My Friend and I

[More_guy2004]

I don't know why, but I felt I needed to share this story. Feel free to leave advice or comments.

But my friend and I have known each other for about 11 months. We were both members of a group. When I first met him, I just had a gut feeling that he was gay or bi. Hell we even started gay jokes with each other the first time we met but that was as far as it went. As far as he knew, I was straight; and I only had suspicions about him. But I never said anything to him about it in a serious manner.

The joking continued for months. Finally one night we were chatting online and the joking started. And during the joking he said something about being 'hung' so I told him to 'prove it' by sending me a nude pic of himself. He just kept "lol'ing" and joking about it but didn't send the pic. So Finally, I told him I didn't think he was hung or else he would send the pic. I told him he didn't have the balls to send the pic. He said "wanna bet?" I said "sure". I said "I'll tell you what, I'm so confident you are too much of a coward to send the pic that I'll make this bet. If you send the pic, I will jerk you off sometime we are together!". The truth was, I was hoping he would fall for it and send the pic just so I could see him naked. But he didn't know that. My plan worked. He fell for it and sent the pic. Of course, I continued the "straight" act by pretending that I was scared and embarrassed about having to jerk him off now.

So for the next few months, the joking continued but nothing else happened. A few times when we were together he would bring up the fact that I owed him a hand job. And each time I replied "anytime you want; I will be a man of my word." But nothing ever happened.

Then a few months later, another person met my friend; and he too got gay / bi vibe from my friend, which I found interesting.

Then my friend and I lost contact for four months.

Finally about 2 weeks ago, we got back in touch with each other. It wasn't but a few days until the joking started again. Then a few nights ago, we were again chatting online and I again dared him to send me some nude pics of himself. He replied "you don't think I will do it , do you?" and I said "no". Well he sent one!

I made the comment "nice pic dude". He asked if I wanted more and I said "sure". So he sends me 3 or 4 more. I complimented the pics just as I did the first one. He then asks "do you like that kind of stuff?" and I laughed (LOL) and didn't answer his question. Instead I said "Do you?" and he said "sometimes." I said "cool". I then said "So do I.".

He then asked if it bothered me that he was "bi". And I said "no" and that I had suspicions that he was all along and that others did as well. So he then asked if I was "bi". And I told him "no" and went on to tell him I was gay. I asked him if he ever had any suspicions about my sexuality and he replied no, that he always thought I was straight.

So anyway, we were now 'out' to each other. It was a relief actually . Things seemed so much more relaxed between us. He then starts begging me to come over that night to mess around. Unfortunately, I couldn't go that night and so we made plans for the next day. He was supposed to call me when he got free and we would meet.

Well the next day came and I waited and waited but no call came. I knew he had chickened out. And that was fine, I just wish he would have been honest and told me instead of making me wait all day. For that reason, I was pissed.

He was so scared that a couple of days went by and I never heard from him. Finally, he messaged me and gave me this false excuse as to why he never called. I knew he was lying and I told him that. Finally he admitted to being scared and apologized to me.

A couple of nights later, he messages me and the subject comes up again. Well now he was claiming that he was just confused the night he came out to me ; but he has figured out that he is 'straight'. Again, I told him I knew better and to stop the lying. I told him that if he didn't want to do anything with me , that was fine but just to be honest instead of lying to me. Well he finally admitted that he was "bi curious" but was more attracted to females. I told him that was fine. He then asked me to come over. So I did.

I got there and we visited for a long time, just hanging out. Then finally we went inside and sat down next to each other. I patted him on the back as he was sitting down and just left my arm around him. He didn't object at all. HE complained of being stressed and tensed, so I ended up giving him a full body massage that night (he was fully dressed and nothing happened). But at least he was comfortable with that. I thought that might lead to more but it didn't; and I was fine with that. I wanted him to take his time. Finally he spoke up and said "man, I am just not ready to do anything yet; I'm sure the day will soon come that I will be, but just not now." And I told him that was fine ; that I wanted him to be ready. If something happened, fine and if not fine, we would still be friends. He assured me that no matter what we would always be friends.

