nervous about random/online hook ups...

[TylerDurden222]

so as I continue my search for the perfect first guy to hook up with, i can't get around the possiblity of catching a disease. so i'm curious as to what the "safest" way of hooking up would be...i'm thinking to avoid kissing and blowjobs, and sticking to hand jobs, ass fingering and maybe fucking with condoms. those 3 seem to be free of any possible disease transmissions...as much as i'd love to have my cock sucked by a guy for the first time, herpes and possibly HIV are too scary for me...

any thoughts for this neurotic bi curious guy???

 

[sixthson]

any thoughts for this neurotic bi curious guy???

My first thought (and suggestion) is that you remain faithful to your wife. Please consider her before going on with this. Besides the physical concerns you have, there would likely be emotional or psychological ones.

 

[KaraBulut]

Well, honestly....

If you were to ask what's the safest way not to have a car accident, we'd tell you not to get in a car.

That's kind of what you're asking here... you're doing an anonymous casual "hookup" and you're wanting assurances about risk of getting an STD. Maybe you need to rethink your strategy for losing your virginity?

There's two basic rules of safer sex:

• Preparation.
• Choices.

Preparation involves condoms, water-based lube, etc.

Choices involves knowing your partner and being realistic about what you're planning to do with your partner and when.

And not getting so shit-faced or stoned that you forget the two basic rules.


Instead of focusing your efforts on a "get it over with" hookup, why don't you actually meet a guy, get to know him, have a talk about sexual history and have a sexual encounter with someone that you like and trust?

Just a thought...

 

[Seasoned]

It's me again! And again, based on my experience i'd say you are feeling past due for hot gay sex. It's easy for me to understand. I behaved in ways I'm not proud of. I was very egotistical and essentially used people for sex, feeling justified because they were using me. The problem? We are emotional creatures and sooner or later that kind if behavior catches up with us. Sex on the side sounds hot, feels good, but there is a price to pay, believe.

 

[cardshark]

Unfortunately you cannot reduce the risk to 0 unless you abstain. Think about it:

-Anal sex with condoms: what if the condom is defective or, more commonly, breaks? Condoms are not 100% effective, and to top it off, they are even less effective at anal sex (however, no one can tell me what the actual breakage % chance is, I think its more common than most people think).
-Herpes can be spread from skin to skin contact!
-Mutual masturbation is not risk free - it carries some risk of certain std's which is increased if the other guys pre-cum or cum gets on your dick (which is virtually impossible to avoid unless you are using condoms).

You know what really gets me. People talk about risks. They will tell you such-and-such activity is low risk. But they won't quantify the risk. I want to know the odds so I can make an informed decision. So blowjobs are a low risk for HIV? Well, quantify it! I don't accept such terms like "low", "little" or "next to none" unless you can back it up with figures. The sad part is, I've looked for these figures and I can't find them.

 

[saymyname]

I think the figures are considered low because the amount of people who test positive for HIV and say they've only had unprotected oral sex in that window period is pretty low. Plus, anatomically, there's less chance of the virus spreading.

Always use condoms for anal sex. Use a lot of lube. Make sure the condoms haven't expired and don't keep them in your wallet.

As for BJ's... you can always just use a condom for those too, dental dams for rimming, and gloves for fingering. If that's too much plastic, and for many it is, I would venture to say the chances of getting an STD from oral sex are still pretty low. I know a lot of people will disagree. But I've always been told, use condoms for everything including oral. But I've had oral sex (unprotected) with, I don't know, 15 or so guys and I've never had an STI.

But who knows. Maybe it's because I'm in college and some of those guys aren't very sexually active compared to other people.

 

[TylerDurden222]

thanks guys, appreciate the feedback

i just one of my good buddies was as curious as I am. I already know them well, they're hot, and I know their sexual history. but they are all arrow straight...

 

[hotatlboi]

Kissing and BJs are not going to give you hiv.

 

[wastingmymind]

If you're nervous, then don't.

You know what, I'm sick of this trend where gay guys see other gays guys as a disease. I mean, if I know someone's sketchy I wouldn't sleep with them. But we've gotta stop being afraid of intimacy. If there's someone who's good looking with a stable job he doesn't hate and likes to platonically cuddle with puppies, I really don't give a shit if he had herpes.

And BJs with condoms should be punishable by law. BJs should be a means, not an end.

 

[saymyname]

And BJs with condoms should be punishable by law. BJs should be a means, not an end.

Dude, a lot of hookups consist of BJ's and BJ's only. Not every guy is comfortable with anal sex upon a first encounter or one night stand or casual hookup. So sometimes a BJ is all that happens. For me, personally, I'm in a non-monogamous relationship and I use condoms for BJ's with other guys. So does my bf. Nothing would cause relationship problems like getting an STI from your lover from another guy, or vice versa.

 

[MTintheCity]

Hey all, new here. One quick question I had about mutual masturbation. I used the precum of the guy I was with(he said he was negative but of course you never know) to jack off. I kinda did it without realizing(heat of the moment I guess, I regret it now). I don't have any other STD's. What are the chances of me catching something from him? I read so many different things from sites that you never know who is correct. Ugh.

 

[Edward Twinkletoes]

Honestly?

Coming from someone who's BTDT, if you want to save yourself a lot of grief, just don't do it. About the only way you can have sex and be sure you won't get some kind of disease is if you wear a space suit and rub up against each other real hard.

Honestly, all of the rubbers and shit just get in the way and it's no fun with them. And it's in no way worth the risk without them.

If you do it unprotected with no testing or whatever, you'll be kicking yourself when you're thinking every little thing might be an STD.