The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

My Straight Friend Said the Oddest Thing ...

RicanDAB

RicanDAB

Batteries Not Included
Joined
Oct 28, 2006
Posts
1,870
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Location
Long Island
Hey guys ... I found this interesting, and I wanted to bounce it off objective minds for opinions. It has been on my mind for a few days.

The other day, I came out to one of my oldest friends as many of you know, and he was very supportive. However, he said something during the conversation which for me became one of those "things that make you go hmmm" comments. During our conversation, I told him that one of our former classmates was also gay (not the mutual friend from who I got permission, this is another guy), and that this one I was sure did not care who knew and besides we lost touch long ago. However, I reminded him that this guy and I were roommates for a little while which he remembered - and I clarified that he and I were never intimate, but because we lived in the same house I had the opportunity to notice that since he worked out I thought he did had a nice body. My friend replied to this (verbatim):

"Yeah, I kinda thought he was cute .... [very small gasp] I mean attractive."

:eek:

I quickly glossed over this comment with something else, but in my head I was like "Oh NO he didn't". Next day sure enough, I called our mutual friend and shared this with him - he found that comment unusually odd too, coming from someone that is apparently straight ... AND married.

Do you guys think this was an odd response from a straight guy? Might I add that my gaydar has gone off with him in the past but I never really made a big deal of it especially after he married over 11 years ago. But now this comment, it makes me think. I am NOT gonna pursue this with him, and IF he in fact is attracted to men on some level, I will let him talk about it first.
 
Yeah, maybe he was curious. I've got straight guy friends who have admitted that another guy was good looking, but never heard one called cute by a str8. HMMMMMMMMMMMM. Well at least you'll be there for your friend when his closet door comes flying open.
 
hi all,

first post here, but I wanted to weigh in on this issue since it has come up in my friendship before.

I am out to my best friend and he is VERY supportive. He's married now and this hasn't changed any support. He doesn't make me feel like I'm all that different; I mean we discuss my dates and what not like we would his (when he was single). He still comes to me for advice in his marriage. The thing is, he'll weigh in on guys. He'll say things like "hey, he's cute you should get his number." or "hey do you think he's good looking?" or "he looks like he might be your type." He is also there if he thinks someone is mistreating me or if a guy is a jerk. We talk about my dates and relationships (what few I've had) very openly. There was some discomfort at first, but not anymore

I think your friend, Rican, is similar to mine; he is very supportive. If a guy is secure with his sexuality, 90% of the time he has no problem discussing things like another man's attractiveness or a m/m relationship. With my friend he is just curious about how different people interact and I'm almost a guide for him. I think a lot of gay/bi guys have a problem of "wishful thinking" and interpret too much in statements from their straight friends particularly those they are close with.
 
My Best Friend is very straight and he's told me before that he thinks some guys are nice looking. I feel your friend was just caught up in the moment and just followed maybe your guide with the word cute ? My Best Friend at times tries to use my vocabulary. He does sound like a good friend to me !

Regards,(*8*)
 
One of two things.

1) He is at least bi curious, on the straight-bi-gay scale.
2) He is okay with his body/sexuality enough that he can recongize other guys are hot/attractive even if he isn't sexually attractive to them. The word cute can have multiple meanings, it isn't a common straight word though, but even straight people say strange words that they normally don't do ;)

One more thing, he is married, even if he is bi-curious let sleeping dogs lie. For all you know he and his wife are into threesomes, thing is you don't know, you don't know anything.
 
Everyone who has written so far ... THANKS for your insights.

This is exactly what I was looking for and I am very grateful for your feedback. Just to be clear, I am not waiting on the sidelines for him to come out ... I make no further assumptions about him based on his choice of words. Not that I used the word "cute" around him in the conversation anyway .. I know that for sure.

Ruffboi in particular, your worded line of thinking is on point similar to what mine was on this issue eventually. And I lean to assume that he's one of those guys whose vocab slips with the wrong word at times. Case in point - years ago we were ordering hamburgers at a diner one day and when the waitress asked how did he want it cooked, he replied "raw" .. extremely confident in his answer .. The waitress and I were like "excuse me??" ... he repeated "raw" and then a second later realized with embarrassment that meant to say "rare".

I still kid him about that to this day ... ;)
 
Just because someone is straight doesn't mean they can't think guys look good. I'm as gay as a person can be and I would still call some women cute. A straight friend of mine slapped me on the ass a few weeks ago...I have no idea why but I know he's not the slightest bit gay.
 
Impossible to say without hearing the tone of voice, inflection or knowing your friend. For example, has he got a sense of humour? The little gasp could have been ironic or mock theatrical. Or he may have been trying to appear simpatico by referring to the attractive guy in terms that would resonate with you.

Time to wheel out my favourite Joe Orton quote from 'What the Butler Saw' - "Marriage excuses no-one the freaks' roll-call."
 
I've been called handsome, cute, guapo, lindo, chulo, beautiful, hot by many straight men [and i'm pretty sure of their straightness]. I don't gasp and think are they gay I just accept it as what it is... a compliment.

Other than that I really have no response. He may be gay he may not be. I hope he is not if he is married and because it's great to know that beauty can be appreciated without sexual desires attached.
 
Gay or curious...straight guys do not use the word 'cute'. And if they do, they don't notice and correct it to 'attractive'. I think you're taking the right attitude though...he knows you're gay, if he wants to open up he will, if in fact he is curious at all. Which he is ;)
 
CGHJ said:
Gay or curious...straight guys do not use the word 'cute'. And if they do, they don't notice and correct it to 'attractive'. I think you're taking the right attitude though...he knows you're gay, if he wants to open up he will, if in fact he is curious at all. Which he is ;)
Click to expand...

Then again my best friend is straight and he calls me cute, so yeah some straight guys can use that word, though what I find weird is that he said it to you about a guy he probably doesn't know that well...
 
straight guys know the score of which other guys are good looking or not -

that statement was no big deal at all
 
That indeed begs the question:

What if a straight guy refuses to say when asked whether another guy is goodlooking, claiming that they would not know whether that guy is goodlooking or not. Is this a front for a fear of acknowledging or being confronted with same-sex desires?

This did not happen with my friend, but I have seen it happen elsewhere.
 
He just made a comment and used a word most heterosexual males don't use that often. I think all this reading into it is a bit overboard.
 
Most of us tend to use the language of our environment.
If you worked in a hair salon dominated by women you probably would express yourself quite differently from someone who worked at construction.
The same for a guy who might be the only male, or oldest male, in a family of women.
I beleive "cute" is more appropriate for younger people. Maturer people usually use handsome or beautiful (or very pretty) or just plain good looking. It's also used for puppies or kittens (or other animal babies).
But the use of "cute" doesn't necessarily make a person gay or straight.
Enjoy your friendship with him, but don't get sidelined into questioning his choice of adjectives or motivation. In your heart you know what he is all about.
 
idk it could be weird depending on the person... i have a few straight friends who would outright sit back and check out guys with me... yet aren't gay lol

it really just depends on them and if that's typical for them
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top