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my hairdresser fancies me

T

trikky

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I had my hair cut by a female hairdresser about 4 months ago and we got on pretty well and seemed to have a natural rapport between us. I thought I was just having a friendly chat with a hairdresser, whereas she started trying to open me up into asking her out and mentioned a party she might go to, and other things that left me in no doubt that she was giving me all the openings that any straight guy would latch onto. Not being a straight guy, I didn't latch on and let them go over my head. Anyway when I left she touched me on the arm and said hope to see you soon. I am mostly closeted and not obviously gay (although not everyone agrees on that lol)

Yesterday I had my hair cut again and I'd forgotten all about it because it's a busy salon and there are loads of stylists and I always seem to get different ones. I got this same girl (dominique) again this time and again we had a fantastic rapport and the conversation just flowed between us very naturally and she made comments about how good I looked and at one point asked if I was married. I just said no with no explanation. She made it clear in conversation that she was available and she clearly fancies me, and again I didn't make any move because I'm not sexually interested. She did however mention at one point about all her friends being settled down with kids etc and feeling left behind and that started a few alarm bells off in my head. I do however quite like her as a person and could see her as a good friend/ snuggle buddy.

I don't want to come out to her in a salon full of people, (like yesterday) and I thought about asking her out for a drink so I can tell her that I'm gay but I like her as a person and would like her as a friend. However I'm afraid that if I ask her for a drink, then it will build up her expectations only to shatter them afterwards. My question is am I just creating a possible problem by trying to befriend someone who fancies me as a snuggle buddy/ friend who might go on to develop a crush, even if I am up front with her?

I don't really have any female friends and it would be good to be friends with someone who I have a natural rapport with, but maybe it would be cruel to put her in a situation that might give her false hopes? What do you guys think?
 
So you want to ask her out for a drink. At which point she'll think she's finally got a date. During which you plan on shattering her illusion....sorry, tell her the truth. (Unless you find it uncomfortable, in which case you might wait until the second or third date.)

At which point, you think she'll really think you're good friend material?

Tell her you're gay NOW. And then see if she's still interested in going out for a drink.

Lex
 
^ I agree.

Just tell her you're a homo for heaven's sakes.

Who cares who knows at a hairburner salon.
 
I think u missed the point of the post which was not whether to come out to her but rather whether I am inviting trouble by continuing on try and befriend her after I come out to her
 
If you're really interested in her as a friend, tell her the truth, right up front. That way, she'll know it can only be a "platonic" thing with you. And, after that, you know you have someone you can be Completely Honest with! Then, it would also be O.K. to go out for drinks, with no further "expectations" on her part. ..|

But, if she declines your invitation for coffee, or whatever, at least she is doing so knowing all the "facts". And, if that's her choice, then she's missing out on what could be a great friendship. #-o

Either way, tell her the Truth, and let further things be her fair, though probably "disillusioned", decision. :D

Good Luck with that! And, yeah!, let us know how it goes! (group)

Of course, no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!! :kiss:(*8*)
Chaz ;)
 
Oh ... You might like to post your questions here, too ...

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=272001

Transpogue is also a hairdresser, a very bright, and insightful, Lady, who also happens to be one of our female, and lesbian, fellow JUBbers. She's really pretty, and damned Awesome! :luv2:

Keep smilin'!! :kiss:(*8*)
Chaz ;)
 
There's nothing wrong with attempting to befriend somebody, but your best bet is to clear away the misunderstanding first. You're letting her operate under this misconception, and the longer you let her stay there, I'd say the less likely she is to be compelled to think of you as friendship material.

Lex
 
Ah, the joys of the closet.

As to your question: I guess it depends on how she reacts to your being gay. If she says anything about converting you, run away as fast as you can--and go to a different salon. Otherwise, she might be a great fag-hag. (*8*)
 
After you ask her if there are any cute gay hairdressers in the salon, she'll have no other choice but to lose interest.
 
spencer said:
After you ask her if there are any cute gay hairdressers in the salon, she'll have no other choice but to lose interest.
Click to expand...

Subtlety never goes out of style lol. You don't have to blurt out the direct "I'm gay" line. There's many others ways to let her know without everyone else in the place catching up on it. You just have to take advantage of an opportunity next time she's messing with your hair. She'll kill her expectations and if she's fag-hag material, you'll probably notice right away lol.
 
DonSade said:
Subtlety never goes out of style lol. You don't have to blurt out the direct "I'm gay" line. There's many others ways to let her know without everyone else in the place catching up on it. You just have to take advantage of an opportunity next time she's messing with your hair. She'll kill her expectations and if she's fag-hag material, you'll probably notice right away lol.
Click to expand...
The reason I didn't recommend that is because she already has a crush on him. So, amazingly, she really thinks he's straight.

So if he starts hinting, she'll probably (unintentionally) blurt out--are you gay?! even if he doesn't say it himself. Or even especially if he doesn't say it himself. :D
 
Hey Lube don't be so amazed that someone thinks I'm straight haha. you're right there lube about the hinting. That's the reason I didn't hint. Still I think next time I'll just go for it. I thought after we chat I'd say- hey you know we get on really well, too bad I'm not into girls, although she will probably still say "ARE YOU GAY?" for the whole salon to hear, but it's gonna happen sometime so might as well be now. (still it's better than "we could go shopping" lol) So what do I look out for in a good fag hag. That after all is the aim. However did anyone have an opinion on whether I am tempting fate by befriending someone who had a crush on me or whether I should stay well clear, assuming I have come out to her.
 
Well as I said, if she gives any hints about converting you, I wouldn't be a friend with her. Because then she's thinking there's still possibility sexually. And you totally want to avoid that.

OTOH, if she says, "Oh, YAY! I've got a gay friend!" and hugs you, that's a pretty good sign.

P.S.--Sorry, my "amazingly" comment wasn't referring to you, specifically. Just to some women who seem attracted to men who turn out to be gay. I've met a few in my life. :)
 
thanks for clearing that up lube, it's just I'm not liberace you know haha. But yeah I'll see what happens and take it from there.
 
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