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May/December romance!!!

Danugh

Danugh

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Well my cut off for men is 35. But last week at the gym i met this guy and his body was ripped, so sexy and his penis was so huge. We got to talking and ended up having tea after.

Everything was going great until he tells me he is 51. I was in shock. He looks 30 maybe even in his late 20's. I asked for some proof. He showed me his ID and it was confirmed.

Now i am conflicted. My cut off is 35, so we can you know build a life together. But by the time our kids are all in college he will be 75.

So i dont know what to do? Do i just keep him as a friend, or give love a chance?
 
I'm assuming that you are in your 20s? You don't mention it in your post. I'm new here, so forgive me if that's common knowledge around here. #-o

I cant say that I blame you for being concerned about a 20 plus year age gap if that's the case. How about being friends with benefits? Then you can be his friend and have sex with him and still be on the look out for someone your own age to start a family with.
 
First, I'd say it's generally not a good idea to have hard numeric cutoffs. This situation clearly illustrates that somebody can unexpectedly come along and shatter your standards. Also, you just met this guy... No reason to start thinking about having kids together and 30 years down the line. If you enjoy the guy's company, see what will happen. Things have a way of working out.
 
well im 22, an my cut off is about 25ish, dnt know why, guess for one im only attracted to guys around my age. but i can understand wot newboy12 is saying, if i was going to be with someone for the future then id rather they were close to my age, not to say that older men arent worth it, just would be better to grow old with someone whos closer to ur own age.

Sam x
 
Who says you have to go after a long term relationship? Give him a chance to show you what he can do in and out of bed. The relationship thing may not work out but he may be a great fuck buddy. Don't let age hold you back. If it shows signs of becoming a LTR, only then should you stop and worry about the age difference. Remember, your advice: Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it.
 
Just give him a chance. If you guys get really serious, then you can bring up your concerns and he should be able to understand them. By then, you can be better able to tell if the fear of his age or the love you have for him is greater.
 
You just met at a gym and went for tea, and now your talking of life long relationships with kids?? Did I miss something here??
 
You're willing to go over your cutoff age because of physical attraction? I'm sure you had good reasons to make your cutoff age 35 (or maybe you just thought nobody over 35 could possibly be attractive and you're just in it for the sex.)

Get to know him better before getting involved. And then if you find yourself attracted to him as a whole (not just his bod) then persue it.
 
Just1Cool said:
I can't say that I blame you for being concerned about a 20 plus year age gap if that's the case. How about being friends with benefits? Then you can be his friend and have sex with him and still be on the look out for someone your own age to start a family with.
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I just had a talk with him.

Friends with benefits is not on the table because he says he has done his fair share of that in his lifetime and its high time he settled down with someone.

In the end we decided to just be friends and i am ok with it. He is a good guy.
 
Well, 35 is either a deal-breaker or it's not. Only you can decide if you're negotiable on this. If he meets all your other requirements then I suggest a re-think is appropriate. After all, you thought he was 30. Chronological age is just a number, physiological age is a completely different kettle of fish.

You have the bullet-proof arrogance of youth - there is no guarantee that you'll still be alive tomorrow. What's going to happen when you're 50 and single? Will 35 still be your cut off point?

If you keep your eye too firmly fixed on the distant view you can miss exciting opportunities on either side. or as John Lennon put it - Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
 
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