My Own Coming Out Dilemma

[CHUCK905]

Actually your situation doesn't sound all that complicated or unique. Actually if the genders were reverse this could be me. A hundred or so encounters with men - some "exquisite," some memorable, some forgettable. Some one nighters with men, some long-time relationships. A handful of relations with women, all "duds."

So, I consider myself 90% gay. Sorry to be the bearer of this news, but without further info, Dude, you just might be STRAIGHT.

-c

 

[Prestobesto]

Also there seems to be a program that many gays follow when it comes to sex.. the whole top/bottom emulation of hetero sex. It can be quite jarring for someone who spent a long time fantasizing about doubling up the focus on penis/masculine energy.

 

[SteveyBoyLA]

Hmm. If some of your relationships were exquisite with women, why go over to the male side?

I too had exclusively past relationships with women through my mid-30s, but none worked out for me. Not until many years later did I come to terms with my "secret" attraction to men. Generally, my satisfaction with men has for the most part been based on sex. Not intimacy sad to say - I have more experience relating to women on an intimate level. Frankly, the intimacy was basically superficial.

Wrestling with my sexual self worth and sexual identity has been a struggle for me. Resolving both are important before I pursue any kind of meaningful relationship.

Best of luck in coming to terms with your sexual preferences and identity. I know - it's not always easy or black and white.

 

[Lube]

If men are so horrible, why do you keep coming back?

 

[altlover85]

I have always thought I was BI, but have not had a satisfying fling with a man.
anyone have any thoughts, questions, ideas, etc???

I would say you're probably mostly straight. However, I have two questions for you. What was bad about the experiences you had with guys? What attracts you to men?

 

[Lube]

I didn't SAY that the MEN were horrible

actually, I never used the term 'horrible' in any context. the experiences just did not pan out, so to speak.

I know, I'm just trying to get you to think.

If you were straight, or even mostly straight, and had 4 bad experiences with men, would you really go on a gay message board to ask what you are?

Why would you bother with any more men?

Unless, of course, you still found yourself very attracted to them.

So just keep trying out more men. Find men in real life via your hobbies or other interests. Those wshould be a lot more interesting than random hookups for sex.

 

[KaraBulut]

I have always thought I was BI, but have not had a satisfying fling with a man.
anyone have any thoughts, questions, ideas, etc???

Lots of guys have satisfying sexual experiences with other guys but don't consider themselves bi or gay. And there's plenty of gay guys who have really shitty experiences with guys and they still come out of it saying that they are gay.

The answers to sexuality questions aren't always clear-cut.

The real question is- why are you hanging out on JustUsBoys- the internet's largest gay porn portal?

 

[Echoes]

I can see you've had only crappy experiences with men and you're still interested in trying some more, if you're not gay you are at least bi.