Need Advice, Life Help, Etc.

[blackbeast19]

Fun-sized beast in his 20's here. Hope you guys are into long reads, cuz this one's a bit of a doozy.

I moved to Alabama from Washington state when I was a kid because my dad had family down here (honestly, I think that's the ONLY reason. Mhn. ) For the past 8 or so years, aside from the few friends I've made, I've absolutely hated it but I didn't have the means to do anything about. In all my time down here, I've seen HOW different I was from...pretty much everybody. My time in high school passed by like a blur, and college was hell for me. Moved around to 3 different campuses before I finally got exhausted with it all and just gave up. Caused a few setbacks because I didn't realize that my mom needed my financial aid money to stay stable. Almost lost our house a few times and went for weeks without power or water. Tried to find a job, but absolutely no one anywhere would hire me because of my lack of experience. And for a guy in his late teens, that's just friggin' depressing.

In that period, I basically stayed at home being depressed all the time because there was no way for me to get ahead. 2 years ago, my younger sister took a trip to Seattle, our home town, and said she loved it there, but had to come home because she somehow ended up in a shelter and without a job, so our mother freaked out and bought her a one-way ticket back here. Back to square one.

It wasn't until a year later that I FINALLY landed my very first ever job with a company that originated in Florida. Unlike every other prospect I had, they hired me immediately after the interview, and with 2 bucks more than the average minimum wage. Needless to say, I was ecstatic. Over time, I gained a reputation for being one of the most "hardworking, 'adorkable' employees ever known." Hehe. And on top of that, my mom landed a job making twice what I make every week in a day. First thing she did was send my younger brother to Seattle, where he got a job and his own apartment. Things were finally looking bright.


And then, things got bad with my home life: my younger sister had an emotional breakdown. It got to the point where no one knew what to do with her; she would sporadically call 9-1-1 hoping they would 'fix' her. I would wake up at 3:00 am to find her halfway out the door with bags packed and walking in the middle of the street. Later I found out through mom that she had herself admitted to a mental ward. Had they not sent her over to a hospital for a serious injury they caused, we wouldn't have gotten her back. Unfortunately, she's been pumped up with so much medication that she isn't 'her' anymore. She seems to be slowly getting better, but she can't be left alone without constant supervision. No telling when she'll be back to normal, if ever. That forced my mother to quit her job in Atlanta and stay at home.

Present day, I've put in a request at my job for two weeks of vacation time the second week of June. Got the plane ticket booked and I plan on staying with my brother in Seattle and finding a job there to help him out. Recently heard that minimum wage is planning on going up to $15 an hour, so that's a HUGE plus for me. Would've left sooner, but I thought it best to wait until I get at least one year's worth of work experience. Might look better on my half-baked resume. Meh.

For the first time in my life, I've finally found something to look forward to, and it's all I can think about. I haven't seen the place since I was a kid, so it's kind of exciting to see how much everything has changed. The problem is, I don't really wanna burn any bridges with my boss; if anything dramatic happens that forces me to come back (God forbid, because I'm NEVER crawling back here! )

I'd like to think I have a good standing with my current employer, and I don't wanna do anything now or later to make them change their mind about me. Mom told me to just take my vacation, and while I'm up there, THEN call my boss and tell him "thanks for giving me my first start, but I quit because I'm in a better place now, 'kay bye." Or just don't tell him at all. Personally, I don't think that's very professional (or legal), but I've been so excited that I may have told 1 or 2 coworkers about the trip. Not the part about me quitting, though. Just a "visit." Though, that might get misconstrued, and work its way up to his office somehow.

TL;DR: Life in Mobile is shit. Has been, will always be, so I'm moving to Seattle, my hometown. Don't wanna piss anyone off, so how should I break it to my boss that I'm leaving and not coming back? Trip starts in less than a month.

I kinda wanna keep this updated. Posted this mostly to vent, but seriously, the wait is practically torture and I need something to distract me. Typing this out was nice.

 

[IamNoah]

I read all of that.

I lived in the Pacific Northwest for two years. (Where I met hubby.)

And we now live in the South (where I'm from).

So...just give your boss your two weeks notice or whatever. Doesn't have to be a big thing. Or did I miss something? But you were just venting...so...yah....I'll stop...

 

[palbert]

If you are stay in Seattle tell your company you are staying there for personal family reasons and will not be returning to your job.

Note that if any Seattle company calls your present employer for references it will already be aware of your plans.

 

[medic1]

Mate, i just want to give you one of these.........................

