My Story

[Zzzzoot]

I've had a lot of stress over the past 5 months and I'm gonna try to get it off my chest. I had originally planned to tell everything but that got too long (I stopped at 17 hundred words) so here's the short version:

I'm bi (leaning towards gay) and a senior in high school. I came out to one of my best (straight) friends Jamie about a month ago. He's cool with it. He's the only one I've told so far. Awhile ago we were both high and I gave him a blow job. A few days later we were both drunk and we gave each other blow jobs. He doesn't remember either of them. I'm not sure if I should tell him.

Last night Jamie and I were hanging out with this girl, Ashley. I was hoping to get a blow job (my first blow job as far as Jamie knew) and I had brought along a condom incase it went further. I was nice to her all night long, I gave her my jacket (and froze myself), and I even paid for her ~ twenty dollar meal (I work as a cashier and hate my job, that's a lot to me). Not only did I not get any that night she started hitting on Jamie and he had the gaul to ask me for the condom. At the end of the night she told him he should text her. Jamie probably figured out I was pissed at him because he told me he wouldn't if I didn't want him to. I was furious at the time so I told him to ask me again later because I knew I wouldn't be reasonable. I was so mad I almost told him that he gave me a blow job while drunk without telling him that I gave him one too.

Sorry, I meant to post this in "Coming Out, Relationships & Bisex Talk". Could a mod please move it or how do I move it myself?

 

[star-warrior]

Sorry, I meant to post this in "Coming Out, Relationships & Bisex Talk". Could a mod please move it or how do I move it myself?

Firstly, welcome to JUB I hope you'll find the support and advice you're seeking here, and also find new friends to talk and interact with!

I've moved the post over for you.

WRT your message, I'll just say that not getting what you wanted is part of life. He's his own free agent and what he wants to do is his of his own choosing. You may make your relationship with him worse if you remind him of what he's trying to cope with - sex with another male friend - if he's trying to selectively forget. Was he trying the girl to assert his masculinity again? Folks at your age are often insecure about themselves. Don't ruined your friendship by expecting too much..

 

[youngnihilist]

Come on, he remembers those incidents with you. He's just choosing not to talk about them. Which means he's curious and closeted and bringing it up could cause trouble. Or maybe it'll lead to realizations and closeness.

 

[KaraBulut]

"Boy was a drunk last night. I don't remember a thing".

The universal excuse for bad boy behavior.

He remembers. He just doesn't want to talk about it. If you bring it up, you'll just wreck your friendship.

Looking at this objectively, you were going to get some from this girl. He got a shot instead. A friend would have wished them well or offered a 3 way.

However, the green-eyed monster got the best of you. The question is whether you got jealous because your friend got a shot at the girl (and you didn't) or because you wanted another shot at your friend?

Or both?

The girl was just trashy. And tacky- tell her to bring her own damn condoms.

P.S. Good for you for using protection.

 

[joeG23]

Yep, he remembers. Never worry about the girl.

 

[rareboy]

3 Beer queer.

But if you're having trouble sorting out your sexual preference, he likely is too.

Just don't fly into a snit because the girl chose him and not you. Jealousy is never a becoming trait.

Least said, best done at this point.

 

[Lube]

The girl is totally incidental to the story. You can't be jealous over something you don't really want.

You want him. He wants you. He's not sure of himself (as everyone else here said--he remembers!).

You've got to hold his hand as he tries to accept himself.

If you do him again when he's drunk, try to educate him about being gay and accepting himself while he's still drunk. Eventually, one hopes, he'll start "remembering" as he begins to accept himself.

Or send him here. We'll knock some sense into him! Can't wait for our next "Question from a Straight guy" thread, LOL.

 

[texan_slant]

If you value the friendship, you kind of have to let it go for now and not push the envelope;

It doesn't sound like Jamie has come to terms with his sexuality yet. I'd be there as a friend to listen and guide him through it if need be, and perhaps let the experimentation fall into place.;

Remember to set your expectations low, with no expectation that he might not ever come around again. The downfall here is that if he is actually straight, you might suffer through the danger of falling for him.

With regards to the girl, you have to let it be also, and not let your feelings (jealosy, envy, etc) get the better of you.

 

[jaysizzles]

However, the green-eyed monster got the best of you. The question is whether you got jealous because your friend got a shot at the girl (and you didn't) or because you wanted another shot at your friend?

Or both?

I believe it's the latter in this case.



Ashely was not into you...she is an inconsiderate class-less skank....and so is Jamie for that matter. He thinks you are gay though...so he probably figured "why should I give up a piece of available ass when presented to me?"...he's a horn dog..selfish and a user. I will give him some credit for at least noticing your feelings were hurt...but he majorly failed as a friend by asking for the condom and her text info while you were still technically on a date with the girl. Friends don't make moves on other friends dates...plain and simple.

