my second hookup ...did I screw up?

[socal21]

So I've come to conclusion that I'm not one for "hookups"

This past Tuesday I hooked up with this friend I met through a close group of friends and always found very attractive. Anyway he was drunk I was nervous and he wanted me to top him. Right before I was about to go in, I lost my boner, so I lost the rubber ...he didn't mind we just kept making out naked and touching each other. Then I decided to rim him a bit. As he moaned I decided to rub my penis on his hole to see if I could get hard again. As I did that he pulled my hand in, pushing the head of my penis against his hole. I don't wanna say it went in, because I was flaccid. The little stiffness I would get was in the shaft area, but idk maybe it did a bit. It was dark. I pulled away and just didn't do that again.

I'm paranoid when it comes to these things. I know the guy is a good guy but tends to be promiscuous with the guys we know (that sounds so wrong ) but I guess I did it cause I liked him and thought I should go out of my comfort zone of not ever having sex...I'm still a virgin :/

 

[cocksucker4use]

Hey Man,
I think paranoia is the operative word. It doesn't sound like you penetrated his anus at all, cuz you wouldn't have to wonder. Also, it is not always an easy task to get even a hard dick into a guys butt, even though porn usually doesn't show dudes fumbling for the hole. The guy is still around, you know and can find him, so it wasn't an anonymous thing where you have no idea what's going on with him. Since he messes around with other guys you know, if he had something the word would probably be out there. Sounds like maybe you should try dating a guy and have your first sexual experience that way. So, in a word, no...you did not screw up STD wise. If you're gonna rim and top, and suck dick, etc. you should go to your doctor and get Hepatitis A and B vaccines, by the way.

 

[KaraBulut]

my second hookup ...did I screw up?

It's only a screw up if you don't learn from it.

At some point in this, you're going to have to start taking a more in-control approach to your sex life. It just seems like you find yourself in these situations and you panic afterward. And that's largely because you're not completely comfortable with something about it all. Every now and then your dick seems to have a rebellion because he's not getting any play, which leaves your head to sort it all out afterward.

Getting laid and finding someone to date can be the same thing. They can also be different things. The story that you related here is probably more about experimenting and getting laid. If that didn't work for you, then maybe it's time to start dating and stepping back a bit from being naked in your friends' beds.

Instead of "finding" yourself in these situations, having a better plan for putting yourself out there, going on dates, getting to know guys, moving slower and finding a way to keep little Socal21's needs take care of so that big Socal21 doesn't get so freaked out afterward..

 

[socal21]

Thanks guys. I totally agree with both of you. In my heart I'd really love to meet a guy that would be willing to date, but somehow that's difficult with all the guys I meet. I agree with Kara on this situation being more of an experimental thing, cause 1. I was curious and horny and 2. The guy is handsome. My only concern was that even though I know him and everyone else in the group, I still don't know him well...only what I've seen and what everyone's told me. We hardly spoke afterwards, he only apologized the next day saying he blacked out while we were fooling around, but I guess I expected more :/ ...we haven't seen each other nor spoken since.

Also, I didn't mentioned it at first, cause I didnt think anything of it, but I developed a small irritation on the tip of my urethra. It kinda feels like the feeling you sometimes get after masturbation. I have no discharge nor does it sting when I urinate, but it is a tiny bit red at the end of it...could this be from the rubbing up against his anus or from the grinding we were doing dressed and undressed?

 

[KaraBulut]

...I'd really love to meet a guy that would be willing to date, but somehow that's difficult with all the guys I meet.

How do you meet guys?

I agree with Kara on this situation being more of an experimental thing, cause 1. I was curious and horny and 2. The guy is handsome.

That's normal. A lot of gay guys do experiment with guys in their social circle. With a limited number of gay guys, there is a tendency to experiment within your social circle. As long as it's clear and no one gets hurt, there's nothing wrong with it.

... I developed a small irritation on the tip of my urethra.could this be from the rubbing up against his anus or from the grinding we were doing dressed and undressed?

It's most likely friction rub, especially if he shaves the places that you were rubbing against. If it doesn't resolve on its own in a few days, then worry more about it.

 

[socal21]

I usually meet guys through friends.

As for this irritation, It started I wanna say Thursday, two days after and it's still going now, so this is 5days later.

 

[RaKroma]

You did not screw up anything. I would be nervous on my second time too. Heck, I still get nervous with hook ups. Since you guys are friends and are into each other, is there a way for you to talk to him and share your feelings? Maybe you can arrange a laid-back, alcohol free experimental moment so you won't have any pressures and expectations to meet up to.