Move to the City

[winterknight]

Note: this is a Winterknight Introspective. I'll try not to make it just another moan, but those of you who have gotten tired of these have now been officially warned.

Anyhew, a number of people over the years - not just here - have suggested that a lot of my issues ultimately devolve from the fact that I'm in an isolated location with no means of transport, and that if I were to up sticks and move to a city or something they would all mysteriously vanish.

I can see where they're coming from, in that where I am now I really don't have a great deal of opportunity to interact with people and spend most of my evenings sat at home completely bored out of my brain. At least if I lived in a city I could get out of the house at night and wander round the centre or something, the theory goes.

I also freely admit that living here isn't ideal: quite apart from the isolation there's the fact that my parents can be EXTREMELY annoying at times. And admitting that I still live with them at 27 is kinda embarrassing, or would be if I ever actually met anyone for long enough to tell them...

Now, the simple fact of the matter is that at the end of the day I simply can't afford to move anywhere, let alone into an expensive city, on what my current job pays me. Hopefully that will change within the next year, however, and I certainly do not intend to stay here my whole life. O'course, first I gotta figure out what sort of job I actually WANT to do, but that's another story....

Even so, however, when the day actually comes, I'm not sure I'd actually WANT to live in a city. I've tried it once before, when I went to Uni in Reading - and we all know how much of a disaster that turned out to be in that I'm still picking up the pieces six years after I left. I strongly suspect that I'm just too much of a country mouse at heart to be able to fit in easily to inner city life.

That having been said, I do like visiting London, I'm just not sure I'd actually be able to cope with living there. I certainly wouldn't mind moving somewhere a bit closer and with better rail links so I could visit more often.

Of course, I'd also want to be fairly near the coast, because nothing of any importance whatsoever can possibly occur more than thirty miles from the ocean.

Somewhere like Lewes, perhaps, which is convenient for both London and Brighton.

Of course, like I said, anything of this ilk is completely up in the air until I figure out what I actually want to do with my life....

Thoughts?

 

[Nonimus]

Reading - there's your problem right there! Call that a city? Pfft!

I know you're studying chemical-thingy's n shit - and there is good money in that (this hot lad i know is about to walk in to a 35k job starter) so you probably could find something that would earn you a decent living.

The basic question goes back to 'what do you want from life?' - you don't have to move to some metropolis just to meet gay guys - get a car and you can do that! I think you need to look at your comfort zone and start taking steps outside of it.

You're gonna come good - i know it!

 

[winterknight]

Reading - there's your problem right there! Call that a city? Pfft!

It's a city in the sense of "being more than a hundred times bigger than anywhere I'd lived before I went there."

Hell, there were twice as many students at the University than there are people in the whole of the town where I grew up. And this was six years ago...

 

[Swellegant]

I think I know what you mean... I love living near San Francisco without having to live in San Francisco. It's too tightly-packed and fast-paced and whatever, nice to visit but I don't think I want to live there.

But Oakland is still a big city, and surrounded by cities, in a big old metropolitan area. You have to drive an hour or more to get to any real country. I don't like the country, I can barely stomach the suburbs (useful only for shopping malls), so I'm not the right person to ask about the best compromise between town and country.

Something I've been noticing about myself lately as I become ever more homebodyish: planning on a future event is almost as fun and stimulating as taking part in that event. Planning on moving out on your own can be just as big a deal as actually moving out on your own.

You don't have to decide right now what precise job you want to do when you move, but you can start saving up your money and start looking at want-ads and rental listings in various comminities that you might consider living in. Such a project can be very entertaining and consuming, and then when you are ready to get up and go, you'll be better prepared and have a mountain of information at your fingertips.

 

[3nipples]

I agree with Nonimus. Reading is a horrible place to live in. I was there for almost a year. The only thing it has going for it is the frequency of the trains to take you out of there.

