Mistakes were made-hello everyone

[SilverRRCloud]

#1
Chances are that you did not catch anything revolting from your first sexual encounter. You also probably sucked him off without a condom and that leaves a certain probability that you might have caught a bug or two that can be treated, if need be. Out or not, gay or straight, you are a grown up male and you are starting your sexual life. There are risks involved and you want to keep a tap on them. Hit your doc, or the college clinic and get checked regularly. This is the only smart thing to do.

#2
It looks like, you have been suffering from the most usual sort of post-sexual remorse... something akin to the 'buyer's remorse', most of us are familiar with. You are in your prime. The dude looked hot and willing and you wanted to get some. So, you did. You are not regretting this bona fide, but are saying that you will be looking for a serious relationship and meaningful sex only from now on. Take it easy on such a promise. Relationships are not found but created and just as Rome was not built in 7 days, that too, will take its time. If you want to practice abstinence in the meantime, there is no one here to stop you. Your choice.

#3
Most guys would agree that having a meaningful relationship makes a lot of sense and is a desirable task. Equally so, few people are really expecting a cool 23 year old male to put his sexual life on hold, till Mr. Right comes along and you start fulfilling your life dreams together. Do not fool yourself, no one is going to think any better of you for your 'almost virginal' chastity. And no one will thank you for it either. On the contrary... not everyone enjoys starting with the Sex 101, if you are catching my drift?


My advice: Meet up with other dudes. Enjoy your life and have fun within the reason. Sex is certainly not everything but everything without sex really boils down to nothing.

Stand your ground and look for your soulmate without going over the top in any direction. Do, what comes naturally.

SC

SC

 

[8tomtoms8]

Hey Vfor,
The first time is usually a little wierd. I experienced similar feelings. I do stay away from married guys though. It can never lead to anything for YOU with someone who is married. Do be careful with your hookups. The last thing you want to do is become infected with something which can't be cured. I have found that the guys who are most attractive as a potential partner are guys who haven't hooked up with every guy on the street. Good luck and be careful. Sex always has consequences.

 

[kevbo]

at least you didn't meet up with someone on the internet for your first sexual experience

 

[SilverRRCloud]

at least you didn't meet up with someone on the internet for your first sexual experience

Hmmm. And why would be meeting someone on the internet for your first sexual experience be necessarily bad or even undesirable?

SC

 

[kevbo]

with a random guy? without chatting at all? that's what i meant... different strokes for different folks, i guess

 

[rareboy]

Hey Vfor....

Don't fret. It was only sex; a fairly disposable commodity.

I'd be dismayed if you said you had fallen for him, since he's a cheating piece of shit, but hey, you didn't do anything horrible. It has helped you refine your thinking on what you want out of a sexual relationship, so mark it down to a learning experience. As you say, he was hot.

Do not feel bad or scared. Just move on and learn to enjoy sex for what it is....just sensation if you're not emotionally involved and spectacular passion when you are.

...and c'mon out. It will help you find a real bf.

 

[hotatlboi]

at least you didn't meet up with someone on the internet for your first sexual experience

I'm sorry but this makes no sense at all. how is meeting someone on the internet any different from meeting a random dude on the street?

I've hooked up with people on the internet and imo it can be safer than some random dude on the street because you can actually talk with them for a little while and find out things before you meet.

 

[Lube]

I want a real relationship where there is love and equality. I did it on my own free will and sort of enjoyed it, but now I just feel bad and scared.

Well, nothing like having a nice warm cock in your mouth after all those years of fantasizing, eh?

Relax. Your chance of HIV from that encounter is almost nil, but as others have said, you might want to visit a doctor or clinic about curable diseases if you're worried.

It's good that you saw this guy for what he was--someone you do not want to get involved with in anything other than a hookup. And there's nothing wrong with wanting a loving, long term relationship with a special guy.

But sex for the sake of sex can be fun, as long as everyone's honest about their intentions. Some guys can't handle that. It was much harder for me when I was younger, because I got very emotionally attached to people very quickly. If you're like that, stay away from hookups, because you'll only get depressed.

Nowadays, however, I find it much easier to separate sex from love, although recently I haven't had to since I do have a bf now.

Good luck and stop beating yourself up. You took that huge first step, and you may find that you want sex with guys more often now. That's OK. It's perfectly natural.

And when you're comfortable with yourself, come out of the closet. It'll be easier when you realize that everybody probably already knows, they're just not saying anything. I mean, you're 23 years old and I assume you've never had a girlfriend. Relax. They know. They might not want to admit it, but deep down inside they know.

 

[backpacker]

We have all made a few mistakes along the way. The risks that you caught anything are small, but you may want to be checked just for your own peace of mind. At least you now know what you really want and you won't have to have the added pressure of being a virgin anymore.

 

[m59583]

If I had known he had kids from the beginning, and knew he was still married also, there would be NO way I would be doing anything sexual with him. There's too much for him to risk------and being at the age I am-------I know I'm not going to be able to support him if crap hits the fan and she were to find out.

No way, no how, no sir.

 

[shypuppy69]

Hey Vfor,
The first time is usually a little wierd. I experienced similar feelings. I do stay away from married guys though. It can never lead to anything for YOU with someone who is married. Do be careful with your hookups. The last thing you want to do is become infected with something which can't be cured. I have found that the guys who are most attractive as a potential partner are guys who haven't hooked up with every guy on the street. Good luck and be careful. Sex always has consequences

I'll 2nd that!

 

[JackFTwist]

There was this hot man that came to my car and asked me if there was anything to do in our small city. He asked how old I was, because I look younger than my age. I freaked out and told him I didn't know. He said he was gay, but he had kids, and I told him I was too, but I was still in the closet. He asked if I wanted to come back to his house for a couple of hours and I said ok.

in retrospect every danger sign was there - he's asking you what to do in a city he lives in, for one, asing your age - but shit, you learned I hope and don't beat yourself up over it

 

[chrisdobro]

There was this hot man that came to my car ...... He said he was gay, but he had kids, and I told him I was too, but I was still in the closet. He asked if I wanted to come back to his house for a couple of hours and I said ok.

Can't offer much more advice than has already been said. But I wanted to say that I'd like to pick up guys that easily.

 

[Soilwork]

Oh please.

Everyone should just throw caution to the wind and get dirty at least once.

It's a memory you'll have forever.

You set boundaries and kept to them, you had a fine time, and you stood your ground on not doing anything you didn't feel comfortable doing.

You win.

(now come out, go ask out some guy you're really into and move on from the dress rehersal to opening night.)