 

[KaraBulut]

Before you make a decision about moving based upon what you think will be a better situation, you need to look at the cost of living and what your job prospects will be. The reason that minimum wage is being raised in some areas is because the cost of living and rents are very high in different parts of the US.

Something to think about: re-read your original post and pay attention to how many times you're making decisions based upon the needs and problems of your family and not based upon your own needs. While on the short-term it seems admirable to want to take care of your family, you would be better off getting an education, developing a stable life with a good job. Then you will be in a better place to help your family do the same.

 

[checkinthingsout]

Before you make a decision about moving based upon what you think will be a better situation, you need to look at the cost of living and what your job prospects will be. The reason that minimum wage is being raised in some areas is because the cost of living and rents are very high in different parts of the US.

Something to think about: re-read your original post and pay attention to how many times you're making decisions based upon the needs and problems of your family and not based upon your own needs. While on the short-term it seems admirable to want to take care of your family, you would be better off getting an education, developing a stable life with a good job. Then you will be in a better place to help your family do the same.

I second this. You need to really evaluate the cost of living, because I am sure it is probably double in Seattle than in Mobile.
You need to evaluate the job market as well! It may be easy for a person with no degree to get a job in Mobile, but in a big city like Seattle, you will not be able to compete without one, and you will be back in Mobile before you can say Roll Tide. Get your degree before doing anything. It seems like you have some credits completed, and it will open so many more doors for you and your future. You will have more transferable skills for moving to any city with a college degree.

Plus, college educated guys are way sexier .

 

[Seasoned]

Wait until you get there. Check things out as to your prospects. Don't burn bridges. When you are forced to tell your boss because of reference checks let him/her know that you need to stay in Seattle in order to help out your sibs and that you are sorry you won't be returning any time soon and that you hope you'll be able to receive a good reference.

Alternatively, you could quit before you leave, again, citing family issues, and therefore give notice.

 

[blackbeast19]

Before you make a decision about moving based upon what you think will be a better situation, you need to look at the cost of living and what your job prospects will be. The reason that minimum wage is being raised in some areas is because the cost of living and rents are very high in different parts of the US.


Something to think about: re-read your original post and pay attention to how many times you're making decisions based upon the needs and problems of your family and not based upon your own needs. While on the short-term it seems admirable to want to take care of your family, you would be better off getting an education, developing a stable life with a good job. Then you will be in a better place to help your family do the same.

^This. The only people I've ever lived with my entire life IS my family, so I'm sort of a sheltered kid. As far as this goes, it's gonna be my first step away from leaning on my parents. And eventually, away from family in general. The moment I do, I can finally start surrounding myself with (or pulling away from) certain people so I can decide WHAT it is I want. I just don't feel like I can do that where I am now.

I second this. You need to really evaluate the cost of living, because I am sure it is probably double in Seattle than in Mobile.
You need to evaluate the job market as well! It may be easy for a person with no degree to get a job in Mobile, but in a big city like Seattle, you will not be able to compete without one, and you will be back in Mobile before you can say Roll Tide. Get your degree before doing anything. It seems like you have some credits completed, and it will open so many more doors for you and your future. You will have more transferable skills for moving to any city with a college degree.

Plus, college educated guys are way sexier .

Not gonna lie there; I love a bit of nerdy talk in the bedroom. But in all seriousness, it honestly took FOREVER for me to get a job here because of my lack of experience. Plus, everyone down here I know who had a job knew other people who were friends with their friend's family's cousin, or whatever. Being a 'foreigner', I was outside of the loop, so connections weren't that easy to make in the first place. So, it was hardly a cakewalk finding work here. If it's even harder to compete as you say, then for me, nothing will change much, seems like.

As far as cost of living, rent, etc., as scary as it seems it honestly isn't that big a deal to me anymore. As it stands now, money's always gonna be a problem no matter where I go, so I won't stress about it too much. Or, more than I already am. The way I see it, I'll go in poor, so why not give it a shot? I'll just have to cheapskate my way though with ramen and tap water.

Expenses? Should be fine as long as I find a new job in a month or so. Took my siblings around that time. Gonna split the rent with my brother 50/50, work on finding a roommate, take up a side gig and scrape up some extra cash if I need.

The one thing I am sure about, is that the people I'm with, the environment I'm in now, doesn't make me feel as productive as I should or could be. Might do me some good to make a big risk like this.

Phew.

 

[Craiger]

At your age, I would take the risk and go to live with your brother. Having a degree is preferable, but not everyone needs a degree to make a living. After you are settled and have found a job to support yourself, find an adult educational school or a trade school that could give you training in a field that you like. Most trade schools will try to help you find a position in your field. There are some very rich plumbers, electricians, contractors, etc. that may not have that college degree. If you find a field you like it will help boost your desire to continually raise your standards and living conditions. What ever you choose, good luck.

