Need advice: Back-and-forth with Ex

[Seasoned]

I'll weigh in on what might have been wrong with your relationship, not enough face to face confrontation. Many, many couples need couple's counseling to learn how to do it.

 

[sixthson]

Your post is not enough to form an opinion, but you have posted alot about your relationship in the past. You have well titled this. You keep ending it with him, then going back to him. When you are not with him, you speak of him. Obviously, you have unresolved issues.
Let me say this as kindly as I can. From reading what you have written in the past, you come across (to me, anyway) as being selfish. You break up when you want to, you pursue him when you want him, you are not getting the right kind of sex i.e. anal sex, you have family and depression issues. It has always sounded to me like your troubled relationship had a lot more to do with you than him. What he wrote was well thought out, without anger and he obviously cares for you, but he is ready to move on. It sounds like you are not willing to let him do that because you keep coming back into his life. Either work things out with him or set him free, once and for all.

The one thing he said that really struck me was that you broke up with him over the phone, right after having been with him and while he was dealing with a death in his family. Does this not sound selfsh to you? And why does he love and know your family so well, but you have spent almost no time with his? There is give and take in all relationships and one-side ones are usually miserable for at least one party.

 

[TX-Beau]

I sincerely, truly apologize for what follows:

Honestly, I was interested in keeping the lines between us open. I need to do my own thing; I didn't want to respond to your message because I don't feel like I can properly express myself right now. I don't want to burn any bridges here but when you finally say It like you mean it, I feel free to do the same.

...I want to keep the lines open but I can't be bothered with you...

...I don't want to respond, but I'm going to respond...

...I don't want to burn any bridges so here's some emotional blackmail, grovel or I'm going to hate you...



He sounds like a child, ignore it.

 

[texan_slant]

UM don't bother responding unless you want more bcok-and-forth!

Also, I have a 'genreal' comment -
<sgh> too much Facebook these days...

 

[KaraBulut]

The only way to remain civil with an ex is to move forward and let go of the unfinished business from the past.

And that's why so few people end up being friends with their exes- because it's very hard to let go of the past.

In this case, it would be better to move forward and don't look back.

 

[IANSAND]

The only way to remain civil with an ex is to move forward and let go of the unfinished business from the past.

And that's why so few people end up being friends with their exes- because it's very hard to let go of the past.

In this case, it would be better to move forward and don't look back.

Perfect.

Whether or not you're in the wrong or he's in the wrong...it doesn't matter. Admit that mistakes were probably made on both parts and move on without regret. Forgiveness is easier said than done however, it truly is the best medicine for this type of problem.
Just let go and leave each other alone. It'll save you a whole lot of trouble in the long run. I had a long term ex with the continual back and forth and all it did was tether me to unhappiness and ruin. Sometimes you just can't be friends and sometimes leaving them in the past is the best solution. And honestly, even though we agreed that we still cared about each other, being friends was not an option. And now...for the first time in a long time...I've moved on and am genuinely happy.

 

[Ninja108]

I have to say in this case, it's best to just move on. You got the stuff off your chest that you needed to, now it's time for you to look forwards,not backwards.