maybe i should just give up

[Brtyui]

i knew this guy in college for a year, then 4/5 months ago we decided to give it a shot. i have to say it was pretty amazing, but things started to go pair shaped. A guy in his class told him how he felt about him, the guy i was seeing didn't want anything, then my ex did the same, i told him i've moved on. then near end of july the guy i was going out with started to like the guy in his class, he said he had been denying his feeling for a while, but he also liked me. i didn't find out till a night out that i knew the guy my bf liked, worst thing was all three of us went out drinking one night D:

it ended up him breaking my heart cos he liked the other guy more, but then when he told the guy he liked he got his heart broken, and then my ex said he still loved me, but i didn't so he got his heart broken.

me and my ex, decided to meet up and handle this the mature way, and settle things, he said he wanted to get over the guy he liked but he couldn't do that until after this year of college ended cos their both in the same class as each other, but he said he still liked me but he just wanted to be alone and concentrate on college. he said he still wanted to be friends but dunno if that could happen because i still liked him.

i still have to see him because he needs to give me back my stuff, so i will see how that goes. but i really wanted to save the friendship cos we were really good mates, but i don't think i could this year because the guy my ex bf liked, some of his friends are in my class so its just a reminder.

i feel like ive just been played.
u think i should just not bother ? i think am too nice a person sometimes.

i just been sitting in the house moping about, don't have the energy atm.

 

[Halifaxboy8]

It sounds like there are a lot of things going on with everyone. Roughly interpreted, your ex and this other guy need to sort their stuff out. Maybe you should give them the time to do that. There are issues with classes and people, so maybe waiting for the year to finish would be a good thing.

Your ex still has your stuff, so maybe you should pick that up instead of waiting for too long. Sometimes it feels like you "have" to be nice because if you aren't, maybe he'll not let you get it back or something, or be a dick about it. It will just make things easier if you get it back, then just deal with the friendship and see how that works out.

Do you feel that having your stuff over there, in a way, gives you an excuse to go over there and see him. Its like a part of you is there with him, even when you are not. How do you really feel about going over there and taking your belongings out of his place?

 

[Brtyui]

na, i cannt be bothered to be a mean person, went through too many relationships with girls were it was just spite, i learned that their is just no need to be a shite when ending a relationship, even if they cheated etc etc etc just end it and that it. needless drama that stress's you can do without.

uhh yea it kinda does give me an excuse to see him again because he has got some of my stuff... it does feel like some of my stuff is with him even thou we aint together... i feel quite sad that hes giving me back my stuff, its like he doesnt want me anymore.

i think i already know the answer to this ..
i just wanted other peoples opinions on what they would do x

 

[Seasoned]

You have my support for what you are going through. There is always risk when caring for another, but most people accept that because of the many positive benefits. It sucks to hurt, but all experience is education. You seem to be suffering from loss which is depressing. You can help yourself by doing the opposite of your inclination, which is to force yourself to move. Exercise. Walk when you do errands. Set a timer and only allow yourself so much time to feel alone and sad. Go window shopping. Find a new activity. Try to meet new people. Force yourself, if necessary, to do your chores. Don't let
your loss define you. You'll be ok if you take it one day at a time and if you imagine good times are ahead of you. I'm sorry for your loss and happy that you are taking care of yourself by seeking support. Good luck and best wishes. It dies get better if you keep mind and body active.

 

[Brtyui]

awwww thnx seasoned

well just a little update:
i got out the house after spending 16 days inside... not all at once but more or less.. and went in to town for an hour
so proud of myself too cos i felt like i wanted just to do something else only for a little bit

 

[Rand]

Brtyui,

I do hope that you walk away from the depression. You have had loves and you will love again. While we should continue to grow in all ways, the college years are probably the greatest years of personal change.

As you are changing so much in the way you think, your interests and start defining yourself as the person you want to be, relationships will probably be more erratic. If your partner is not changing with you, if your are moving in different directions, so many things can create tension.

Work you being a friend and work on becoming you. You will love agina and it might be the one that lasts. It might be a second time for a past love. Don't anticipate life, live it, celebrate it.

Please take care and as Seasoned said, get out and interact, exercise and continue creating yourself.

Best of luck, and do celebrate your life!

Rand

 

[Seasoned]

awwww thnx seasoned

well just a little update:
i got out the house after spending 16 days inside... not all at once but more or less.. and went in to town for an hour
so proud of myself too cos i felt like i wanted just to do something else only for a little bit

EXCELLENT NEWS. One can avoid therapy it one is able to begin with vary steps and stay upright longer day br day. Therapy is always available if you get stuck. How do you know if you're stuck? Stopped showering, shaving, bushing your teeth, eating junk food only, sleeping on dirty sheets or bare mattress, house looks like shit, stopped answering the phone, picking through dirty clothes to get dressed. Any of those signs? That's not a question that needs a public answer, but if some of the answers are yes you need a kick in the butt. If you can't give yourself one, I'd be happy to, via pm. I know what you are going through.

 

[Brtyui]

i thought this was all over..

on Tuesday night he sent me a song of how he feels,
its was already gone by Kelly Clarkson ...

i got angry at him for that. we argued then we talked about how we feel, and it ended with just see you on Monday to hand back my stuff and a last good bye.

now after a brilliant day of my mates trying to cheer me up, (couldn't ask for any better from my mates and really appreciate it) he goes on msn and talks to me...
hes like hey.. i really am sorry for upsetting u.. i wish we could be friends .. am like well i dunno, i told him he hurt me pretty bad, i told him that well will see what happens on Monday.. then hes like ohhh maybe. i then go on to try and make him jealous. i regret that a lot, but i facebook to leave him a message saying we need to proper have a chat about what is going on.

i guess am just angry that he was just like "ohh yea sup" after hurting me like that on Tuesday night. D: i have never cried like that for someone tbh and it scared me a little.

whats your take on this? am confused. u don't hurt a person like that then suddenly be like are you alright, i didn't mean to upset you without a motive or something behind it? right ?

 

[maxpowr9]

If someone hurt you bad, especially making you cry, dump them and rid them from your life. There is no point in keeping around people that make you feel like shit. No pathetic excuse can justify their actions. This is why I tend to make a clean break with guys I am no longer in a relationship with. I don't need the drama and nonsense of being ex-es and friends, it just doesn't work well in most cases.

 

[MoltenRock III]

If someone hurt you bad, especially making you cry, dump them and rid them from your life. There is no point in keeping around people that make you feel like shit. No pathetic excuse can justify their actions. This is why I tend to make a clean break with guys I am no longer in a relationship with. I don't need the drama and nonsense of being ex-es and friends, it just doesn't work well in most cases.

X2

Nuff said.

 

[Brtyui]

ano,
i just canny be bothered with it anymore. i will see how monday goes but i just dont have the strength to care. think i deserve better than this.