Then I hadn't seen him anymore until last night. Last night we were together with some other friends and I could sense that he was very uncomfortable around me for some reason again. Why? I don't know. But I sensed it so I pretty much ignored him and instead socialized with the others.

So I'm not sure where this is going, but it is definitely a roller coaster of a ride..LOL.

 

[rareboy]

Well, you certainly have a bizarre way of establishing credentials for a relationship.

This sounds like the kind of thing a 14 year old would be doing. Making everything into a dare or a joke and keeping up this facade of being 'straight' with one another.

My advice?

Write this off as a totally embarrassing and fruitless experience and the next time you find some guy that is appealing, don't develop a friendship or relationship based on flashing your cock over the phone or making the possibility of sexual contact into a threat or payback on a bet.

Back off from this guy and maybe you can at least retrieve a friendship out of the mess that both of you have made.

 

[More_guy2004]

First of all, we didn't develop a friendship based on flashing cocks. We were friends months before. Secondly, I wasn't trying to establish credentials for a relationship. Thirdly, if you consider joking around as something a "14 year old would do", then you must have a boring life. Most people I know of all age groups like to joke around in some manner. Fourthly, this is not a "totally embarrassing" experience as you claim? Why would either of us be embarrassed?

 

[rareboy]

Feel free to leave advice or comments.

I said "I'll tell you what, I'm so confident you are too much of a coward to send the pic that I'll make this bet. If you send the pic, I will jerk you off sometime we are together!". The truth was, I was hoping he would fall for it and send the pic just so I could see him naked. But he didn't know that. My plan worked. He fell for it and sent the pic. Of course, I continued the "straight" act by pretending that I was scared and embarrassed about having to jerk him off now.

Well the next day came and I waited and waited but no call came. I knew he had chickened out. And that was fine, I just wish he would have been honest and told me instead of making me wait all day. For that reason, I was pissed.

He was so scared that a couple of days went by and I never heard from him. Finally, he messaged me and gave me this false excuse as to why he never called. I knew he was lying and I told him that. Finally he admitted to being scared and apologized to me.

but he has figured out that he is 'straight'. Again, I told him I knew better and to stop the lying. I told him that if he didn't want to do anything with me , that was fine but just to be honest instead of lying to me.

I could sense that he was very uncomfortable around me for some reason again. Why? I don't know.

Just a few extracts from the post that led to my advice. Take it. Don't take it. But look at your motivations for your interactions with him and the way this has all played out. A different, more mature approach might have worked better.

 

[Seasoned]

First of all we didn't develop a friendship based on flashing cocks. We were friends months before. Secondly, I wasn't trying to establish credentials for a relationship. Thirdly, if you consider joking around as something a "14 year old would do", then you must have a boring life. Most people I know of all age groups like to joke around in some manner. Fourthly, this is not a "totally embarrassing" experience as you claim? Why would either of us be embarrassed?

You don't think this is too harsh? You asked for feedback and went off because someone was blunt. I wouldn't have answered you the same way, but by throwing out your issue in an open forum you will receive all types of answers. His was blunt, but honest.

My answer is you should have given him the hand job as promised.

 

[edale54115]

wow, how rude you were to rareboy! YOU asked for comment.

 

[More_guy2004]

Well, honestly I don't think he would have ever "came out" to me in a serious conversation. Who knows. But he did tell me that he had wanted to tell me that long before but couldn't get the nerve to do it.

And sex wasn't the "motivation" for my interactions with him. Like I said we were friends for months and still are. Regardless if sex is involved or not, we are friends.

I think the big problem with him is, he is not willing to accept his own sexuality now. He comes from a very religious background and has it pounded into his brain that it is a sin to be gay or bi. And I think that is why he felt uncomfortable around me last night. It wasn't personal, I think he is just trying to come to terms with it.

