A thought:
* age does not matter, but the issues that may come up do.
hmm read my thread if you like. I'm on the other end, but a word of caution: what you have sounds and may be different:
http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=158308
In my case at first I just wanted to stay friends with the older guy, not lovers. I communicated this over and over again, but it was in one ear and out the other for him, and somehow eventually we got together.
Now I feel I'm tired, depressed and it may not be connected to the relationship entirely, so don't go by me but go by the thought above (next to the bullet-point).
One issue my partner had to deal with is not to be like my dad. He took control over that with the help of counseling, and he is not my dad, we are "equal" as equal as we can be, but there were some issues, like:
* he cannot relate to my problems or issues. Something that's big for me is small or not an issue for him. Through life experiences he's been through some rough stuff, so when a problem comes up for me, I can't go to him an expect him to relate. He just pushes it back on me and and that's frustrating. He tried to relate more sometimes and when he does, I go "wow what happened to you ?? You are so nice all of a sudden" but then he's back to not relating again as it's not in him. He says go talk to someone else.
* he is more experienced than me and I can get a lot of answers quickly where normally I would have to figure things out by myself. Can be good and bad thing, depending on how you look at it. i.e. I get answers quickly but then I don't learn them by myself. So I tend to have a lot of theory but lack of practice.
* I feel he took my youth and younger years without letting me have a chance to go on the prowl. And I want to go on the prowl. It could be a sign of our relationship have gone sour, but it has been an issue for me all throghout the relationship, expressed by me as "I got together with you too quickly, I have not had a chance to play with the boys". He wants to keep me to himself of course and settle down and I feel regrets and not having played with more boys, boys my age or so. If he'd let me and push me to play and get that out of my system, maybe things would be different now. (I don't know if I'd still be with him though, but why not I guess)
* There were times when I felt uncomfortable or didn't want to be with him and I told him, but he never actually heard me. I call it selective hearing. He says I knew better and needed to act on it, but I feel I did not know better and I didn't always have the strength or courage to act on my feelings. I didn't and still don't speak up for myself or act. Some can say it is really my issue and it is, but it'd be great if he sat me down and asked me what it is I really want and let me have it even if it meant breaking up. Like me being on the prowl for some time. But generally things don't work that way as people think of themselves and he's selfish (wants to keep me to himself, which is understandable) so he hasn't done so. We did open our relationship up for 2 months recently, but that took me 8 years to get that out of him. That's damn too long. But we are still together for all that counts.
* I resent my partner when he tells me what to do (could be connected to father/son issue), and when he tries not to tell me what to do, I don't do anything. Kinda lose/lose situation.
So there. I don't know much about your situation, but I may venture to suggest removing father/son from the relationship as much as you can as I think father/son will tend to create more issues. As for guardianship .. I don't know. It will tend to strengthen the father/son image and I don't know if it will help your relationship. This one is a bit outside of my jurisdiction and I would say more details are needed and maybe someone who's done this before. I can say that at times I resent my partner telling me what to do, even that he's not like my dad.
My parents got divorced, so in a way he may have filled the dad void at first, but he was definitely not my dad. He was more like an adult friend at first, and then lover lover. When I first met him, I also needed to get out of my house, I was gay, and he filled a lot of things for me at that time by providing a place to stay with him, providing financial stability and letting me be gay without hiding it. He was older, more experienced and pretty much drama free compared to some teen guys I know. Now I feel that things may not be working out as well as they did then. Maybe it's a new stage for me and I need to break it up, or maybe we can still reconcile our differences, but I dunno.
So that's what I have so far, and refer back to the first bullet point.
). I mean The law is there and.... you know. I'll be glad if you tell me how your relationship grow up...!