Craiger

 

[checkinthingsout]

Not gonna lie there; I love a bit of nerdy talk in the bedroom. But in all seriousness, it honestly took FOREVER for me to get a job here because of my lack of experience. Plus, everyone down here I know who had a job knew other people who were friends with their friend's family's cousin, or whatever. Being a 'foreigner', I was outside of the loop, so connections weren't that easy to make in the first place. So, it was hardly a cakewalk finding work here. If it's even harder to compete as you say, then for me, nothing will change much, seems like.

As far as cost of living, rent, etc., as scary as it seems it honestly isn't that big a deal to me anymore. As it stands now, money's always gonna be a problem no matter where I go, so I won't stress about it too much. Or, more than I already am. The way I see it, I'll go in poor, so why not give it a shot? I'll just have to cheapskate my way though with ramen and tap water.

Expenses? Should be fine as long as I find a new job in a month or so. Took my siblings around that time. Gonna split the rent with my brother 50/50, work on finding a roommate, take up a side gig and scrape up some extra cash if I need.

The one thing I am sure about, is that the people I'm with, the environment I'm in now, doesn't make me feel as productive as I should or could be. Might do me some good to make a big risk like this.

Phew.

1. I like your spirit of optimism, but I dont know why that doesnt translate into ambition for a better economic situation. I know it may be hard now with living in Alabama, but you are only 20, so you should view it as temporary. You could theoretically get a degree/training in 2-3 years and then move out there with a bit of a plan. Believe me it will work a lot better.

2. Instead of relying solely on "connections" for a job that will leave you "poor", you can rely more on your degree and work experience to start a career you might enjoy instead of just a job that is just barely getting you by.

3. As someone who seems to be living paycheck to paycheck, Living expenses should be your number 1 priority. Assuming you do move, it can take you up to 3 months to find a minimum wage job. According to payscale.com the cost of living overall is 17% higher in Seattle. The average household income is also 15% higher, but that is because there are more people with college degrees. You will likely be one of the people dangerously close to the poverty line if you move because you don't have a college degree.

4. Also, if you decide to get a degree sometime after you move there, you can be sure that college/training will cost more in Seattle than in Alabama. And you will probably be making around the same amount of money. That means less work hours(less income) and school that costs more (more expenses).

5. Get a degree in something, in Alabama, then move to Seattle. That is what I recommend for reasons stated above. Remember you are only 20 so you have plenty of time to see the world, even beyond Seattle, but it can be a very cold place for people with no skills or training A little bit of pain (school/remaining in Alabama for 2 more years) now, for a huge reward (financial freedom from 25 onward/career/purpose driven life) in the future.

 

[altlover85]

Here are my 2 cents. As someone with a college degree, but who made some less than intelligent career decisions when I was younger, I would not simply leave without telling your boss something. Ideally, you take the time to really research things and try to do some networking now. You should almost always have a job before you leave one. I quit a job I hated (and stupidly burned bridges) and thought I would be able to find something and then ended up unemployed for 2 and a half years. Currently I'm working a part-time job and can barely pay the bills.

My point is, make sure you have a plan and ideally have a backup plan. Finding a job is not always easy, as I'm sure you're aware and I would hate for you to make this move and then be stuck.

I also second education, but make sure that if you do get a degree, it's in something that you feel passionate about or something that gives you a lot of options and make sure you do as many internships as you can, so you can get as many connections as possible. The degree only gets you part of the way, the connections generally cinch it for you.

Good luck!

 

[checkinthingsout]

Here are my 2 cents. As someone with a college degree, but who made some less than intelligent career decisions when I was younger, I would not simply leave without telling your boss something. Ideally, you take the time to really research things and try to do some networking now. You should almost always have a job before you leave one. I quit a job I hated (and stupidly burned bridges) and thought I would be able to find something and then ended up unemployed for 2 and a half years. Currently I'm working a part-time job and can barely pay the bills.

My point is, make sure you have a plan and ideally have a backup plan. Finding a job is not always easy, as I'm sure you're aware and I would hate for you to make this move and then be stuck.

I also second education, but make sure that if you do get a degree, it's in something that you feel passionate about or something that gives you a lot of options and make sure you do as many internships as you can, so you can get as many connections as possible. The degree only gets you part of the way, the connections generally cinch it for you.

Good luck!

This makes 2 well expressed votes for education....so will you be re-enrolling in the fall?

Lets get an update Blackbeast!