Never been in a relationship?

[vabirly]

So I just turned 18 and I've never been in a relationship I've made out with guys here and there that's about it. My friends always tell me that I need to find myself a man I'm not ugly I guess.. But is it just me or is it hard to talk to guys? I'm starting to feel lonely at times I'm still in high school but I'm more attracted to older men around 24ish. Is this normal?

 

[Seasoned]

We each make our own normal. You're going to have an easier time with guys in their 20s once you start college. Now that you're 18 you may want to explore the possibility of joining a LGBT organization as another way to meet people.

 

[TX-Beau]

Very few gay men have been "in relationships" at 18. You are JUST beginning, don't fucking sweat it. Go out, have a good time, the rest will take care of itself.

 

[vabirly]

I'll try maybe its just that I've been seeing a bunch of my close friends getting into relationships im just feeling left out

 

[TX-Beau]

High school is when straight people start, gay people usually start in college - sucks I know - but there it is.

 

[vabirly]

There ya go thanks haha thats what I was wondering 4 more months to go!

 

[TX-Beau]

If it's any consolation for you, in high school I was still chasing twat trying to be someone else - YOU are ALREADY way farther than I was at your age.

 

[vabirly]

I'm not too crazy about it I guess I'm still a virgin

 

[TX-Beau]

better than twat - trust me on that.

 

[Maklaar13]

At only 18 you should not rush into anything with anyone. If it happens, welcome it with open arms, otherwise, enjoy life and take your time to make sure that you are ready should the opportunity of a relationship arrives.

 

[vabirly]

Yeah thats true I tottally agree its just better to wait until the time is right.

 

[eastofeden]

We are all different...there is no right or wrong way to go about it.

I am originally from San Jose too. If you want to meet cool 24 ish guys...check out downtown Santa Cruz .

 

[Laufey]

I didn't mind never being in a relationship until I turned 25.

Now I fear it won't happen before turning 30

You should play the field when you are 18. At the moment just have fun and focus on having a solid group of gay friends.

Plus I hear when you aren't looking that's when someone comes out of nowhere. So that's kinda my tactic now

 

[Rolyo85]

I hadn't done anything until I turned 25. It's been 2.5 years since then and I have had 3 relationships since then, and dating guy number 4 now. No such thing as too old.

 

[Scealle]

I am 22 this year and haven't been in any relationships. I have had a lot of crushes, the high schools ones didn't happen. And I had a huge crush on this guy when I turned 18.

That time I was really desperate so he freaked out. A year later I was hit on by a bi-guy (he was just fooling around) I thought he liked me and I tried to like him back. I was quite desperate too that time and it turned out pretty badly.

I haven't met any gay guy in real life yet so I would be very nervous too so i think that's normal.

 

[Rolyo85]

Why would gay guys make anyone nervous? And how are you 22 and never met any?

 

[winterkill]

Best advice I can give is to find who you are first.

Please, don't try to do that. You could spend all your life sitting around trying to define yourself instead of picking up experience in the interaction with others.

Just be careful what you do as there are people out there who will try to show you "how life is" but that is only their perception. Plus be careful who you lose your virginity to...once you lose that you can't get it back.

Is there a new virginity movement I am not aware of? Do men have a hymen nowadays?

Homosexuality without sexuality isn't homosexuality. Don't wast your time, hurry up dating and enjoy all the safer sex and all the relationships you are longing for.

 

[Rolyo85]

Virginity is a burden to be shed as early as possible, under controlled comfortable circumstances. It holds no value whatsoever, other than for creeps and pedophiles, and there is nothing precious about it. Virgins are not hotter, more innocent or anything of the sort. They're just inexperienced and often annoying.

I am saying it in the coldest, most cynical possible way not because I'm a douchebag, but because the gay community is plagued by this over-romanticized idea of the perfect first time that I feel not even 14-year old girls hold anymore, and it leads to SO MANY problems in dating and relationships. Sex is a skill, and as such - it needs to be practiced for one to be good at it. 9 out of 10 times your first time will suck, simply because you won't know what you're doing. And that's ok.

As for finding oneself, I also urge people to first figure out a bit about who they are, especially when it's about closeted gay boys. We hide our personality from the world for so long, that we have no idea who we actually are until we start coming out. And even after that it's months - and some times longer - until we settle into our new "self". Jumping into dating right away in that period doesn't end well.

 

[Scealle]

Why would gay guys make anyone nervous? And how are you 22 and never met any?

I wouldn't be sure what should I say and what not to be honest.

I need to correct about not meeting any gay guys. There are a few seniors in my college that are apparently gay, but they graduated before I can get to know them. The closest to friends I have is a few bisexual males. One that I had a fling with that turned out badly and the other one just doesn't seem to mix well with me for some reason.

 

[panic1]

Don't stress about it. I didn't have my first kiss until i was 21. I know it makes me sound like a complete NUN but i really was not interested in getting intimate with strangers of who's name i would not remember in the morning. I had all my firsts with my boyfriend when i was 21. Although me and my boyfriend are not together any more at least i can say i loved the person (and still do) who i had all my firsts with. I was lucky in the sense that my boyfriend was 'straight' before we got together so we did share a few firsts equally.

Your time will come. Don't rush it.