need advice on my living / friend situation

[stutter032]

I live in a college suite with 5 of my friends. There are 2 doubles and 2 single bedrooms. My best friend here for the last 2.5 years convinced me to live with his friend, so he could have a single. I was friends with the kid also so i agreed. now there both really close and purposely alienating me. a few weeks ago after a party i told my friend i feel like iv been replaced and he told this to my roommate. i really am bothered by the whole thing. there both still nice and cool to me, but make it clear I'm not on the same level. i don't want to change rooms/suites because i like everyone else and all our friends party here. but i feel like I'm going throw a brake up or something. it's really weird but there just fucking with me. I can't get away either, if I'm in my room they both come in. Or my roommate will tell me stories about him and my friend of that day. I'v been really quite lately just trying to stick to my self, or just been angry. Either way i don't like it and it's been making me into a crazy person.

thanks for reading all that ^, and for any feedback.

 

[mygaybuffet]

This situation calls for fire! Fight fire with fire! They'll rue the day they pissed in your cereal.

 

[stutter032]

like they laugh louder when around me, and always doing these inside jokes. and then if they go to eat or something they invite me. but it feels like a catch 22. if i don't go eat there like what's wrong with you or ok then. if i do go i'm just tagging along. I'm part of a fraternity and when i come back from the house there like o why didn't u invite us or w/e. but i need that space. or there like your 2 good to hang out with us, were not your "brothers". iv been a member for longer then i was friends with this kid and it's never been a problem until now. i'm being made into the asswhole. so i stay quite but there picking up on it. i don't know why there doing this, but there fucking with me and smiling and pretending everything all good at the same time.

i'm just lost on how to win, or get away, or...

 

[altlover85]

Have you talked to them about it?

Maybe they are just fucking with you, but maybe they're just oblivious.

 

[Seasoned]

Aren't you more than a little confused as to why they're not rooming together? Do you have a crush on your friend?

I think it's time you work on getting a new best friend. This might be nothing more than your friend making a new best friend, which, of course, can lead to you feeling jealous, scared, angry, lonely, etc. No one enjoys being replaced, but remember the only person you can control is yourself.

The word triangulation with all of it's negative connotations came about precisely to describe what you are going through. I come from a large family, but three of us are only three years apart and grew up close. We changed alliances on a daily basis, which was hard on me when I was the one out of the picture. Looking back, I know I would have had an easier time if I had had more friends.

Why don't you suggest switching rooms? The change would make it easier to move on. I'm sorry your friend has dumped you but tries to make it seem he hasn't. Having one's reality denied is really mental abuse if deliberate. I don't think that's the case here. He has want he wants and I think he's just insensitive. You're caught in a strange situation because any complaints come across as being adolescent or as a jealous lover. Healthy distractions are really the best answers, switching rooms, hitting the books, new interests.

Best of luck as you stay mentally healthy.

 

[62624rd]

u r in a frat. that's the problem. been there done it.

 

[racer2438]

you just need to go and do ur own thing, keep them at friends but at a distance. BEing at school ur bound to find many new ones.

this our motto----friends come and go in ones life, buts it the ones that stick with you through think and thin that are the ones that count and value the most.

dont worry about these 2 as some as u find some new friends you will be just fine. they may be jealous of somethign and r just rubbing it in. so dont let it get you down...

 

[stutter032]

i don't know what to do with out causing drama, or anything. i'v never been a clingy kinda person. if some one doesn't want to be around me i'm not going to force it. like other people have posted i need to find other things to do with my time. it's so much easier said then done. just to clarify i'm not crushing or anything. it's just we both were very close over the last few years. i'm just in a awkward situation and just lost. i feel like i'm playing a game. i have to say the right things and act the right way around them. they put me in these situations were they want some sort of jealous reaction from me, and i have just been flipping them around. it's exhausting

 

[Telstra]

I guess you felt left out and felt uncomfortable and not being yourself.
You want peace and quiet and with someone close but they are loud and playful.

Time to find a quiet nicer place to live ?

 

[stutter032]

I guess you felt left out and felt uncomfortable and not being yourself.
You want peace and quiet and with someone close but they are loud and playful.

Time to find a quiet nicer place to live ?

no not at all, just saying i'm trying to show there not getting to me. but also trying not to act like everything fine. just been doing my own thing. when they try to like attack me i handle it well but it's draining

 

[AlmondMilk]

Perhaps I missed it, but did you do what altlover suggested and talk to them about it? I know you told your friend you feel replaced, but maybe you need just a good one on one talk. Grab some lunch or something and ask him what's up. Perhaps it's not the best approach, but it would be killing me too if I had friends like that.

 

[TX-Beau]

OK there's something else gong on here. A guy you were good friends with drops you and then proceeds to fuck with you? Why?

If the two of you just drifted apart I don't see the motivation for being vindictive.

Also of they're spending all of their time in your room, why not suggest they room together or spend at least an equal amount of time in his room - which after all is only fair.

And when they ask you why, you can say with complete honesty that you 'd like a little privacy now and then.

 

[stutter032]

my friend couldn't stand his old roommate. he used to talk shit and ditch him all the time, he would do little things to mess with him. he was nice to his face and we didn't have any problems with him at first. but it seemed the more my friend talked about him and messed with him the more the rest of the group had problems with this kid. he did alot of things that weren't cool but we def didn't give him a chance. it feels like hes doing the same with me. so i don't want to talk to him and let him know hes getting to me. other suite mates have pulled me aside and said that he's been acting weird. last night me and my roommate went to a party and the bar and had a good time. as soon as we came back he ditched me. idk trying to get over it. i see how my roommate is stuck up this kids ass. i hate to think i used to be the same way. i don't even want it back like it used to be. i just don't know how to act. like what to say and everything. iv just been trying to act like i'm not bothered or anything. it's hard..