I have major major issues.
I had this really close friend, my best friend...the best friend ever. He was straight. It got to the point we were sleeping in each other's beds at night (we are now roommates)and not even touching each other, we just loved each other. One night, he came to a gay bar with me, and went home with a boy, got his number and they started talking. He tells me he might be gay. So then I really start crushing on him...
The boy comes over for the weekend, they lock themselves in his room and non-stop fuck. I mean, seriously non-stop. I hear it all weekend. I have never cried so much in my life...you guys. it hurt so bad. Why isn't he with me, if we have been best friends so long and he might be gay? am I not the logical choice?
I'm not ugly, I'm very smart, and a definite catch. People like me. He on the other hand is not a catch...But I want him anyways...
So the guy leaves...he says he will never talk to him again. They still e-mail. He lied to me. We make up, and try to be friends again. We actually hooked up a little bit and he said things like "I don't want to find out if I'm gay with anyone else" and he tells me he loves me. I love him too.
I get hurt by him all the time still. constantly he makes me feel like shit now. Says I'm a catty person and malicious. we're not the same. I still help him out by paying his rent when he gets behind and buying him other things also (he pays back, but..)
Now, we go out to gay bars and when we are ready to go home he won't go home with me. He goes back to the bar and meets boys and goes home with them...He did this to me last night. It hurts sooo bad. I need him out of my life, but he is my roommate and used to be my best friend. I try to be mean, but really I guess he did nothing wrong but he knows how I feel I have told him everything. He said he would have never hurt me if he knew I was hurting so much, but STILL he does it.
I need to separate myself from him and focus on so many positives in my life. I am in an excellent graduate school program at Columbia and it is all I want to do but the distraction of this boy is overwhelming you have no idea! I have amazing friends in new york. my 23rd birthday is coming up next week. I should be happy. I'm nothing but miserable. He took my life away from me in a sense. I am a happy person, I have never felt so sick in my life. Crying right now as I write this.
I'm sorry but this is just so good to write to people who I don't know and I just want to hear what everyone has to say. What do I do about him? It is too early to be great friends again and just accept it. The jealousy will still kick in for a long time! And I live with him, so of course I will know what he is doing!
I already tried to evict him. We both cried. It's hard, but it would be ideal to just cut him out of my life. That's really what is best.
I wanted to stop helping him with money and everything but I feel too bad. He has to use my computer and everything. I just can't do it.
I try to push him aside, but he keeps crawling into my head and does random cute things like cuddle with me or random nights he will be my (boyfriend) again. It's really deceiving.
It's not fair to HIM, I know, if he doesn't like me. But it's the worst feeling I've ever experienced...ever. I can't even explain it. I think I'm in love, I have never been like this before.
Please help and if you've had any similar experiences, tell me what you did and how it worked thanks.
I had this really close friend, my best friend...the best friend ever. He was straight. It got to the point we were sleeping in each other's beds at night (we are now roommates)and not even touching each other, we just loved each other. One night, he came to a gay bar with me, and went home with a boy, got his number and they started talking. He tells me he might be gay. So then I really start crushing on him...
The boy comes over for the weekend, they lock themselves in his room and non-stop fuck. I mean, seriously non-stop. I hear it all weekend. I have never cried so much in my life...you guys. it hurt so bad. Why isn't he with me, if we have been best friends so long and he might be gay? am I not the logical choice?
I'm not ugly, I'm very smart, and a definite catch. People like me. He on the other hand is not a catch...But I want him anyways...
So the guy leaves...he says he will never talk to him again. They still e-mail. He lied to me. We make up, and try to be friends again. We actually hooked up a little bit and he said things like "I don't want to find out if I'm gay with anyone else" and he tells me he loves me. I love him too.
I get hurt by him all the time still. constantly he makes me feel like shit now. Says I'm a catty person and malicious. we're not the same. I still help him out by paying his rent when he gets behind and buying him other things also (he pays back, but..)
Now, we go out to gay bars and when we are ready to go home he won't go home with me. He goes back to the bar and meets boys and goes home with them...He did this to me last night. It hurts sooo bad. I need him out of my life, but he is my roommate and used to be my best friend. I try to be mean, but really I guess he did nothing wrong but he knows how I feel I have told him everything. He said he would have never hurt me if he knew I was hurting so much, but STILL he does it.
I need to separate myself from him and focus on so many positives in my life. I am in an excellent graduate school program at Columbia and it is all I want to do but the distraction of this boy is overwhelming you have no idea! I have amazing friends in new york. my 23rd birthday is coming up next week. I should be happy. I'm nothing but miserable. He took my life away from me in a sense. I am a happy person, I have never felt so sick in my life. Crying right now as I write this.
I'm sorry but this is just so good to write to people who I don't know and I just want to hear what everyone has to say. What do I do about him? It is too early to be great friends again and just accept it. The jealousy will still kick in for a long time! And I live with him, so of course I will know what he is doing!
I already tried to evict him. We both cried. It's hard, but it would be ideal to just cut him out of my life. That's really what is best.
I wanted to stop helping him with money and everything but I feel too bad. He has to use my computer and everything. I just can't do it.
I try to push him aside, but he keeps crawling into my head and does random cute things like cuddle with me or random nights he will be my (boyfriend) again. It's really deceiving.
It's not fair to HIM, I know, if he doesn't like me. But it's the worst feeling I've ever experienced...ever. I can't even explain it. I think I'm in love, I have never been like this before.
Please help and if you've had any similar experiences, tell me what you did and how it worked thanks.
