The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

need help

G

guitar

Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Posts
4
Reaction score
0
Points
0
hello all. I have joined this forum the other day, although I have been browsing it for a while. I have been somewhat confused lately. I have for the most part been attracted to women throughout my life. I looked at straight porn (some exceptions) and thought thats what I wanted. Maybe thats just what society wanted me to think. Recently I have been feeling attracted to guys, thinking to myself that they are cute or even sexy. I have felt it before, but over the last few weeks it has been more common. I have even been looking at gay porn and imagining myself being in a relationship with men doing sexual things. I keep thinking about giving/receiving sex with a man or various other things. I have almost been obsessing over it. I have never had a girlfriend or boyfriend, but I have had some close friends, mostly male. Back when I was in highschool i wanted nothing more then to go out with a girl or something. At two different times women who I would have loved to go out with, asked me out. I turned them down, later unsure why. One other even asked me for casual sex, practically begging me. I wanted to so badly at the time, but something in the back of my head said no, just the same as it did when the two girls had asked me out. I haven't had sex with anyone yet. I have just been noticing guys a lot more recently. Like today at a college class, I just couldn't stop looking at this good looking guy. I think he was giving me dirty looks, but I just couldn't stop staring. I feel like I get along with guys better, and usually have more to talk about with them. Am I gay? Or is this just be a phase? I just can't stop thinking about ***** (didn't really feel comfortable typing the word out not sure why, sorry). Any help would be great, i'm just feeling confused.
 
Screw labels.. They are just ways for society to better identify us and us better understand ourselves, but labels are not definite and everyone has different definitions of what they mean. If you wanna do something, do it. Don't let society dictate what you want. We all want what we want. And so what you wanna guy to get hot with, do it cuz it feels good. Let it not mean much more to what your sexual label is. If its hot its hot, right?? And in response to what you said about it being a phase? Who knows, and who cares..Sometimes people feel things in spirts for people, their girlfriends and/or boyfriends. Feel strongly about them one day or one year and differently the next so who knows if you'll stop finding men attractive but don't bother trying to figure out why, just enjoy it... Hope you do get to have sex with a guy, tell us how good it was, okay? haha ;)
 
Yeah, the world would be better with less labels and putting stigma on sexualities that deviate from the norm (not straight).
If you don't mind there might be questions that might clarify some parts of your sexuality. Like, when you looked at straight porn were you looking at the guy or the girl and in high school when you were "attracted" to girls did you have that can't stop staring at a girl?
Yeah last semester in college I actually had the same experience of staring at a guy in class and he actually lived on the same floor in my dorm. Yeah I felt sorta weird, staring at him and hoped he didn't catch eye contact. I remember having to take one of my midterms exams next to him and it was a very anxiety-ridden experience.
Anyways there's no need for some deep analyzing with your life, if you have a feeling then go for it, although I'm not one to talk since I've never had a relationship either.
But from your post it seems like you almost have it figured out yourself. Hope you enjoy the new dimension of your life!
 
Welcome to JUB and congrats on your first post.

You may be gay or bi- you're a late bloomer. None of will ever know exactly where you are on the gay-bi-straight scale until you take that first step and experiment with a guy.

But I suspect you already knew that.

So, what's holding you back?
 
thanks for all of the replies. It feels good finally telling someone. I see what you mean about labels. I don't think I would really want to be labeled. When I looked at straight porn it started out just looking at the girls. I still do occasionally, something about girls feet I sort of like. But at some point I started noticing the guys a lot more, and focusing on them and their "goods". I can't remember clearly about high school, I may have had my eye on a few girls, but nothing much. I don't recall any "staring" but I can't remember for sure. I really did feel bad staring at that guy the other day, i'm sure it was making him uncomfortable. This is all pretty new to me, but it somehow feels right. I'm not entrely sure whats holding me back.
 
Hi guitar, and welcome from me too. It's good to have you here, and glad you're posting.

As the others have said, it's hard to apply labels sometimes. You might feel like one of those cases right now, and that's pretty understandable.

Just give yourself permission to do some experimenting with guys and some reflection on what it all means. You'll figure this out. The more you can have a come-what-may and a I-am-what-I-am attitude, the sooner it will become clearer to you whether you're gay or bi or whatever.

Good luck to you and keep in touch with us here, and let us know what's going on.

Welcome, again!
 
thanks for the kind welcome. I really appreciate you guys taking time to help me out. So how would I go about finding a guy to experiment with? I really can't think of anyone I know who is openly "gay". I am moving to a new area in the next few weeks, maybe that will help. I've never really been open sexually with anyone before, no matter what orienation I thought I was at the time. When the other guys were talking about this sort of thing in school, I usually stayed out of the conversation.
 
I just remembered about my account on here so decided to post some more. An entire year has passed. I am just as confused if not more then when I first posted this. These "attractions" haven't gone away. I have been wondering if these feelings are the result of my ocd. I wasn't really aware of it but some friends brought it to my attention that I have it.

I really don't know what to do. I just want to be happy and have someone in my life. But i'm afraid to date someone when i'm unsure if i'm gay or straight or what I am. Since my last post a lot has changed in my life. I moved with my family to a new area. I turned 21. I finished college.

I actually signed up for an online dating site for a test. I wasn't brave enough to message any other guys but I messaged a girl and we ended up meeting for drinks. And the whole thing just felt wrong. I ended up talking to her guy friend who worked at the bar more then I talked to her. He was just so interesting and pleasant to talk to. She was okay but I was much more interested in her friend. I think it upset her, we haven't spoken since. Anyway I really need your help guys. Just some guidance, maybe some ideas of what I should do to figure myself out.
 
guitar said:
I really don't know what to do. I just want to be happy and have someone in my life. But i'm afraid to date someone when i'm unsure if i'm gay or straight or what I am. Since my last post a lot has changed in my life. I moved with my family to a new area. I turned 21. I finished college.
Click to expand...

There's not much to add to the advice that you were given a year (nearly to the day) ago.

You're in analysis-paralysis- overanalyzing your situations/feelings and paralyzed into inaction because you're not ready to deal with what you might find.

You have the right approach- meet someone for drinks, talk and get to know them. The first step is to do it with a guy. The rest is just a natural progression to kissing, touching and experimenting with each other's bodies.

Just an insight... there are alot of guys who are bi but there's not this much anguish in their curiosity. It's almost always the gay guys who battle their feelings to this degree. You're still young but really- it's time to bring this to a resolution.
 
First of all: (*8*)

I agree you are in analysis paralysis.

Just do it.

I wouldn't recommend a "dating" (hookup) site, and certainly not CraigsList if you want a little tenderness in your first experience.

Meet someone through a hobby or gay club. Are you in/near a big city? I have a blog post about meeting Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top