My Dad saw me viewing JUB... what do I do?

[SurferBoyKai]

The other option is just tell the truth, but heck I understand where you're coming from as it took me 34 years to come out myself.

the only problem with that suggestion is that some people in this thread think that he'll be killed if he tells the truth. i've said it before, i'm not an expert on filipino culture, but one of my closest friends is 100% filipina, so i'll ask her what he should do

 

[Rick18]

I have a friend from the Philippines and he's out. Granted, he lives in the States now, but I'm pretty sure he was out when he was back home.

I don't think him telling his dad that he is bi instead of gay is going to make it easier on him. If people in the Philippines get harassed for being gay, I'd imagine they'd get harassed just as much for being bi. He likes men either way, why lie and say he likes girls? He's just going to have to come out to his father again when he asks why he only looks at men and never women if he's bi.

 

[-Ryan-]

I have a friend from the Philippines and he's out. Granted, he lives in the States now, but I'm pretty sure he was out when he was back home.

I don't think him telling his dad that he is bi instead of gay is going to make it easier on him. If people in the Philippines get harassed for being gay, I'd imagine they'd get harassed just as much for being bi. He likes men either way, why lie and say he likes girls? He's just going to have to come out to his father again when he asks why he only looks at men and never women if he's bi.

no, he wont get harassed as much for being bi.
being bi means liking girls and guys right.

the dad will think there is a chance to 'save' his son and make him like girls.
then, since enta obviously likes being in the closet and he is good at hiding it, he can fake it and convince his dad.

What's the point of claiming to be "bisexual"?
He's still hearing that his son has an affinity for dicks.

try look up

 

[Rick18]

no, he wont get harassed as much for being bi.
being bi means liking girls and guys right.

the dad will think there is a chance to 'save' his son and make him like girls.
then, since enta obviously likes being in the closet and he is good at hiding it, he can fake it and convince his dad.



try look up

Like I said, he'll have to come out as gay sooner or later unless he feels like lying for the rest of his life.

What good is his dad thinking he can "save" his son? That's just going to cause problems.

 

[-Ryan-]

i just said

then, since enta obviously likes being in the closet and he is good at hiding it, he can fake it and convince his dad.

 

[megustamyn]

If your father wanted to make a big deal out of this he would have already. The truth is that parents do not like talking with their children about sexuality any more than the children do. It’s a very uncomfortable subject, so he may never say anything. If this incident has caused things to change between you two then you may have to bring it out into the open.

If he wanted to throw you out of the house, you would be out already, so I don’t think he’s going to do that. He is probably going through a similar process as you are – thinking about it and trying to determine the best course of action. My guess is that he has accepted it although he may not be exactly happy about it. Of course, he could also be thinking that you were merely being curious and that it will pass but I suspect he’s smarter than that.

If it comes to it, I think it is okay to say “I'm sorry, but this is just the way I am.” You’re not sorry about being who you are but it’s okay to feel sorry for a parent who might be disappointed. All parents have expectations of their children, whether it be about family or career or whatever, and they are disappointed when the children don’t meet those expectations. We don’t have a responsibility to be the people our parents want us to be but we can acknowledge that our lives have an impact on them.

I have probably disappointed my parents at times and I know for certain that my daughters have disappointed me, but we still love each other.

 

[SurferBoyKai]

especially since I'm the only boy and am expected to pass on the family name.

who's to say you can't pass on the family name just because yer gay?

 

[attallaborn]

for you to be in such a hostile enviroment towards gays; you dont show caution in hinding your dirty little secret: leavingg doors cracked, not clearing your internet history, etc is just asking to be outed. you better get your head straight son...

 

[Lube]

Generally, it's much easier to come out when you're ready for it. Took me a long time. OTOH, when you've been outed like that, the decision has pretty much been made for you.

Here's the problem with just silently acknowledging your gayness:

You're not educating him.

Why do you need to educate him? Because he's probably getting negative stereotypes from society and--potentially--from friends or relatives he might confide in.

Do you want him to think about you as a stereotype, or do you want to educate him? Let him know that gays are just like other people, they just like men. Let him know that you understand risks and are being safe (at least I hope you are). Don't go into details (he doesn't want to know ), but just let him know that you're happy & safe.

That will mean the world to him.

 

[Dman007]

First off, just in case...

HELLO,
ENTA'S DAD!

WE'RE ACTUALLY
QUITE A COOL
BUNCH HERE!
​

​

​

​

As for you, play it cool. If he asks, tell him. "It's a gay porn site."

Lex

OMG lex your amazing! im gonna talk to you if I ever have serious problems!

that was hilarious...oh man..