men and body image

[fabulouslyghetto]

you ever been self-conscious about your looks? height, weight, hair, facial features, body hair, et cetera? yall know a bitch like me gives no fucks, never cared what people think but i've always had an empathy for guys who aren't traditionally good-looking. even rappers, allegedly the peak of machismo, are starting to cave in to beauty standards-- plastic surgery, weave (yes girl, they wearing weave), compulsive dieting and working out. my first time experiencing a male with body issues was high-school when the younger brother of a classmate was hospitalized with an eating disorder, something I attributed to girls up until that point. i also have a friend with what i'd almost call a workout addiction (his arms are HUGE) who admitted that he has some sort of body dysmorphia.

the closest i've gotten to any insecurity is my height, i inherited by dad's short and stout build, I'm 5'7 160 lbs. I used to think I was the rule and tall guys were the exception til I learned the average male is 6 feet tall. it feels like there was a brief period in the 90s where we, at least in America, started to rebel against superficiality and beauty standards but then social media happened and we went right back to worshipping people for their looks. Yuck.

 

[backagain]

I have never been self-conscious about my looks. Looks are all superficial. Peoples personality and brains are the most interesting. Give me an "ugly" person with personality and a brain any day of the week versus "beauty", no personality or brain. Beauty is only skin deep. I am just average looking and quite comfortable with it.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

I have never been self-conscious about my looks. Looks are all superficial. Peoples personality and brains are the most interesting. Give me an "ugly" person with personality and a brain any day of the week versus "beauty", no personality or brain. Beauty is only skin deep. I am just average looking and quite comfortable with it.

When some people say this it feels like the politically correct answer. Nobody ever admits "Yeah I just want the hot guy." Not saying you are being disingenuous, but I hear this a lot and sometimes it feels kinda empty. I'm with ya though, I've dated guys who aren't traditionally good-looking. Papa Bear is handsome but he's built like a refrigerator and it's all in the mid-section, dude has no cakes. My mans got the Hank Hill booty

 

[backagain]

I hear you. I have been with handsome men, but they chased me down for some reason. I never chased them. I never wanted a relationship, I was quite happy being single and just hooking up. The guy that snagged me was just a hookup. My thing was 1,2,3. Hookup once, sex ok, hookup twice, sex was good, hookup 3 times the sex was outstanding and I am gone. My guy got past 3. He is just a regular guy. 150 lbs, 5'8", nice personality, and extremely smart. (molecular neuroscientist). Down to earth. Ask him what he does and he will say, I do research on nerve and muscle disorders. Been together for 17 years.

 

[TheLoveableLoner]

I've always been self conscious about my looks. I've always wished I was more conventionally attractive. Mind you, I'm generally liked for my personality, but it'd be cool to be liked for my looks for once.

As a photographer, I've always enjoyed the photographers that are both a good photographer as well as a good subject. Someone that thrives on both sides of a camera. I don't let it get to me as much as I did when I was younger, but I don't enjoy being ugly.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

I've always been self conscious about my looks. I've always wished I was more conventionally attractive. Mind you, I'm generally liked for my personality, but it'd be cool to be liked for my looks for once.

As a photographer, I've always enjoyed the photographers that are both a good photographer as well as a good subject. Someone that thrives on both sides of a camera. I don't let it get to me as much as I did when I was younger, but I don't enjoy being ugly.

Critical theory: Ugly is internal

"The prettiest people do the ugliest things" Kanye Kardashian AKA the artist formerly known as Kanye West AKA he who shall not be named AKA the abomination AKA Clarence Thomas Jr.

 

[TheLoveableLoner]

Critical theory: Ugly is internal

"The prettiest people do the ugliest things" Kanye Kardashian AKA the artist formerly known as Kanye West AKA he who shall not be named AKA the abomination AKA Clarence Thomas Jr.

Both beauty and ugliness can exist both internally and externally. I have no problem admitting that I wish I had more to offer externally.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Never cared. At all.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Never cared. At all.

We know your standards Harkie boo: do they have a pulse?

 

[Alistair]

We know your standards Harkie boo: do they have a pulse?

Of course. How else would the drugs get through their body.

 

[Peloso]

I'm all screwed up in this respect. I was an ugly kid and was bullied in grade school. I had a narcissistic mother who used denigration as punishment. My looks improved as I got older but I think the damage was already done. Despite the fact that I'm sometimes complimented on my looks and have dated guys who I thought were way out of my league, when I look in the mirror I see the mad scientist from the old Bugs Bunny cartoons. It's almost as if I have body dysmorphic order.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

I'm all screwed up in this respect. I was an ugly kid and was bullied in grade school. I had a narcissistic mother who used denigration as punishment. My looks improved as I got older but I think the damage was already done. Despite the fact that I'm sometimes complimented on my looks and have dated guys who I thought were way out of my league, when I look in the mirror I see the mad scientist from the old Bugs Bunny cartoons. It's almost as if I have body dysmorphic order.

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Are you sure you´re not just fishing for compliments?

 

[Peloso]

Are you sure you´re not just fishing for compliments?

No. That's my point.

 

[cabinfever]

I try not to think about it.

I think there may be only 3-4 pictures of me as an adult - I HATE pictures. I know alot - maybe all - of it comes from my mom. She told me I was ugly and when I brought my school pictures home she threw them away in front of me. She did the same thing to my second youngest brother. The other two each had a wall of pictures - like 50+. Little did they know me and my second youngest brother's father who we both resembled and who my mom was married to and we all called Dad wasn't their father - my father didn't even know.

So that is where it comes from. I figured I would get over it after awhile and I have except it doesn't change me hating my picture taken.

Ironically - especially in my 20s and 30s - I had alot of people obsess about my appearance. I realize they thought they were complimenting me but I wasn't happy about it at all - it irritated me and made me avoid them.

In the end though - it has been a blessing because I have no problem with aging and in a way my mom did me a favor because I never defined myself by my appearance which is a blessing in disguise.

 

[ChristianGianni]

Don't care one way or the other, I wouldn't be me if I tried to change my appearance, I'd be a stranger to myself. Just getting through each day can sometimes be a challenge in itself let alone fretting about ones looks or what others think. With me, it's what you get is what you see, no one special, just me.