Need help feel lost

[DonSade]

Sounds like the guy you were with is a selfish manipulative prick. He doesn't deserve you dwelling on his last words. He only said that to hurt you and was probably a late attempt to keep milking you if you felt guilty enough to continue to cycle. He probably hurt your self esteem too and made you even more insecure. My advice: start working out, exercise helps to make you feel better (and makes you look better too, what are the cons? really!). You'll meet new people at the gym which may include gay ones. Put yourself out there. Clubbing isn't everyone's cup of tea so, just live. The more available you seem to the world, the better the odds of finding someone worth spending your time and energy with. You sound like a pretty energetic person. My guess is you just have to go out and experience life now that you're free so to speak. It's a new life, try new things

 

[Horschallen]

Many of us understand how difficult it is to let go someone you have grown fond of over the last 6 years. While you seem to acknowledge the need to move on to other people, you do still find it hard. Try counseling to give you guidance as you address your feelings and your new ventures. Try diversifying yourself and bars is not the only venue. Try other online sites such as the olderonline dot com or biggercity dot com, etc. People belong to these types of groups because they cater to specific preferences of the people who belong, subscribe or lurk into.

Best of luck with your journey.

 

[Seasoned]

Write off everything the 26 year old said. He is unfortunately a user and purposely said hurtful things to indicate a permanent break. They are not true.

You are guilty of being vulnerable and overly generous.

There are no certainties in life, but it is time for you to make some changes.

Meet some new people through gay organizations, or websites as mentioned above.

It's a process that will include joy and pain. Go with the flow and realize that no feeling lasts forever. Good luck to you.

 

[RicanDAB]

Travelingman, you've received some good advice on here, which makes me glad that I referred you to the forum! Your priority right now is to seek out avenues that will help you with getting over the pain this guy inflicted on you, through professional counseling or support groups that will address this directly. Only then will you be able to heal your scars and then focus your energy on embracing friendships that will not take advantage of or belittle you. You have to start liking yourself enough to prevent others from bringing you down like this guy did. No one but yourself convinced you of the comments he made. Strong self-confidence prevents anyone from tearing you down with words. If anything, this guy's words are clearly reflections of his own defects.

The important thing to remember is that you're not the first (and sadly not the last) guy to go through this type of pain. On some level we have all been there as gay men. There's a light at the end of the tunnel and as long as you believe that you will be very happy once you get there.

 

[Eagle653]

Boy, people can get vicious when the gravy train pulls into the station, can't they?

Pay him no mind--he's a lazy idiot. Karma will bite him one day and, when it does, you'll be happily settled with someone else.

I'm especially sorry that he did such a mind-game on you in his departing comments. The best way to get past that is to start making friends with people who'll give you some validation. Take stock of all that is good about you and remind yourself of those qualities constantly. Most of all, don't give any more power--especially in words--to the conniving user. What he told you was one more lie, and the most hurtful ones at that.

Take care. The good news in all this is that you're rid of him. Now you're free to be happy!

 

[andy12]

He has basicaly used me for all this itme as I took care of all his needs for these 6 years. I told him I could not do this any longer and needed to make the break. He only used me because in parting he told me that no body would want me since I am 46, an old pervert, ugly, fat and don't have a big enough package.

He's obviously an ungrateful asshole. So his opinion doesn't count.

I feel lost as I am afraid to go out and find that I will not meet or that nobody will want me. I am leaving a 22 year marriage and a child and I will leave alot to only be alone.

Do you not have visitation rights?

 

[rareboy]

problem is I am having a very hard time getting over him. Need to meet people and do things to get my mind off him also

There's your answer.

I think that because you have been so closeted, you ended up missing out on a lot of really good guys and just clung to this little user instead.

Now, get on with living the rest of your life.

 

[spencer]

Read about the other jubber who was so completely and utterly used and that loser stole his shit (no offense)

It totally sucks man and I feel for you. Just keep trying, that's all I'm doing right now too.

That guy has to live with himself, that's a big punishment if you ask me.