Moving Out

[xxjason123x]

Ok guys i really need your help and advice on this one...
i just turned 20 in september and im really getting fed up with my parents.. let me give you some background information.. i am the oldest of 3 my brother is 18 and sister is 12.. my parents are hardcore christians and believe that i am staying at home till i get married and i am not allowed to date until im done with college.. they do not let me go out with my friends and think that going out twice a month is good enough.. back in highschool i wanted to become a doctor but realized that it wasnt for me because of i wasnt committed to spending my twenties in school.. i think ive made the most out of my life given the circumstances.. i participated in everythign i wanted to in highschool and even though my parents wished for me to do running start i stayed in highschool becuase it only comes once and i wanted to have the full "experience" which i do not regret one bit... but anyway when i was a senior i was supposed to go to a certain University that was near home but instead i applied at a univiersity that was 4 hours away becuase my parents said that i would be living at home if i went there and i refused to obey so i applied at the school 4 hours away and told my parents i applied at the school close by.. anyway i got in with a scholarship at the school 4 hours away and everything was going to plan until i messed around with this girl (im bi) and broke her heart-- she told my dad everything how i didnt even apply to the school close by and my plan to lie and tell them i got rejected thereby forcing them to let me go to the school 4 hours away.. anyway they found out and have punsihed me by going to a community college down the street from us..

its been 2 years now and im staying at home and things have been ok with my parents.. until a couple of days ago when my plan for my major had changed.. i have been working on getting a business degree when my parents, whom are paying for my school, suddenly took me aside and said that they are forcing me to do nursing because it is a for sure shot in getting money.. personally i dont care about money and i want a job where i can be happy doing but they think its unrealistic and impractical.. im so fed up with my parents and i want to move out but the thing is that i just paid for my tuition 4 DAYS AGO and now so i dont waste that money im going to stay here, also i am happy with my social life and i like where my life is besides the fact that my parents are being ignorant.. i dont have a car but i do have money saved up.. i have a couple of solutions but i dont know what to do..
1. should i just listen to my parents for hte rest of my life and be miserable-- get my nursing degree and move the fuck out and never see them again
2. go to school and finish this quarter off, save money as much as possible to buy a car and possible apartment. --only thing is i dont know how im gonna pay for the apartment and go to school without pulling loans
3. pack up my stuff right now and just book a ticket to NYC (my dream to live in the city) and live life unplanned and not knowing where im gonna sleep the next day

things to keep in mind:
i am the oldest lie i said earlier.. so i dont want to impose any negativity to my younger sister
im usually a planned person and i dont think i can live without knowing the next step ahead of me
i have a lot of shit(clothes) and i want to take it with me when i move out.. lol i know its the least of my worries but i really like my clothes..

help me out guys.. i really dont know what to do and im tired of not being in control of my own life..

 

[puka-pride]

shit seriously?

you're 20 years old....

quit being a tool

you aren't your parents little puppet
stop acting like one

get a job... move out.. rent with roomies... and go to school doing whatever the fuck YOU want to do in school...

as far as i can tell your parents have already wasted the money by paying the tuition in a course you don't wanna do... so you can get a job you don't wanna do...

wtf are you gonna do 10 years down the road when you are miserable at work AND miserable at home because you'll probably still be living with your parents considering how whipped you are by them

follow your dream cus you can't be happy taking the safe road all the time

 

[looseliam]

You only live once.

Sure, moving out, working, and going to school will be tough. But people have done it.

You don't want to look back and wonder about the things you didn't do.

Go for it.

 

[FabFairy]

How old did you say you were?? Pull the dummy out of ya bum and get a move on. You should move out of home. If your parents like nursing that much let them do it. Getting you into nursing has more to do with getting rid of you once your studies are complete and less to do with seeing you happen and content for the future. Stop letting your parents live your life.

Your only 20 and before you leave this mortal coil your career will take many twists and turns so you can do 2 things: 1/ Bite your tongue and complete nursing and use that as base for an income while to continue study.

Or 2/ Get out from the apron strings and live your life as you want. Either way you may or will have a debt sooner of later. The important thing is that you enjoy all life has to offer.

