My story

[sfcfml]

At the risk of being accused of self-promotion, I'd be flattered if you would read my story, Best-Friend Fantasy Come True, and offer some comments -- maybe here, maybe on the stories site.

Here's the link: http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=257574

The ongoing saga is about a young man who is confused by the fact that he finds both men and women sexually attractive. Sounds familiar? As the story unfolds, the protagonist, Stu, isn't going to be so young anymore. So stay tuned.

I'm posting about it on this board because (1) it is one of the few "bi" stories on the "gay stories" board so you may have missed it and (2) for me at least it is somewhat of a "coming out." Writing the story is how I'm dealing with my discovery (thanks to this website and, surprisingly, places like craigslist) that these feelings I've been having since, what?, age seven are entirely normal and I'M NOT CRAZY!!!! Now, in middle age for goodness sake, I'm learning that I'm not straight and I'm not gay and I'm OK.

The story is basically my story, and my high school best friend's. Some is true (Part I is almost completely true, right down to the lunchroom table and Freshmen dorm shower incidents), some of course is not. Still, it's about me -- my attractions, thoughts, struggles, "first time," fantasies, marriage (Stu gets married eventually, and so does his best friend Kirk), a couple fetishes, etc.

I would truly appreciate your feedback. I'm putting TONS of time into this story, and I expect to do so for many more months. I stopped for a while thinking I could and should be doing more "constructive" things with my time and yes my writing talents. But now I've started up again, recognizing that this is very, very important to me and is actually quite constructive.

But for some reason I want and need to share it with others. The "OMG this story is SO HAWT!" comments on the story board are FANTASTIC feedback and they keep me going. But if you read the story you'll see there's much, much more going on that me helping you get off, though the thought of you getting off because of me REALLY turns me on.

Anyway, ahem. Something tells me many of you will see some of yourself in Stu and maybe Kirk and the other characters, and hearing that from you would help me a lot.

I, like many of you, just need to know I'm not alone. I'm married and happily so most of the time. I have no intention of leaving my wife. I love her dearly and am extremely emotionally attracted to her. We're best buddies and fantastic life partners in so many ways. And yes we still have sex.

Yet, I've had these feelings for years. Many of you on this board have, too.

Very recently, like in the last month, I've acted out on these desires twice with two other married guys. First times, EVER. It's been 100 percent safe and it will continue to be so, but I'm now on this journey and there's no turning back, and I know I need others.

I should've done it years ago. Seriously. I'm breathing better. Weird.

"Best-Friend Fantasy Comes True" is my way of dealing with all this. Maybe, to a degree, the story is my way of grappling with what could have been had I been born 20 years later or had Al Gore invented the internet 20 years earlier. . Yet, had I been able to travel the "gay" road, something tells me I'd be cheating on my BF with a woman and wondering "what could have been" had I been able to go that direction. Argh!! It's all so complicated!!

Sometimes on my morning runs I laugh at how bizarre this all is. Sometimes I cry. All I know is that I am how I am, and I'm not going to change, and I need others.

I'd be interested in your thoughts and appreciative of your time.

Thanks.

 

[AngelFromAbove]

Is your wife aware that you're having sex with men?

 

[rareboy]

Others will say, 'how predictable', but I have to suggest that you consider speaking to a therapist.

At the moment, your wife is living your lie. You're cheating on her. Pure and simple.

You are likely going to get more and more reckless in your behaviour.

If she is your best friend, you wouldn't be doing this to her.

It is going to destroy you, her and others someday.

Get some real help to sort your life out.

 

[TX-Beau]

Argh!! It's all so complicated!!

Not really. You made a commitment, then you broke it. Genitalia is irrelevant.

Why don't you try running this by her, she has a right to know, there's no justification for lying to her.

I'm sure you wanted more empathy here, but personally, in this situation, I pretty much just feel for the wife.

 

[youngnihilist]

its unfair to treat a wife like a "fag hag"

yes, a lot of gay men get around great with women. emotional best friends. do everything together. maybe even sex if the situation is right.

but calling them wife is unfair to them

 

[Eagle653]

Guys, look, the OP did not ask for your judgmental opinions on his fling with other married men. He asked for you to read his ongoing story in the JUB Story Forum, if you choose to. If you don't choose to, that's fine with everyone--including the OP.

As an aside, not everyone's life is neat and tidy and predictable along purely gay and straight lines. Perhaps his wife even knows--many do. Perhaps she doesn't, but in any case, it's none of our business.

Whether you want to believe this or not, lives are complicated. Coming out can be complicated as well as confusing. I don't know one person who did it perfectly and had it all figured out by puberty. So, please quit being so judgmental about a situation you know nothing about.

Rant over.

 

[conrad]

Thanks for that post, Eagle653. In my life I have had just six partners, three males and three females, all in long term relationships.

I was surprised, and yet pleased, to discover that "other side" of my own sexuality when I was just fifteen. I thought of myself as a pretty regular guy and was very pleased when I got my first introduction to sex with a woman. I had come to love my partners before we ever had sex; I have been a happy and faithful husband for many years.

But, I can honestly say of all of my former sex partners that I loved them then and I love them still.

Men who discover that repressed side of their sexuality after they have married are faced with problems I have not had to deal with. Whatever accommodations they make are their business and I certainly would not presume to judge.

Life is choices and not all men are as content and comfortable in sticking to the promise of "forsaking all others" when they marry.

The OP is asking for input; he will have to sort things out in his own life on his own. Cut him some slack!

 

[rareboy]

^ So.

Did you serially cheat on them?

You are right. The OP was asking for input.

I read his post. And the story.

It didn't change my viewpoint.

Or my right to offer an observation.