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need opinion on straight guy

D

devlon

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Hey guys -

Need opinions/advice -

I've been going to this bookstore/cafe for about a year now off and on just to study, etc. A couple months ago there was this hot middle-aged stud there and this guy was just beyond hot. I heard him mention his name to the barista and then found him on Facbeook and just sent him a message saying he was cute and he had a nice ass. Turns out the guy is married and I was embarrassed and basically didn't talk to him anymore and stopped saying hey to him at the bookstore. But, every time I see him in there now, he speaks to me and comes and sits at my table and just talks and talks. Is that just him being friendly or maybe more, esp since he knows I like his ass -

How should I move things fowrard?
 
If anything is goiing to happen just let it progress naturally..Dont rush it..Get to know him..And let him lead the way..Who knows? He might just turn into a good friend!
 
devlon said:
Hey guys -

Need opinions/advice -

I've been going to this bookstore/cafe for about a year now off and on just to study, etc. A couple months ago there was this hot middle-aged stud there and this guy was just beyond hot. I heard him mention his name to the barista and then found him on Facbeook and just sent him a message saying he was cute and he had a nice ass. Turns out the guy is married and I was embarrassed and basically didn't talk to him anymore and stopped saying hey to him at the bookstore. But, every time I see him in there now, he speaks to me and comes and sits at my table and just talks and talks. Is that just him being friendly or maybe more, esp since he knows I like his ass -

How should I move things fowrard?
Click to expand...

I highlighted the important parts you should pay attention to.

If someone I didn't know out of the blue sent me a message on FB saying, "Hey, you're cute! Nice ass!" or words to that effect I'd block them right away. Its even creepier that you eavesdropped to get his name then FBed him.

His reply to you was that he was married. Normally this is the polite way of saying, "GO AWAY. NOT INTERESTED" and yet he is sitting with you afterwards over coffee and chatting. So, mixed messages there, but maybe he's willing to appreciate that someone finds him attractive and still maintain a chatty coffee-bud sort of friendship.

Honestly, although he is cute and all that, he is married and I think you are letting an infatuation cloud better judgement. There are a world of available people out there. You don't need to latch on to this one.
 
I agree with halifax, that you confronting him with only having overheard his name is a bit creepy.

But he doesn't seem bothered by it.

He's married. He probably doesn't have interest beyond finding you interesting to talk to. So if you don't mind having interesting conversations from time to time, just do what you are doing. The longer you know him, the more you will understand about him (and he you).

If you truly are interested in him only as a romantic partner, and not as a friend, then you will probably be disappointed. Then stop going to that bookstore when you know he usually goes - or find reasons to excuse yourself.
 
he didn't say he was married - i just saw his status on facebook - and since that time he's invited me to his shows - he's a singer - and continues to offer to buy my coffee and sits and chats - i'm not remotely infatuated, just wondered on how to take the next step in determining if there could be a bit of straight guy play
 
What do you talk about?

Mention that you're gay again and see how he reacts.
 
He's probably trying to not make things awkward for him, people handle it in different ways. If he likes that cafe I don't think he should stop coming just because you complimented on his ass. I don't think that's creepy, all you did was complimented, so he's probably flattered by it but has no intention on doing anything with a guy. You mentioned he's a singer so he is more than likely an attention whore, as someone mentioned.

If you messaged him and was like "Hey I wanna suck your dick, been eyeing you for a while." That's probably a different story. Still though, the fact that you looked him up by eavesdropping is the creepy part.
 
ask him if he's going to wear tight jeans to the show. and if he says yes, the say "oh? now i'm coming.... and i might even attend your show."
 
let things evolve naturally, if you push you might get a bigger rejection! if he's into anything he'll get to it, since he knows you admire his ass ;)
 
Well for starters do figure out if he's actually married. I have a friend on Facebook who say's that his relationship status is married and that the lucky bride is his car - so that means absolutely nothing.

Secondly if he is, back off. It doesn't matter if he's unhappy, gay trapped in a straight marriage whatever. It never, never under any circumstances ends well if one of the parties is married.

Assuming that he isn't hitched, try to find out if he's gay. Let him make the first move or if your impatient try flirting with him and see where it goes.
 
Well does he wear a wedding ring?

I think this is the right time to back off and let him pursue you.
 
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