My dick won't stay hard!!! Help!!

[MarKo17]

I read the sticky note, but my situation seems to be different.

SO, I have been dating this guy for a almost two years and I'm basically the bottom. Although, I enjoy it, it's not what I am all about. Anyway, he doesn't seem to enjoy bottoming either, so I held off on him doing it for a while until about a month or two ago. He didn't like it. It was embarassing.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I started having problems getting an erection and keeping them. I thought maybe I was getting bored with him, although i really really love him. Then a situation happened and we ended up taking a break. Since then I've hooked up with two other guys that I've like, but I'm still having the same problems. These guys are hot. Like really hot and they are bottoms. Well anyway I' could only keep it erect four minutes at a time. I mean it would get hard again, but it would go soft. It would still go flacid even while i was getting oral from them. Now, I'm starting to worry.

I don't know whats wrong with me. I don't know how to fix it. I've been looking up on this and there have been guys in the same situation who have said that they have been having the same problem for years and they are around the same age. I'm hoping is just a phase, but I'm worried that it'll be this way for the rest of my life or that in a couple of years i won't be able to get hard without Viagra or something. Can anyone help me out on this?

 

[AlmondMilk]

I think it might just be the stress that you're enduring?

 

[tidimus]

it definitely could be stress. I've had that happen, also are you taking anything new? Any new dietary supplements?

I only ask because at one point I tried hydroxycut and though it did not list sexual side effects, what is happening to you is exactly what happened to me. I stopped taking it and the problem went away immediately.

 

[MarKo17]

No, I have npt been using any kind of drugs.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

No, I have npt been using any kind of drugs.

If you take alcohol before sex or poppers during sex, it also affects your erection.

 

[MarKo17]

All i drink is chocolate milk milk shakes in a bottle.

 

[wooffy]

MarKo17, I'm surprised no one has asked the obvious question - can you maintain an erection at other times? When masturbating etc. Do you sometimes wake up with an erection? While watching porn? If you can stay hard for any length of time, that would make a physical cause less likely.

If you can maintain an erection when not hooking up with a guy, and you've ruled out anything that could cause the problem under those circumstances (e.g. drugs, alcohol, etc. as others have suggested) then eliminate stress.

For starters, have an honest chat with the guy, and agree that you will have sexual contact that won't be about your hardon. Make it about kissing, make it about kinky stuff, make if about you servicing him, whatever, just have no expectation of you getting hard. Heck, keep your pants on the whole time if you want. Your whole mindset should be "it doesn't matter if I am hard today, we're not using it anyway." That has worked for friends with "performance anxiety", simply taking the stress out of the equation. Eventually the problem resolved itself.

Finally, there may be health issues at play. Are you unfit? Obese? Any medical conditions? Getting medical help may be a good option, and your best recourse once you have ruled out everything else.