird around each other. And that is when the guy that I loved more than anything else in the whole world told me that what we were doing is a sin, and we couldn't see each other anymore. Well, I was absolutely distraught. I had gone from the happiest person to the saddest in a matter of days. We grew apart after that and shortly afterwards, his family left town, and I haven't spoken to him since. It has been 4 years, and I still think about him everyday. Wondering if he ever loved me like I loved him, and what would have happened had his brother never suspected anything.
So I need to phone him, and just ask him, "Did you love me? Was it just fear that seperated you from me, or were you just experimenting and then decided you didn't like it?". I have his new home number, got it from the phone directory in the city where he lives now.
I need to do it, it might be weird for him hearing from me after all these years, but I need to ask him. I just don't know what I'll do if he says he never loved me like that.
So now I just need to pluck up the courage to do it. I have to get some closure, and move on with my life.
I know it probably seems a little weird, considering I was 15 then and am 19 now, but I still love him. And I need to know why he left me, then I can start moving on.
J.
I have also realised that before I can move forward and find someone new to love, I need to close a chapter of my life that happened about 5 years ago, when my best friend and I fell for one another.
I had been in love with him for months, and I always thought to myself that he would never love me back, well, until he did. It is a long story, so I am not going to repeat it, but basically we ended up together, and 3 days into our new relationship, I was the happiest person in the world, I will never forget that feeling, it is indescribable. Every moment is wonderful, you just wanna shout out loud. And just as quickly as it happened, it went away. On the 3rd day of us being together, I was sitting next to him on the couch, and we were kissing and cuddling, when his younger brother came home, so we stopped when we heard him come in. A little while later his brother asked if there was something going on between my best friend and I, cause we were all weird around each other. And that is when the guy that I loved more than anything else in the whole world told me that what we were doing is a sin, and we couldn't see each other anymore. Well, I was absolutely distraught. I had gone from the happiest person to the saddest in a matter of days. We grew apart after that and shortly afterwards, his family left town, and I haven't spoken to him since. It has been 4 years, and I still think about him everyday. Wondering if he ever loved me like I loved him, and what would have happened had his brother never suspected anything.
So I need to phone him, and just ask him, "Did you love me? Was it just fear that seperated you from me, or were you just experimenting and then decided you didn't like it?". I have his new home number, got it from the phone directory in the city where he lives now.
I need to do it, it might be weird for him hearing from me after all these years, but I need to ask him. I just don't know what I'll do if he says he never loved me like that.
So now I just need to pluck up the courage to do it. I have to get some closure, and move on with my life.
I know it probably seems a little weird, considering I was 15 then and am 19 now, but I still love him. And I need to know why he left me, then I can start moving on.
J.