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my gay life

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xi3100

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check this out im out but i dont tell people, i have a bf yet i am not happy, i dont even want a ltr, i feel i am limited to social events and decision that affect my future career. yet i am too nice, i dont leave him cuz he needs all the support he needs yet i feel like his counselor and i dont know how much i can take. im confused, im sad yet i really dont want to care. today i was chilling on campus, looking at all the guys. yet thatz how far i will ever go with a guy on the streets. Im not bad looking but there is something that makes my life hard and i dont know what it is. if someone asked me whatz wrong i wouldnt know what to say. if someone ask me how they can help i wouldnt know what to say. i want to meet and have a taste as many men i can, yet i dont cuz there are many std's. i dont even have a group to consider mine and i want one. i want to be happy but i am not. is a waste being me when im not doing nothing. I feel i am wasting my time. i guess i want a phone with numbers that i can call people for specific things and not use them. im never happy with what i got. like the friends i do have. they koo bah they aint the type i wanna go out with. i want beauty i want real feelings to be involved. i guess i want friends with benifits. this is affecting me on every aspect and situation. i dont know what to do.
 
u are not alone here.

you have to find out what you want in life.
 
This is very serious. Yes, you should talk to a professional.

And I have a few questions: You said that you have a bf, but do you love him, really really love him? It didn't sound as though you did.

If you don't, have you ever fallen in love? If not, do you know the reason?

Love changes many things, that's why I'm asking...
 
yes i do love him but after being with him a year and 4 month i have come to accept i am not ready for settling with him now. i already talked to him about it but he says if i make that decision i will never speak with him again. in addition i have spoke with many counselors and professionals and yet i still dont got friends i want to hang out. the only problem i have is fear and humiliations, i never had an opportunity to be myself and when i do i have someone i love put me down. is never about me is about the people i love and care that i put my effort on.
 
dont get me wrong my bf is a wonderful person, and he supports me in every way. but his personality is too childish and im a serious business man. my fear that i have is when i speak, i stutter and i find that is holding me back and i get sad. qualities in a friend i want: good looking, masculine yet sensitive, a supporter, with benefits, someone1 who don’t smoke or do drugs; who enjoys spending time outside walking the city, see a movie, talk about life and guys, hit up clubs, drink, and plan trips. Explore the world and meet men. I don’t want to feel leashed up I don’t want to explain people what I am doing. I want to be free and not worry that I am going to hurt some1 feelings. Thatz what I want I want to be free from hurting people emotionally.
 
I can only say this again: you're situation is serious. And by serious I mean even more serious than most of the situations we hear of here on JUB. And the professionals you're seeing are not good enough if they didn't help, so change them. And you are correct, you have to find some good friends, that would help a lot. But where to find them? Well, that's the difficult part. For the time being, force yourself to hangout with someone who makes you feel good about yourself, even if you don't want to be around people. Staying alone all the time can destroy you!
 
Your fear of stuttering sounds like social anxiety disorder. I'm not a professional so take that with a grain of salt.

Also your description of a friend seems like a qualities of a boyfriend.

I'm in a similar situation, though without the BF and not as serious. I don't have many freinds, though I do have plenty of daily acquaintances, closeted (and no one to talk to about it except here) and I'm pretty shy. I know there's plenty of guys in this type of situation- and worse.

You need to speak with a qualified professional about this or someone who you really trust to give you good advice. I also agree with silentalk, you need to get some good friends and a better BF.
 
You will get absolutely nowhere, (with or without professional help), unless you sit down and calm down and talk with yourself first.

Agree on what/who is it that you want. My impression, based on your postings here is that you are looking for 'a classy friend with benefits'. A dude to spend quality time with and enjoy life with, without being tied to him by any promise of monogamy.

If this is what/who you really want, grab the bull by the horns and go looking for your man. If you've got what it takes, you'll get him sooner rather than later and you'll be living most of your dream.

SC
 
all your comments are really helping me, especially yours silverrrcloud thank you , all of you :..)
 
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