 

[Nonimus]

I agree with Nonimus. Reading is a horrible place to live in. I was there for almost a year. The only thing it has going for it is the frequency of the trains to take you out of there.

God bless you! And BTW - i have a nubbing too!

 

[winterknight]

I get that Reading is evil. I lived there for three fucking years, remember?

But the fact that I used to live in a complete arsehole of a place does not alter the fact that I believe I am fundamentally not cut out for city living.

 

[slobone]

^Better than nubbing I suppose.

winterknight, you need to decide what your priorities are. Job, home, social life? Get one of them just the way you like it and the other two may not seem so bad.

Don't let anybody else tell you what to want. I moved from a big city to an itty bitty town, and it was the right thing to do. Yes, I do get bored from time to time, but I've learned to adapt. So I read more and go to the opera less [zilch]. On balance, I can't imagine plunging back into all that stress & mess.

 

[Nonimus]

What Slobone said!

Work out what you want - you wanna be cozy in a little cottage with some cute guy - sounds great - go for it!

We can't make your mind up for you hun - only you can do that! Commuting is possible too! You can be in the city but not of it!

 

[winterknight]

I know.

Trouble is, I've been trying to work that out for at least three years, and have persistently drawn a blank

 

[Nonimus]

I know.

Trouble is, I've been trying to work that out for at least three years, and have persistently drawn a blank

Drawn a blank in what way? Be more forthcoming lad!

 

[3nipples]

God bless you! And BTW - i have a nubbing too!

So that's it. I knew there was something about you that I liked

But the fact that I used to live in a complete arsehole of a place does not alter the fact that I believe I am fundamentally not cut out for city living.

Hon, the point is that Reading is not representative of city living and from what I can tell from reading your posts, you're not fundamentally cut out for living in the boonies either.

 

[winterknight]

Hon, the point is that Reading is not representative of city living and from what I can tell from reading your posts, you're not fundamentally cut out for living in the boonies either.

I'd rather be out here in the boonies than be forced to live permanently in Central London. The frenetic pace of city life would drive me crazy in short order.

Like I said, I wouldn't mind moving a bit closer to London so I could visit more often, but I wanna be able to sleep somewhere I can see the stars.

Drawn a blank in what way? Be more forthcoming lad!

Exactly what I said.

When I do the stereotypical "where do you imagine yourself in five years" thing that Job interviewers are so find of, I never reach any sort of conclusion. On a good day, I see myself exactly where I am now, just five years older. On a bad day I don't see anything

But that's getting dangerously close to Eeyore territory....

 

[winterknight]

I'm not averse to moving out of the south east or to somewhere near Manchester, but once again, it runs up against the same problem -- WTF am I gonna do when I get there?

Until I get that sorted in my head, I can't move anywhere

 

[Swellegant]

Why not? Why do you have to decide on your entire blinking career right now? Just look for a job, any old job that sounds like something you might be able to do, in whatever town you decide on, or among your top ten choices of towns to try out. Any old job will do... waiter, mayor, florist's assistant, pimp, whatever sounds interesting to you.

I've always hated that "where do you see yourself in five years" question, too. I don't see myself anywhere in five years. Where I'd like to see myself right now is in a job that doesn't make me want to kill myself and which pays enough to keep body and soul together (and dressed properly). Beyond that, who the hell cares? I might be dead in five years, I might win the lottery, I might become a Trappist monk. Anything can happen in five years!

Maybe we can make up your mind for you? What did you study at univeristy? I think you'd be good at data entry, maybe systems analysis. One of those vaguely technical jobs where there are people around if you want to interact with people, but you mostly work on your own and can ignore them if you want.

 

[winterknight]

I've just finished a chemistry degree, and am waiting on the results.

I'm not sure that I'd want to do that for ever, though.

But sadly, at 27 I think I'd also want something a *bit* more interesting than a basic data-entry job of the type that normally gets given to school-leavers.

I just don't have a fucking clue *what*

Or where I'd want to live.

*sigh*