I'd bet he remembers the bj's with you but won't admit it because then he'd have to face his own confused sexuality issues...which he's not ready to do yet...especially since he does seem straight. I'd take it from his actions with Ashely that he's subconsciously sending you a message saying "I'm straight...but you can blow me when I want you to."

Be cautious with him...he will use you if you let him and he won't return the feelings that I suspect you have for him.

 

[Zzzzoot]

Thanks for all the advice.

Oh, and just to clear things up. We're both 21

Whenever I get sad I can kinda switch between sad and angry really fast so I think the main reason I was mad about her going after him was because I was sad that she thought he was hotter than me. I'm really insecure about that especially because I agree with her. I realize that looks aren't everything but still...

Also he's done a lot of stuff before me or that I haven't. I've only been to the beach once and he's been several times. I didn't even know what alcohol smelled like until about 4 months ago and he's been getting drunk for years (he's been 21 for awhile). I know it shouldn't matter but I wanted to have sex before him.

He didn't ask for her info, she asked for his. But he told her he couldn't text her because he won't have a phone for a week and the reception is bad at his house anyway. (it's the truth)

I wasn't sure that he blacked out either. He'd only had 2 beers the second night and he was saying he was really drunk. He drinks beer a lot but he said it was a different brand than he normally drinks and that's why he got really drunk. He was saying that even before we gave each other blow jobs

I don't want to be mad at him. He stands a chance with Ashley and I don't and I wish I could be happy for him, but I can't help the way I feel. If I could I wouldn't be gay.

I don't think he's using me. I came out to him about a month before I gave him a blow job and when I did he specifically told me to not try anything with him. Plus we live in the south and he's really conservative so I'm surprised he didn't just stop talking to me after I told him. He's actually been spending about the same amount of time at my house.

 

[tallguy297]

I don't think he's using me. I came out to him about a month before I gave him a blow job and when I did he specifically told me to not try anything with him. Plus we live in the south and he's really conservative so I'm surprised he didn't just stop talking to me after I told him. He's actually been spending about the same amount of time at my house.

Hey zzzzoot,

Welcome to JUB mate... and thanks for posting!

Its confusing as hell when somehow freindship gets messed up with sex... especially now since you trusted this guy with your biggest secret. But, ironically, I have a feeling he's trusting you with his too.

You need to take your time here, otherwise nothing good will come of this situation... you'll lose a freind and so will he.

I dont think hes using you, and I dont think hes drunk. My guess is that hes found a way to answer some questions of his own and hes doing it in a way that says hes not as ready as you are to be honest with himself or those around him. It doesnt guarantee that hes gay but it sounds like hes at least questioning.

So the key here is to sort out what you would want in his sitaution... time to work it out or pressure and a freind throwing things in his face he just mightnt be ready to talk about just yet.

Be patient... but dont be abused. You arent a sex toy, you arent simply around for his pleasure when he wants. If this becomes a regular occurance it might be time to talk. Till then mate, the less said - especially in anger or sadness - till hes ready to talk, the better.

 

[aijalon18]

Chances are your friend is not really physically hotter than you. But the fact that you are much more insecure and he isnt makes him attractive. I bet it's his confidence that attracts people to him more than just his looks. Often the most popular and sought after people are not the most beautiful they just have confidence and give off that energy.

This girl sounds so tacky. She lets you pay for her food then makes moves for your friend. She sounds like a rotten skank. I would forget about her and try to strengthen your friendship. But I would call him out for trying to fuck this girl who totally played you.

 

[KaraBulut]

I'm bi (leaning towards gay) and a senior in high school.

Oh, and just to clear things up. We're both 21

Takin' your time on graduating, I see.

 

[rareboy]

^ Sighs....

Sure sounded like the OP and the 'bf'/'gf' were about 16.

 

[aijalon18]

I feel like the whole thing is made up now honestly.

 

[Zzzzoot]

Chances are your friend is not really physically hotter than you. But the fact that you are much more insecure and he isnt makes him attractive.

I know for a fact that he doesn't think he's hot. Once before a girl was gonna have sex with him (it didn't work out) and he made the comment "I guess there's something attractive about me". And I've told him before that he was hot and he said "I wish".

Takin' your time on graduating, I see.

he's been getting drunk for years (he's been 21 for awhile).

Sorry, I keep forgetting that sarcasm doesn't translate into text very well. I'm a bit of a sarcastic ass in real life so that's a constant issue for me.

I wish it were made up.

Thank for all the advice.