Moving in with my best friend

[Providence]

Hey everybody! So I'm currently living in a house with 4 other people (1 guy I knew at school, 2 random roommates, and my landlord). We get along just fine but it gets irritating living with strangers sometimes especially since our house has 2 bathrooms and our landlord keeps 1 for himself and the rest of us share the other one. Now I don't care for messy roommates as long as they do whatever in their space but I find it disgusting the state they leave the common areas in.
My best friend lives with his sister who will be leaving the country in November to work abroad and he has offered to let me room with him.
So now, here comes the part I need help. I need to know if it's a good idea or a bad one to make this move. I really hate my current home and my roommates can get on my nerves quite a few of the times. My best friend is straight and is fully aware of the fact that I'm bisexual. I have a huge crush on him and we have done quite a few things together, mostly involving me giving him head. He's made it quite clear that he doesn't want a gay relationship and I am perfectly okay with that. I make it pretty obvious how I feel towards him but I've never really "expressed" my feelings to him because it saves me the trouble of getting rejected and him the trouble of having to reject me since I already know it won't work.
Anyways, he's the only male friend I have that knows about my sexuality. Most of my female friends know and most are supportive, some disagree with my lifestyle but don't express their opinion because they believe it's my life and it doesn't concern them. Anyways, so my best friend is very supportive of me and said I can bring guys home since I'll be living with someone who knows about my sexual preference. He even offers to take me to gay clubs so I can find someone.

So anyways, my main dilemma is that I'm worried that our beautiful friendship may get ruined if we make this move of moving in together. So I'm just wondering for those of you who live with their best friends or have in the past, has it been a good idea or a bad one. He's a really great friend and the only person I know in real life that I've been able to tell everything to, including the fact that I was sexually abused when I was 10 and he was extremely supportive of me.

Anyways, I look forward to your feedbacks and thanks in advance!

 

[G-Lexington]

You can expect some additional friction with this guy if you move in with him - that's true of anybody you live with. If you're both willing to compromise and talk things over, you should be OK on that front. As far as your crush, that'll depend on you. If you don't mind him telling you the limits of your sexual relationship (you only give him head, and only when he's comfortable with it), and you're resigned to it never moving beyond that, then great. If you harbor any secret thoughts that once you move in, you'll somehow seduce him into something more, you'd best drop them right now.

Lex

 

[12fear99]

As you know living with other people will always be challenging. I lived with my best friend right after HS. We did get along great fro a few years until we both got jobs in different areas. We once talked about things that bother each other. That helped a lot. Our relationship was closer than even.

It seems that you both know each other pretty well. But remember to respect each other space and likes and dislikes. You actually get to know the person even better and you find out things that may shock you. But I think we all change as we get older. If you find out that it is not working out, have the courage to move out and save your friendship if necessary. Good Luck. I think you will be fine. Just my opinion.

 

[Lube]

Providence, I think you're putting yourself in a really bad situation.

You have a huge crush on a guy who you give head to and who wants no part (sexually) of you? I think he'll be expecting more "favors" when you move in, and you're only going to get more frustrated as you get closer to him, but he continues to reject you.

He is using you. Not a good friend in my book.

 

[racer2438]

-you need to separate your crush and your friendship if you want to keep being friends. Living together is fine as long as you communicate your needs to each other. But once you throw in your crush, I think your asking for trouble.
1. you say he is supportive
2. he is willing to help you find someone
3. he seems str8 and respects your place.
4. you should respect his space and be glad you have someone who is understanding and supportive.
4. dont ruin either one as you may not find someone that does both as well.
6. go find someone else and it will take your mind off him

 

[hummer7979]

Yeah.. it really depends on your relationship. If you can occasionally fool around with him with absolutely no strings attached, then fine. But you have to be honest with yourself, because the last thing you want is to be tied down to misery because of a lease.

Just imagine how it would feel if you went too far and all of a sudden, things became extremely awkward. You can't easily run away if you're living with him.

I don't know.. think it through.

 

[backpacker]

I think you already answered your own question with this post. Right now your crush is under control. If you have the close contact that a roommate situation brings, you will have a very hard time controlling your emotions. You are setting yourself up for trouble and it won't be emotionally healthy. You are best off finding another living situation that is better than both your current one and your best friend.

You should level with your bf and tell him why it wouldn't be a good idea for the two of you to live together. If you don't, he'll wonder why you didn't move in with him. My guess is that it will make your friendship stronger once he realizes that you respect him and don't want to jeopardize the friendship.

 

[andy12]

"My best friend is straight [but!!] we have done quite a few things together, mostly involving me giving him head."

Can someone please explain to me all these straight men who don't mind having gay sex every chance they get?

 

[hummer7979]

"My best friend is straight [but!!] we have done quite a few things together, mostly involving me giving him head."

Can someone please explain to me all these straight men who don't mind having gay sex every chance they get?

Honestly, if a really attractive girl wanted to give me head, I wouldn't necessarily refuse. I still consider myself gay.

 

[trawler69]

I find it works OK. I live with my ex but he is still my best mate. We knocked the jealousy thing on the head and are just very comfortable around one another and are supportive of each each other in whatever we decide to do. Cherish your friendship, accept that a sexual relationship will not happen, it will only ever be fuck buddies at best or you pleasuring him. You might find it easier if you were to put an end to that rather than be hurt when he decides to end it.

I'm sure it can work out between you if you communicate with each other as the friends that you are.

 

[Providence]

I think he'll be expecting more "favors" when you move in, and you're only going to get more frustrated as you get closer to him, but he continues to reject you.

Thanks for the advice, Lube. I don't really mind if he expects more favors. I enjoy giving him head as much as he enjoys receiving it, if not more. And he's never rejected me, I've never tried anything else besides giving him head. He wanted to experiment and give me head the first time I gave him head and I told him he didn't have to and I'd rather not since he's straight. I'm not trying to have him switch teams. We both just happen to enjoy me giving him head.

Just imagine how it would feel if you went too far and all of a sudden, things became extremely awkward. You can't easily run away if you're living with him.

I don't expect us to go any further. Actually, I don't think either of us want this to go any further. I only have sex with someone I'm in a relationship with. Other random fun, doesn't really matter. Not like I whore myself out, but if I'm single and my best friend is single, we don't mind having some fun with each other. We've talked about things getting awkward in the past and it hasn't.

Thank you everyone else as well for your advice. I really appreciate it. I'll keep you guys updated if anyone cares.

 

[drhladnjak]

If I were in your situation, I would only consider moving in with him if I honestly thought the sexual past was behind the two of us.

There are plenty of other guys out there who wouldn't mind getting their dicks sucked by you. There's no reason to continue pining after this guy. If you can accept that you're just friends and move on, I think you'll be fine. If you don't think you can do that, I'd recommend finding another roommate. It's easy for your feelings to change for somebody once you start being around them a lot more even if things are fine now.