Married to a woman but gay

[GayGHOF]

For years as swingers we met bisexual men but I always seemed to enjoy sex with a man a lot more then they did. Over time my desire for men increased as my desire for women decreased significantly until I finally came-out. Now my wife and I share men. Bi men seemed to like that I am gay. Any other married men realize that they are gay?

 

[Seasoned]

I realized it 36 years ago and left that marriage and have been with my husband 34 years.

 

[GayGHOF]

I realized it 36 years ago and left that marriage and have been with my husband 34 years.

We have an unusual relationship in that we wanted to keep all the aspects of our family life and found that sharing a bisexual boyfriend fulfills our respective sexual needs.

 

[shaunisaac]

I think you should fully accept yourself and get over with your marriage. Sharing partners will create problems in future

 

[SeaCore]

It sounds to me like they have fully accepted themselves.
Granted, it's certainly an atypical relationship but if their needs are being met, everyone is being honest about what they want, then I don't see a problem. There are polyamorous partnerships that make it through the long-haul.

What are some of the problems you foresee? Maybe GHOF can preempt some of those issues or already has addressed them?

 

[GayGHOF]

It sounds to me like they have fully accepted themselves.
Granted, it's certainly an atypical relationship but if their needs are being met, everyone is being honest about what they want, then I don't see a problem. There are polyamorous partnerships that make it through the long-haul.

What are some of the problems you foresee? Maybe GHOF can preempt some of those issues or already has addressed them?

We have been married 48 years, and we started sharing men 46 years ago. For both of us, sex and love are very different; plus we thoroughly enjoy watching each other having sexual pleasure. Although most of our marriage I thought of myself as bisexual with a preference for men, coming out as gay, brought us even closer. My wife has always felt a special bond with gay men.

For years I felt I had to be that masculine, macho man. Although I still maintain that persona with family who do not know of our lifestyle, coming out freed me to truly express myself. Now we watch chick flicks together, cry together, go shopping, check out guys together, and when we share a man I can be openly gay and she loves seeing me be who I really am. We both love sex with a well-hung strong top who takes us as he sluts, but after our orgasms, we snuggle with each other. We do love each other and are best friends too.

 

[Seasoned]

You seemed to have found a soulmate and don't really need anyone else's validation. Humans run the spectrum. Sex is a right, a need, and a want for most people. You didn't invent how you are living your life and even if you don't find anyone with the exact same story live your life with gratitude and joy.

 

[GayGHOF]

You seemed to have found a soulmate and don't really need anyone else's validation. Humans run the spectrum. Sex is a right, a need, and a want for most people. You didn't invent how you are living your life and even if you don't find anyone with the exact same story live your life with gratitude and joy.

Neither my wife nor I would be happy in a traditional marriage.

 

[Seasoned]

Exactly! Best wishes!

 

[coesiv]

I was married to a woman some years ago and she used dildos and strapons on me and she loved that as much as I did back then... She was the one who started the whole butt sex thing... Maybe because she realized I'm efeminate, maybe. Before that I had sex only once with a transex but never with a top gay man.

But as time passed I felt that I needed something more realistic than plastic toys. So after 30 something years I came out of the closet first to my mom, who said I was high on drugs... (and that's true!)

I never came to a conclusion if I am gay or bi or WHAT else hahahah... The only thing I know is that being penetrated is way better for me than to penetrate and that's fine by me. I dont need to label myself, I just gotta enjoy sex and luv!


So today I'm 39 y/o and with a foot in the closet and the other out! But nowadays I enjoy being bottom and gay. Most people must have noticed that I'm more gay than usual lately and I enjoy it.

It makes me horny!

Someone plz help me hahahha

 

[GayGHOF]

I was married to a woman some years ago and she used dildos and strapons on me and he loved that as much as I did back then... She was the one who started the whole butt sex thing... Maybe because she realized I'm efeminate, maybe. Before that I had sex only once with a transex but never with a top gay man.

But as time passed I felt that I needed something more realistic than plastic toys. So after 30 something years I came out of the closet first to my mom, who said I was high on drugs... (and that's true!)

I never came to a conclusion if I am gay or bi or WHAT else hahahah... The only thing I know is that being penetrated is way better for me than to penetrate and that's fine by me. I dont need to label myself, I just gotta enjoy sex and luv!


So today I'm 39 y/o and with a foot in the closet and the other out! But nowadays I enjoy being bottom and gay. Most people must have noticed that I'm more gay than usual lately and I enjoy it.

It makes me horny!

Someone plz help me hahahha

I can relate. My wife fucked me with a strapon much more often then I could ever fuck her, back in the days when I actually could. It was obvious early on that other men could please better then I could, and also obvious that the men turned me on more.

The aspect that kept us together is that neither of us feel an emotional connection to any of those men. We both love aggressive, somewhat dominant, top type guys, but once the sex was over, we showed them the door and we snuggled with each other.

 

[wilecoyote]

I've known a M/F couple for many years who've confided in me about sex, as I have with them. I had a feeling he was bisexual. When they told me he was gay I joked why didn't he ever ask me to fuck him. But we laughed and have always been platonic close friends.
They love each other, but she knows he enjoys sex with men. She's adventurous, so MMF is acceptable.
Ignore labels
Whatever makes a trusting couple happy, I say be happy.

 

[GayGHOF]

I've known a M/F couple for many years who've confided in me about sex, as I have with them. I had a feeling he was bisexual. When they told me he was gay I joked why didn't he ever ask me to fuck him. But we laughed and have always been platonic close friends.
They love each other, but she knows he enjoys sex with men. She's adventurous, so MMF is acceptable.
Ignore labels
Whatever makes a trusting couple happy, I say be happy.

You last sentence says it all!!!

 

[Pierresro]

When I was 31 a supervisor in a financial institution I hired a new employee a hot Hispanic 21. A few months later both of us working overtime on a Saturday I drove him home. I was a closet case married with two kids. He sucked me off 2 months later I came out ot my wife and divorced her still close wit my sons ad friendly with my ex wife not easy but it works.

 

[GayGHOF]

When I was 31 a supervisor in a financial institution I hired a new employee a hot Hispanic 21. A few months later both of us working overtime on a Saturday I drove him home. I was a closet case married with two kids. He sucked me off 2 months later I came out ot my wife and divorced her still close wit my sons ad friendly with my ex wife not easy but it works.

I think there are a lot of married men who hunger for other men.

 

[thewiz]

I was married and lived in the closet for 20 years. Most freeing three words I ever uttered: "I am gay!" We divorced and I later married a man who passed away May 2016. I remain very close to my two kids from my wife, have three beautiful granddaughters and am cordial with the ex. (My ex is not as close to the kids)