Many U.S. gays struggle to adopt

[MidnightPrism]

When Richard Smith and Rob Tan decided to adopt a child, the San Francisco couple looked to Guatemala rather than battle a U.S. system that gay-rights advocates say discriminates against same-sex couples.

And even then, Smith and Tan had to hide their sexual preference to adopt a child.

Adoption is an arduous process for all prospective parents but same-sex couples say it is even tougher for them. Some are forced to lie about who they are. Others are only allowed to adopt older or troubled children who are hard to place.

(c) Reuters 2006

monstersandcritics.com/

A lot more to the story just clicky the link

 

[Andreus]

new england is a good place for gay men to adopt children from.

the middle of america.. notsomuch

 

[mexamor]

I find it sad that we spend so much time (I guess I should say our culture) worrying about peoples sexual orientation. I see people on the debate of marriage etc. and they are more worried about some political stance rather than the matter at hand.

I find the same to be true of adoption. When you look around you and you see the kinds of one man one wife couples who have children and the sheer and absolute misery that the children live under, I find it negligent that we don't do something for these kids. Why does it matter if two guys who love each other and love thier children want to adopt? Even if there where some drawback socially for the children, which I do not believe there is, I think that a health loving home far exceedes any other negative. But, that's just me, I like kids and like to see them happy.

 

[mexamor]

I forgot to mention that if you are not looking for blond blue eyed jr. it is alot easier to adopt. Minority children really need homes.

 

[Andreus]

i think gay adoptions have, to a degree, reinforced gay marriage validity.

i think gay marriage will definitely make adoption easier

and i think the two issues combined are at the heart of the push by the repubs to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman.

 

[looseliam]

I forgot to mention that if you are not looking for blond blue eyed jr. it is alot easier to adopt. Minority children really need homes.

All children need a home!

Give these kids a chance for a family.

Whilst I don't have a problem with foreign adoption, we've plenty of young ones here who need a nice home.

Here's all I think should matter in an adoption:
-Will the child be loved in a loving family?
-Will the child have all the opportunities he deserves?
-Are the parents able to provide a safe household for the child?

And that's about it.

BTW, I plan do adopt when the time comes.

 

[mexamor]

Oh, I meant here in the US, we have plenty of needy children who need a home, you don't have to go to Guatemala to find them. But we have lots of barriers for everyone not just gay couples.

 

[looseliam]

Oh I knew what you were talking about. I just wanted to reiterate it.

 

[Lube]

I feel that every child deserves a traditional mother/father family. For two reasons...first being any child w/ 2 moms or 2 dads will go through hell growing up being tormented by socitey. And last, they need a so-called "normal" family so should they turn out gay, society cannot blame homosexual parenting as the cause. Just my 2 cents!

-

Those are interesting points, but debatable in validity IMHO.

Children are tormented for lots of reasons: poor parents, ugly parents, ugly siblings, slutty parents, slutty siblings, wrong hairstyle, wrong jeans, wrong sneakers, parents with odd jobs, parents with ugly car, etc. etc.

Also, it's becoming clearer and clearer that homosexuality is at least partly--if not completely--biological/genetic in basis. So parenting has little if anything to do with it.

 

[screwnutty]

This is a very interesting thread! Very thought provoking. Me....I'm Canadian. Got me to thinking how the adoption service works here in Canada. With Gay Marriage being legal up here (it's been what 1....1 1/2 years so far?) I wonder how things like this work? Anybody know what Canada's stance on Gay parents Adopting children?

 

[glo-unit]

I feel that every child deserves a traditional mother/father family. For two reasons...first being any child w/ 2 moms or 2 dads will go through hell growing up being tormented by socitey. And last, they need a so-called "normal" family so should they turn out gay, society cannot blame homosexual parenting as the cause. Just my 2 cents!

-

In a perfect world, but some kids have no chance at a traditional family, and if a child's only chance for a family is with a gay couple that some people will look down upon then fuck. To many children are fucked up beyond repair because they got lost in the system and had no one to genuinely love them. Would it be nice if every child could be raised by the perfect traditional family, yes. But that is never going to happen and it is better for a child to be loved in a nontraditional family than fucked up beyond repair because they had no-one.

Ps. Sorry if I sound angry I just get really passionate about this.

 

[Roland00]

In a perfect world, but some kids have no chance at a traditional family, and if a child's only chance for a family is with a gay couple that some people will look down upon then fuck. To many children are fucked up beyond repair because they got lost in the system and had no one to genuinely love them. Would it be nice if every child could be raised by the perfect traditional family, yes. But that is never going to happen and it is better for a child to be loved in a nontraditional family than fucked up beyond repair because they had no-one.

Well said, I was trying to look for the words that you found. You have my sentiments exactly.

 

[tbonez]

... Got me to thinking how the adoption service works here in Canada. With Gay Marriage being legal up here (it's been what 1....1 1/2 years so far?) I wonder how things like this work? Anybody know what Canada's stance on Gay parents Adopting children?

From a purely legal standpoint it is forbidden to discriminate based on sexual orientation when it comes to adoption. In reality I'm sure it could be an issues depending on which agency you are dealing with and where you live. (very rural vs. urban)

I have met several gay couples who have adopted kids. The determining factors are things like stability of parents' relationships, how long they have been together, their housing situation, economic stability, commitment...

There is a 'points system' and couples ( individuals too BTW) are assessed by pretty strict criteria. That does tend to eliminate much room for discrimination. The rules for adoption actually pre-date the same-sex marriage reforms by some years.

There are tons or reputable studies that show that same-sex couples are no more likely to have gay kids than straight couples...Just fewer that end up closeted screw-ups. In most areas same-sex couples' kids actually end up better adjusted that your average kids because there are no "accidents". Every child of a gay couple is a planned blessing and never an unwelcome surprise or a bastard.

 

[Oden_grey]

You know what I dislike the most about my Christian brethren? The fact that so many of them would rather children float through the system their entire young lives than be in a good, loving gay home. For the amount of times they talk of "family values" I don't see them picking up the slack en-mass to get orphaned kids into Christian homes! If they want to prevent gays from adopting because of our so-called "deviant and sinful lifestyles" they should simply but the Bible where their mouths are and make sure that they find these kids good places to live.

That, however, is an idealistic concept... I think some Christians are even more hateful, prejudiced and bigoted than the Godless. Yet, you see them in Church every Sunday thanking God for their assured places in Heaven... a sight like that is beyond sickening!

 

[wentworth]

Oh, I meant here in the US, we have plenty of needy children who need a home, you don't have to go to Guatemala to find them. But we have lots of barriers for everyone not just gay couples.

Well, you got that right. Adoption at home is a million more times expensive than adopting abroad--plane tickets and all.
I think we need to make adoption easier, and promote it.
And yes, those looking for blondes should re-evaluate.