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My straight friend just made me feel like a loser

wastingmymind

wastingmymind

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He texts me "Hey, wanna watch Date Night, or is there someone you're romancing?" I feel like I have to find someone now.

Do gay guys even do movie dates nowadays, or ever? I remember going to city walks and fucking, although not at the same time. I've never been on a real date with someone, nor do I imagine as a gay person eating in front of another gay person.
 
>>>He texts me "Hey, wanna watch Date Night, or is there someone you're romancing?" I feel like I have to find someone now.

Huh?

To me, it sounds like a polite invitation, or at worst, a gentle dig. My friend from college and I would occasionally razz each other. If I made fun of him, he'd retort "How's your lovelife?" (It was non-existent at the time.) If he made fun of me, I'd respond "Been published yet?" (He hadn't been.) It wasn't cruel - it was just friendly banter. Now that I'm partnered, and he works for a major magazine, obviously, we don't use those phrases. :)

I have no idea why this comment would make you feel you have to find a boyfriend, but I'd also state that whoever you end up with probably isn't going to be very good. Not because you're unworthy or whatever. But because anybody who goes out to "get a boyfriend" usually goes under the belief that "any boyfriend is better than no boyfriend", and they end up with some loser...which disproves that theory pretty quick.

Do gays date? Of course. You don't have to, if you don't want. You can just hook-up, or hang out with friends, or stay in your room and play Warcraft. Your call.

Lex
 
Yep...me too...I don't understand why it made you feel like a loser. Do you think he intentionally tried to make you feel bad?

idk...if a friend asked me to watch a movie and I had no other plans, I'd be happy to have something to do.

As for dating...yes...guys date and eat in front of each other. Perhaps the guys you are fucking at the city walks don't know you want to catch a movie too...maybe you could let them know, or find other guys that want to date...that are not just into hooking up.
 
I also think you're reading too much into it.

Wait a minute...if he's asking you to watch TV with him, that must mean he's not getting any either.

I think it was thoughtful of him to ask if you wanted to hang out.

Relax.
 
G-Lexington said:
>>>He texts me "Hey, wanna watch Date Night, or is there someone you're romancing?" I feel like I have to find someone now.

Huh?

To me, it sounds like a polite invitation, or at worst, a gentle dig.
Click to expand...


Uh, yeah it sounds to me like he's saying "Do you wanna go watch a movie with me, or do you have something more important to be doing?"

He's teasing that you'd be too busy dating someone to go out on a "date" with him. . .because he isn't seeing anyone either and has nothing better to be doing.



See, if you weren't all insecure about it, you could have said "Sure, we can go. I'll bring my inflatable woman with me, too."
 
Most people at one point will go through the "date a person for the sake of dating". If it actually gets past 2-3 dates, I'm usually shocked. Then again, either person could just have really low standards also.
 
I don't care but I do care. And I can hang out with my straight friend at any other time. I just feel like some events are better spent as dates.
 
Here's a thought.

Why don't you work on asking someone out on a date?

As others have said, it is very common.
 
wastingmymind said:
Do gay guys even do movie dates nowadays, or ever? I remember going to city walks and fucking, although not at the same time. I've never been on a real date with someone, nor do I imagine as a gay person eating in front of another gay person.
Click to expand...

In Toronto, eh?

Next time that you are in a nice restaurant on a weekend evening, look around. Do you think all those tables with two guys are business dinners?
 
^ I know. This made me laugh, actually.

As far as I know, as a homo, I eat the same way as straight people.
 
rareboy said:
^ I know. This made me laugh, actually.

As far as I know, as a homo, I eat the same way as straight people.
Click to expand...

It's not eating that's different from straight people, it's what you're eating.:eek:
 
>>>I don't care but I do care. And I can hang out with my straight friend at any other time. I just feel like some events are better spent as dates.

Perhaps so. But if you felt that way, you shouldn't blame your straight friend for not having the same vantage point. You should say "That sounds more like a date activity. How about we go see a hockey game/go shopping/go to the museum instead?"

Lex
 
I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that there are some other deeper issues here.

Just how social are you? Do you have any friends that you just hang with? Do you live alone or with your parents? What is their relationship? Did they encourage you to have friends? Are you an only child? Have you been diagnosed for depression?

Let's start with these.
 
i think your friend was just sending you a friendly text message. laugh it off and keep it moving.

reading in between the lines too much and especially picking and choosing what you want to hear is a real turn-off, even for friends.

joke back or just say no and then watch the movie with him next time. it's not that complicated and remember, You've Been Training For This! The day where you will be able to accept a comment or invitation from a friend and be able to react appropriately. Good Luck.
 
I guess I thought of the text as a trigger or a sign from above that maybe I should actually do activities with other gay guys that don't involve fucking.

And yeah, I'm half of people my age who are too exhausted with work and are only on the Facebook level with people that I used to have K-Val moments with.
 
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