My Coming Out Process

[KaraBulut]

This is much better advice than mine. I really regret telling him to agree to try out one of "their" counselors as a bargaining chip, to be honest, but it's so hard to get people like that to see things through a gay person's perspective.

Every person coming here for advice benefits from different viewpoints.

My comments were based upon personal friends whose parents sent them to "Christian counselors". While these counselors were well-intentioned, very little was accomplished that helped anyone. The friends resented going there. It made them resent their parents for sending them and it isolated them further from their church. And it gave the parents a free pass on accepting their child's sexuality while sending the subtle message that somehow being gay was wrong and sinful.

But that may not be everyone's experience.

 

[TX-Beau]

I'd say that's pretty accurate.

 

[Lube]

I've had a lot of practice dealing with fundamentalist homophobes in the family, and here's how I deal with that. I treat them like they're amusing crazies with a head full of silly notions. If they tell me I'm going to hell, I chuckle and laugh and humor their condemnation. Never argue, never complain, just dismiss. That's the one thing they aren't prepared to deal with. No matter what they say, no matter how pushy they are, no matter what comes out of their mouth, it only has consequence if you let it. The drama is only as big as you allow. They can't have their serious issue, if you refuse to participate.

You know who you are. Stand your ground. They are the ones with the issues to resolve, and hopefully, given time, you'll help them do that.

Quoted for truth.

People are a lot easier to deal with if you realize that they just don't understand a specific topic. It doesn't mean they're worthless people, it just means you totally ignore everything they say about a particular topic. You don't argue, don't discuss--it's not even worth doing. But otherwise treat them with respect.