 

[aijalon18]

Some people might say leave this alone but I dont think so. See where you can take things. You seem young and sort of inexperienced. maybe you can learn something from this little thing even if it doesnt turn out as you hope. These exchanges are a bit awkward and silly but who cares? You dont always have to do the smart and rational thing if it's all as innocent as this seems.

Some people post here where they are in crazy situations with married guys with pregnant wives and are sending them money. This is all really harmless. I think the only thing you can do is have more face time and see what happens. Youre already out so the hard part is over and you have nothing to lose. But I would be careful of forcing him to anything. I think your gonna have to wait this kid out if you want more than friendship.

 

[aijalon18]

Well, honestly I don't think he would have ever "came out" to me in a serious conversation. Who knows. But he did tell me that he had wanted to tell me that long before but couldn't get the nerve to do it.

And sex wasn't the "motivation" for my interactions with him. Like I said we were friends for months and still are. Regardless if sex is involved or not, we are friends.

I think the big problem with him is, he is not willing to accept his own sexuality now. He comes from a very religious background and has it pounded into his brain that it is a sin to be gay or bi. And I think that is why he felt uncomfortable around me last night. It wasn't personal, I think he is just trying to come to terms with it.

You didnt mention your age but I'm not sure if your friend is financially dependent on his religious family which might make it difficult to come out to the world. You should reassure him that he always has your friendship and support, even if he doesnt want to be with you.

 

[Lube]

Wow, and people say I'm rough on posters.

More_guy, I think what you two guys did was very typical of people who are young and just getting used to their sexuality. Admitting it to yourself and others is very tough. Will my friend reject me? That's always on your mind.

So many times here we see guys who dance around the issue, but never talk about it. CONGRATS to you for actually saying it and getting him to say it. You're miles ahead of most other posters here. That took balls.

You seem more comfortable with your sexuality than he does. The night you gave him a full-body massage, he probably would've been receptive to a hand job if you pushed a little harder (I know I'm going to get flak for that, but I think it's probably true from what I've read so far).

He's scared and he will never make the first move. You're the one who has to do it. The risk, of course, is that it will be too much for him. It's very hard to know when the right time is. I can't tell you when that is; it's something you have to figure out on your own.

So you can either leave things as they are and remain friends (although he will likely retreat further and further unless you drag him out of his cocoon); or you can continue to talk with him and try to get him out of his shell.

But remember: he will never initiate anything. He is too scared.

You (or somebody) needs to show him that gay sex can be pleasurable and emotionally rewarding. That's what he's looking for. Look at how many guys who come out later in life say that they were sexually attracted to men, but not emotionally. Think about that, and where they'd be today if they had that sexual/emotional attraction early on.

 

[TX-Beau]

Let's find out. How old are you both M.G?

It kind of matters. If you're both 18 that's one thing, if you're both 35, that's something completely different.

If you're younger than 18 we can't help you.

 

[On The Edge]

I think he doesn't wanna be pushed to what he feel rather find his space..& figure it out..we all do it differently..u seem
comfortable with it..I don't think he his obviously..I think him saying maybe..is a good sign...

& he was uncomfortable around friends..I think I would be too..If I just came out..& hope that by telling u..his friends won't figure out or find out..

 

[tallguy297]

More_guy2004,

Mate, I've edited out the abuse and name calling from your posts here...

I'm sorry that you maybe didnt like the advice given to you but theres no need to resort to that sort of stuff in your post... all it does mate is lower yourself.

And honestly you are better than that... way better.

Good luck with your journey with your friend... take it slowly and just let him become comfortable with himself first... it sounds to me like you might be the first hes spoken too in such an honest way - and now hes wondering if he regrets it. Sometimes in the heat of a horny moment we do things we mightn't normally do... and for him this just might be one of those times.

Just let things evolve mate... your friendship and support are the things he needs most right now... and if that leads to more well thats great, if not it sounds like you have a friendship that's worth building on.


Edited post - to clarify removal of abuse from post not the post itself.