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Needs Some Advice!!! Have a young "admirer" :(

Lostlover

Lostlover

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Need Some Advice!!! Have a young "admirer" :(

This is what I wrote in a PM to a friend. But I would like to ask for more peoples' opinions.

I do feel for the kid if he is indeed gay and might be "sorting" things out and finding out about himself. So it's a very delicate situation for him.

But this is the situation I wrote about in the PM to a fellow JUBBER:

This has been happening for months now.

There is this 14 or 15 year old boy at the gym. And I have been noticing for quite some time stares and glances from him. I always see him in the pool when I'm leaving the lockeroom and have to walk into the pool area to leave to the lobby. And he ALWAYS stops swimming and turns around and just stares.

He'll be swimming and then stop and then cross lanes over this water barriers they used to divide the pool and just float above while looking at me. I feel sooo small and feel so weird the way he looks at me. My friend/exercise partner who is completely straight said the other day "why is that f@ggot looking at you whenever you're in the pool area?" I wasn't shocked he used that word (he's an alpha male type), but in shock I just said that he was my neighbor (which is a lie).

Yesterday he was talking to this girl, another high schooler, and I walked out the locker room and the girl gave him like a heads up because he had his back to me and he turns around. I of course act like I didn't notice them silently communicating. And as I walk to exit the pool area to get into the gym's main lobby, I see their reflection in the glass door's reflection and both are staring at me behind my back.

He's skinny (lanky) dark brown hair. And his hair is down to his jaw. I don't know if it's because he's feminine or if he's trying to be stylish by having the longer hair.

I am wondering if I should pull him aside and ask him what his problem is or if he has anything to say? It's just creeping me out.

What would you do?
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If he's 14 or 15 the best advice is IGNORE him. Regardless of the fact that he might be attracted to you and know what he wants, the legal system will see that in a completey diffferent light. By no means encourage him hopefully he'll move on when he see's that you pay him no attention.
 
I know that's my first inclination. But I'm naturally curious and maybe he does know me or something, I just need to know what's the matter.
 
Well, I may have wrongly assumed there was some sexual tension in this situation. You just need to be very cautious in that regard[-X.
 
Lostlover, you need to leave that one alone. Bruce300 is right. You don't know how this can turn out if you decide to confront him. He's underage and unless he physically intercepts you, don't even bother approaching him about this. Do your best to continue on with your other business.
 
Lostlover,

I don't know you therefore I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and believe that you are super sweet guy that I think you are. There is no wiggle room in this situation due to the kid's age. In this case your generosity and curiosity have a good chance of landing you in jail. There is a certain line in the "gay world" and this is it and its not intelligent to cross it. Even though your intensions are good, they can bing you nothing but trouble.
 
Yeah, just ignore him. You may want to let him know that you know he's been looking at you but just giving him a heads up or a smile and a nod and continue about his business. That way he'll know he's being seen and he might tone it down. And there's nothing wrong with just acknowledging him since anyone else you make see contact with seems to do it.
 
You're the object of a gay boy's crush and he's probably soaking in all the visual info on you that he can so he can take care of matters at home by himself. Don't talk to him. Go about your business and just be yourself.

And maybe, just maybe, instead of being worried or curious or uncertain, just let yourself feel good about the fact that you're going to be forever etched in this kid's mind as an attractive object of fantasy. :)
 
DiaryOfAMadman said:
Lostlover,

I don't know you therefore I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and believe that you are super sweet guy that I think you are. There is no wiggle room in this situation due to the kid's age. In this case your generosity and curiosity have a good chance of landing you in jail. There is a certain line in the "gay world" and this is it and its not intelligent to cross it. Even though your intensions are good, they can bing you nothing but trouble.
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I think with all the advice, which has been unanimous thus far, that ignoring is the best way to go.

And it's so opposite of the way I was raised. I don't just ignore people like this, but I will act as if he doesn't exist which sounds cruel but it is the best solution.
 
Personally, I would just not acknowledge it when it happens. There is a fine line in ignoring the action and the person. I wouldn't make a point to act as if he doesn't exist, but I would do absolutely nothing to make conversation, etc. unless it was in due course and then I would NEVER ask him about any of that! The kid has a crush on you most likely! That's actually a compliment. It doesn't mean you have to do anything. Confroning him could be emabarassing and devastating to him! Just go about your business and don't worry about it. There is no harm in that!
 
^He obviously is crushing on you and you are his primo JO fantasy material as has been pointed out. I agree that you shouldn't have to ignore the person, just ignore any overtures. If it is really creeping you out try going to the gym at times he isn't usually there and he might get the message.
 
rareboy said:
^He obviously is crushing on you and you are his primo JO fantasy material as has been pointed out. I agree that you shouldn't have to ignore the person, just ignore any overtures. If it is really creeping you out try going to the gym at times he isn't usually there and he might get the message.
Click to expand...

I'm kind of stuck at my time. I get off work at 1 pm and head straight there. I used to swim and run the treadmil, leaving at three right before the people who get off work start arriving at the gym (becomes a mad house then).

I stopped swimming completely to avoid him. Because we used to be in the pool at the same time.

It's hard to guestimate when the high schoolers are coming in, as there is a big high school nearby with 7,000 students attending. School is out so they can pretty much come whenever they want. I never had this problem during the school year because they were likely in school when I preferred to go to the gym.
 
Guess who I see today in the pool as I entered the gym... the high schooler.

I looked at the ceiling as I walked past him and felt his eyes on me the whole time. And as I left after running an hour on the treadmill, his eyes were on me again. Only this time, he crossed the water barriers in the pool and swam towards me as I was walking to go to the lobby entrance.

Today I didn't even go at my normal time in the evening. It was an early AM workout.

High school can't start soon enough so I can have some peace.

People are bold now. I was in high school a few years ago and I was NEVER this bold towards anyone I liked.
 
Lost..strike up a convo with him, be nice, and see what he says. Maybe he is at the early stage where staring at guys is enough for him and he is just learning about himself and being gay. Be that guy that makes him more comfortable.
 
Hmm, interesting post, I'm not sure what I'd do in your situation.

Are you, for lack of better words, obviously gay? That was pretty ballsy of him to swim straight at you the other day.
 
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