 

[12fear99]

I moved out when I was 20. I was the best thing I ever did. My parents were supportive and not directing my life like yours. I moved into an apartment with a friend and split the bills 50/50. We were both in school and worked my way through college. I was going to the local community college too. It is much cheaper too. I got my associates degree and later transferred to a 4 year college.

You can do it on your own. It does sound like you are an organized guy. You will survive. Explain everything to your parents and keep them informed of your life. I hope they will come around and understand that you are your own person. My parent did give me a lot of direction, which I did not take very often, but they continued to support me. I am very lucky.

Good luck and seek what is best for you. LIVE!

 

[xxjason123x]

thanks for the all the input.. you guys make it sound really simple but its actually a little complicated.. if you guys havent already figured out im pacific islander and my parents are crazy just like any other pacific islander or asian parent.. i think the only way i can do this is to move out.. there's no way my parents are going to give their consent or their blessing.. but i really want to experience life and though it may be a little rough ill get through..

anyway my plan is to make arrangements for living and to buy a car.. i have 1300 in my bank saved up and i do have a job.. when i leave though my parents will probably disown me.. i love my mom and i know she'll never forgive me but its a sacrifice im willing to take.. thanks guys for the input.. and if you guys have been in the same situation can you tell me what you did and how you got through cos im a little new at this and i cant afford to make any major mistakes.. the dealing wiht parents thing is probably something i dont need help on its just getting the foot on the ground and living.. i dont know where to look for roommates or cheap apartments?

 

[Blueboy369]

OK,
If you're not working, find a job. One day you won't have Mom & Dad paying the bills and you will wish you had it that good again. Save for your next move. Start making plans to go out with friends and save some more money while you still live at home. Tell your parents that you are to old to ask permission to go out and if they want you to stay there they are going to have to give you space.
Eventually The money you save should be enough to help you with first months rent. Move in with a roommate. Good luck and don't forget. Your parents care about you so when you speak to them remember they only want what's best for you.

 

[hotatlboi]

OK,
Your parents care about you so when you speak to them remember they only want what's best for you.

From the way he describes it, I'm not sure that's the case. They may want what they think is best, but that's probably not what's actually best for him.

 

[xxjason123x]

im thinking about it more and more and moving out on an impulse is not very practical or realistic.. the last thing i wnt to do is move out and then end up moving back in acting like an idiot cos i couldnt make it out in hte real world only giving my parents to make a mockery of me proving that i need them..

because of school i only work 10 hour weeks getting a little over minimum wage.. im frustrated cos i want to move out but my guts are just telling em to stick it out for 2 more years cos thats all i have left of school.. and then i can make the money and move out and hopefully by then ill have enough money to move out..

i dont know what to think anymore.. im so confusd and irritated.. i dont want to quit school and my parents ARE paying for it so maybe im actually living a good life and im just being a baby..

 

[puka-pride]

no your parents are being over bearing... you can't move out and not make sacrifices... u will prolly have to switch to being a part time student... it will take longer but at least u can work more and pay for rent and stuff

and maybe the fact that you are taking a stand for your own future well being... and you are upfront about it then your parents might clue into the fact that the way the treat you and make all the decisions for you is wrong and they will back off a bit on it.

 

[qwe549]

I'm not in the exact same sitution, but mine is similar. I'm the oldest child of 3, I'm 21 and I don't have a license or a car... my parents have never let me get one. I had a job but got laid off, and couldn't save up any money because my parents hit me up for cash every time I turn around.

I'm also in a very stressful environment, and I did think of just packing up and leaving, but like you said, it's not wise because you don't want to come 'crawling back.'

I've been really upset lately and don't know what to think or what to do.

I guess what I'm getting at is, you're not the only guy out there under pressure because of his parents, so hang in there and I hope your situation improves

 

[Twistedup]

not allowed to date until you're done with college? going out two times a week? man i'd have run away at twelve. i'd rather live in a rats nest and eat ramen than that.

man...my dad used to be like..."you spend too much time watching tv, i'm dropping you off at the mall. i'll get you tomorrow. go do something."

you, my friend, are in hell. tell your parents to fuck the fuck off. better yet, tell them nothing. whatever you do...pull the teet out your mouth and get out of there.