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might be gay, but not sure and I'm really scared

You can be just as tough and self-confident as a gay man as you can as a straight man, but the true question is, do you really want that?

IMO This isn't so much about you being gay, it's about what 'gayness' means in a more objective, sitcommy light. It means a sensitive man who is in touch with his feelings, who is caring and nurturing and well....soft. It's a man that can hold down a relationship, and not just a job.

And that sort of gayness just isn't really valued in men. So if you yourself have the gayness, that is what is causing the self-loathing ness. But imo it has little to do with actual homoeroticsm or liking guys.

So of course most men don't want to be "gay." Stereotypically it's not as macho. It's about sharing feelings. It's not just using some whore for sex.
 
Or, it's the reverse. Your gayness/homosexuality is perceived as some hypermasculine macho thing with no empathetic balance. It can go that way too. You just view yourself talking down to everybody in sight, and thinking only about your cock and not the other person when you think of gay.

Either way it's a moral issue. Like all issues associated with homosexuality.
 
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